Friday May 23 – 2003 :: I Want a New Girlfriend

How to Get a Threesome (5:00PM EST) Jack

Here’sa pretty good guide to getting yourself a threesome. Hopefully we’ll see somemore articles from this guy.

Threesomes, when we hear the word we instantly think of the last porno we saw, and how much fun it looks to have two girls. Sadly many people think this is an unattainable goal in life and therefore don’t pursue it. I however decided to go for it, and what do you know, I had a threesome the first weekend I tried for one. I’m not a pimp or a player; I’m also not the most handsome guy in the world. I’m just an average Joe who is confident. I’m writing to not share my personal experiences, but more to offer general advice for fellow threesome seekers out there.

Step 1) Make friends with girls who love sex. While this step may seem like a basic thing for some, other it may seem incredibly difficult. My best advice is to be social and outgoing and just talk about sex to girls a lot. Eventually you’ll meet a few who want to have sex with you.
Step 2) Get one girl into the idea. The common mistake most guys make when seeking a threesome is they try to talk two girls into at once. While this may work if the girls are good friends or bi-sexual lesbian partners, in general this is makes having a threesome a lot harder. The easiest way is by far to get one girl interested at a time. The best way to do this is just too casually bring it up in a conversation about sex with a friend. “You ever want to have a threesome?” In my opinion, this is actually the best line to find out if they’re interested. A side note on picking the girl, I have never done this with a girlfriend, and I find many people are uncomfortable having sex with two people in love. It is much easier to actually have two girls if both the girls are just friends of yours or even just people you know like sex.
Step 3) Together bring the third party in. Here lies the tricky part. So you have a nice girl lined up to fuck you and who is willing to have a threesome, good for you. Now together you have to convince a third person to engage in the mighty act. I found the best method is to find a girl who is willing to have a threesome, or just likes sex and entice them into the threesome. For instance, invite both girls out to hang out with you. One of them knows they are looking for a threesome and the other is oblivious. After spending some time bonding as friends invite them both over to your place and if they both agree you’ve completed the hardest step.
Step 4) Lets have sex! Okay you have to hopefully good looking women in your house, but how does one engage in the actual threesome itself? I find the best method honestly is to lighten the mood with a game like strip poker. This may seem corny but most girls will be game and it gets everyone naked comfortably. The next step is to invite the girls either to your bedroom or to take a shower. Once you get them into the bed or shower the world is your stage.
Step 5) Enjoy yourself! The key to enjoying threesome sex is to not take it seriously. You’re not “making love” to your girlfriend or wife, you’re fucking two girls. Crack jokes, fool around, toss pillows, do whatever you want! Whenever I’ve had threesome the mood was always so uplifting and happy and that is part of their charm. If you’re not enjoying it then you’re doing something wrong.

Well that concludes my guide to having sex with two women. I swear if you can talk to women then you can have sex with two of them. I had my first threesome using this method when I was 17 years old, and found that all that matters is the social skills. It of course helps to be good looking and well built, but hey it still works for me. Good luck and happy fucking.

Vacation Time! (12:00PM EST) Jack
In just a few short hours I’ll be leaving to go camping for the weekend.I’ve got a cabin the the woods, and it’s full of beers, burgers, and babes. It’sgoing to be one long weekend drinking of until I can’t stand, smoking till Ican’t breathe, and making the sex like it’s going out of style. It’s to bad thatthe weather isn’t going to be nicer, but the place does have a heated pool so Iguess that’s a bonus.�

Checkout my new personals!! Whether you’re looking to get laid, get whipped, or justfind a nice girl, we’ve got them all right here!

It’s going to be nice to take a little breakfrom computers, cell phones, and internet porn for a few days. This is like myfirst vacation since I took off to Florida with Wondergirllast year. I hope you people all have a great Memorial Day, and don’t get bombedor anything. I’ll be out in the middle of fucking nowhere, so I’m pretty sureI’m safe.

Here’s a story from one of the local newspapersin the are.

Suspect shot by police dies�
May 23, 2003

A man shot by police after leading them on a car chase through two towns, and ending at a Monson stripclub, has died.Mark Merrill, 36, died of gunshot wounds lateWednesday night at Baystate Medical Center.Merrillwas reportedly shot three times, in the foot, chest and head, by Monson Police Sergeant Robert Shumaker.It startedearlier Wednesday when Merrill was pulled over in a routine traffic stop. Merrill reportedly threatened a Monson officer with a large knife and then tookoff.

His car was then found behind the Magic Lanternon route 20.Inside, Shumaker reportedlyapproached Merrill, who threatened the sergeant with a large barbeque fork. NEWS40 has also learned that Merrill’s ex-wife isa former Monson police officer.

See this is how bad the cops are in this area.First the kid has a large knife, and is able to somehow get away from the copsin Monson. Then traveling through the back roads of a couple of hick towns,leads the cops to one of the worst strip clubs you’ve ever had the displeasureof not seeing. Then after holding a FORK the cops shoot him THREE times!! Arethey so retarded that they could not somehow get the FORK away from this kid???I have nothing against police, but there is going to be a serious lawsuitagainst these chuckleheads. Next time you guys feel like shooting some one, makesure they’re holding something more than a utensil!!

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I Want a New Girlfriend – Friday May 30

Friday May 30 – 2003
Date: Friday, May 30 @ Eastern Daylight Time
Topic:

The Best Update eVeR!! (5:00PM EST) Jack
Since today is the greatest day of my short life, I’ve decided to makethis the best update in the history of this site! I’ve been working on it forhours already and it’s jam packed with porn, movies, flash, humor, boobies, andeverything else that I found on my hard drive. There’s going to be so much pornthat it’s going to take you weeks to get through it all!!!�

Today I found out that I’m only three classesaway from graduating!! It’s about time for this whole school thing to be overand done with. Luckily I only have to take one class over the summer and thentwo in the fall. I figure with this downtime it gives me a little more opportunityto work on the site,� get my A+ certification, and maybe get rid of thiswinter fat I’ve acquired. The last part is probably going to be the toughestbecause I really like to eat, and I don’t east the best foods in the world. Ihave been going to the gym, and I picked up one of those body fat analyzers so Iguess I’m on my way to that 6-pack.

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So yesterday I walk into thesupermarket and buy, 1 toothbrush, 1 tube of toothpaste, 1 roll of toilet paper,1 frozen dinner, 1 can of soda, and 1 box of cereal. The woman behind thecounter says, “so you are single huh?”� I replied verysarcastically, “why would you guess that, because I am buying 1 ofeverything?” The woman replies, “no, because you are ugly.” Ofcourse you should have seen the tits on this broad. I’m pretty sure they weresagging way below her knees. It was obvious that she hadn’t been laid in yearsand was taking out her frustrations on me. Oh well though, I can’t make all theladies wet.

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One day, a boy comes home afterschool looking jubilant. His mother asks him, “Why are you so happy?”

The boy responds, “I just had sex with my English teacher.”

The mother is mortified, of course, and tells the boy his father will hear aboutthis when he gets home. So when he does get home, the mother tells him whathappened between the boy and the English teacher.

The father breaks out in smiles and says, “Congratulations, son! You�re areal man now! Let�s go out for some ice cream to celebrate!” So off tothe ice cream parlor they go, but after eating their ice cream, the dad says,”Son, I�m still so very proud of you. Let�s go to the carnival tocelebrate.” And so they do, but after the carnival, the dad says,”Son, I know you wanted a new bicycle for Christmas, but what theheck…Let�s go get that new bike now!”

The boy groans and says, “Dad, could we go get the bike later? My ass isstill kinda sore from all the sex.”

Remember the kid that made thosegreat Star Wars videos? Well here they are plus a brand new Matrix Version!Check out these three great clips!

– StarWars Kid #1 – StarWars Kid #2 – StarWars Kid #3 -�

Pretty funny stuff… I’m justglad the internet wasn’t around back when I was a fat kid. Otherwise it wouldprobably be me in that video.�

So I watched the amazing race lastnight. I really dig this show because it’s all about using your brain and yourmuscles. It doesn’t have all the gay backstabbing of Survivor, and they usuallyhave some pretty cool teams. If you watched it last year you’ll remember theex-couple won it all in the end, even though the guy deserved about 90% of thatcash. This year looks to be more of the same, with all the good stuff from lastyear. You know what they say, if it aint broke don’t fix it.

So tonight is the opening of WrongTurn. I’m looking forward to seeing it, but it’s been getting bad reviews onboth Aintit Cool and Chud.I’ll probably still end up dragging the woman to this at some point though. Justlike I’ll be bringing her to see Freddy vs. Jason. What can I say…. I’m a suckfor shitty horror movies. Cabin Fever is another one coming out this summer soit’s looking a pretty decent summer for horror popcorn flicks. Check out thetrailers for yourself and see what you think.

– WrongTurn – Freddyvs. Jason – CabinFever –

So in just a couple of weeks it’llbe the beginning of summer and the beginning of getting to sit by the pool anddo absolutely nothing. I’ll be going to the Cape for a week and staying in aphat house on one of the islands. That’ll mean a whole week of doing nothing butdrinking, smoking, fucking, and swimming. Not too shabby huh? Bet you wish youwere going to be there….

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Wayback MachineAbout this captureCOLLECTED BY Organization: Alexa Crawls Starting in 1996, Alexa Internet has been donating their crawl data to the Internet Archive. Flowing in every day, these data are added to the Wayback Machine after an embargo period. Collection: Alexa Crawls DO Crawl data donated by Alexa Internet. This data is currently not publicly accessible TIMESTAMPSloading     NameLast modifiedSizeDescription[DIR]Parent Directory 30-Dec-2002 09:22 – [DIR]admin/ 01-Jan-2003 19:56 – [   ]ags.pl 01-Jan-2003 19:52 9k [TXT]amateur.html 01-Jan-2003 21:19 16k [TXT]anal.html 01-Jan-2003 21:19 5k [TXT]anime.html 01-Jan-2003 21:19 1k [TXT]asian.html 01-Jan-2003 21:19 5k [TXT]babe.html 01-Jan-2003 21:19 15k [TXT]black.html 01-Jan-2003 21:19 3k [TXT]blowjob.html 01-Jan-2003 21:19 7k [TXT]celebrity.html 01-Jan-2003 21:19 3k [   ]cgiworks.pm 01-Jan-2003 19:51 17k [DIR]data/ 01-Jan-2003 21:19 – [TXT]eula.txt 01-Jan-2003 19:51 12k [TXT]fetish.html 01-Jan-2003 21:19 4k [TXT]gay.html 01-Jan-2003 21:19 2k [TXT]group.html 01-Jan-2003 21:19 1k [TXT]hardcore.html 01-Jan-2003 21:19 2k [   ]http.pl 01-Jan-2003 19:51 4k [   ]init.cgi 01-Jan-2003 19:51 7k [TXT]lesbian.html 01-Jan-2003 21:19 2k [TXT]mature.html 01-Jan-2003 21:19 3k [TXT]movies.html 01-Jan-2003 21:19 3k [DIR]mysql/ 01-Jan-2003 20:01 – [   ]partner.cgi 01-Jan-2003 19:51 6k [   ]post.cgi 01-Jan-2003 19:51 9k [TXT]readme.txt 01-Jan-2003 19:51 1k [   ]report.cgi 01-Jan-2003 19:51 2k [TXT]sextoys.html 01-Jan-2003 21:19 1k [   ]sql.pl 01-Jan-2003 19:51 2k [DIR]stats/ 31-Dec-2002 04:26 – [TXT]teen.html 01-Jan-2003 21:19 4k [DIR]templates/ 01-Jan-2003 19:50 – [TXT]tgp.html 01-Jan-2003 21:19 11k [TXT]tits.html 01-Jan-2003 21:19 2k [DIR]upgrade/ 01-Jan-2003 19:50 – [DIR]utils/ 01-Jan-2003 19:51 – [TXT]voyeur.html 01-Jan-2003 21:19 4k