I Want a New Girlfriend – Wednesday June 18

More LAME AIMShit (5:00PM EST) Jack
Sorry about the lack of true posts, but sometimes these AIM convosreally crack me up. This one is super long so it’s spread out over a copy ofpages. It a fucking long time for her to block me, but I think it was worthit.�

Cwazy Sam (3:17:53 PM):hi
iwangworld (3:17:57 PM):hey there
Cwazy Sam (3:18:03 PM):how r u??
iwangworld (3:18:24 PM):not too shabby
iwangworld (3:18:26 PM):how you doing?
Cwazy Sam (3:18:39 PM):not 2 bad thanks
Cwazy Sam (3:18:50 PM):u?
iwangworld (3:19:24 PM):pretty good
iwangworld (3:19:28 PM):you in deerfield yet?
Cwazy Sam (3:19:40 PM):nah not yet
Cwazy Sam (3:19:54 PM):im going to spain tomorrow with my girls then back to america
Cwazy Sam (3:20:10 PM):so i’ll be there sometime early july
iwangworld (3:20:16 PM):cool
iwangworld (3:20:21 PM):you wanna get together?
Cwazy Sam (3:20:44 PM):huh?
iwangworld (3:20:50 PM):when you come back here
iwangworld (3:20:58 PM):do you want to get together
Cwazy Sam (3:21:13 PM):yeah sure
iwangworld (3:21:40 PM):are you easy?
Cwazy Sam (3:22:08 PM):lol no
Cwazy Sam (3:22:30 PM):hey u just made urself sound like a total loser so bye
iwangworld (3:22:34 PM):heyyyy
iwangworld (3:22:39 PM):i was just kidding around
iwangworld (3:22:41 PM):i’m sorry
Cwazy Sam (3:23:13 PM):w/e
Cwazy Sam (3:24:20 PM):maybe 1 thing u should know… i can be super sweet but piss me off and im a total bitch
iwangworld (3:24:27 PM):so when we meet, i can fuck you up the ass right? or will you just toss my salad?
Cwazy Sam (3:24:27 PM):but hey im female so thats how it goes i guess
iwangworld (3:24:38 PM):oops sorry about that
iwangworld (3:24:40 PM):wrong im
Cwazy Sam (3:24:48 PM):bye

ClickHere To Read the Rest of the Conversation

January 16 – 30 Post Archive :: I Want a New Girlfriend

Wednesday January 31, 2001

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Women: The 17 Ways They Fail In Bed (11:40PM EST)Jack

1. MILKING IT: When stroking a guy’s dick don’t grab it like a bus rail and start jerking it like you were milking a cow. Don’t use the love sword as if it’s a piece of gym equipment to strengthen the forearms. The male organ is a thing of wonder and beauty, and should be awed, worshipped and held tenderly at all times. The sensitive part is at the top (where your face should be), not two-thirds of the way down.

2. ROBOTS: When sucking a guy’s dick don’t just get on the end of the thing and jam your head back and forward. It’s a beautiful instrument; it should be caressed, inspected, kissed and licked from every possible angle.

3. SILENT FRIGHT: If you’ve come and cannot be coerced to scream to show your appreciation, at least make some sort of sign to inform the guy that he’s done his duty and can blow his biscuits whenever he wants.

4. NO LAUGHING MATTER: Don’t laugh if your creative male lover gets carried away and says things like “Ride my hard cock you filthy cock-sucking slut” or “I want to rinse your mouth with my fresh, white love potion.” Laughter at any aspect of the male performance will not enhance it. Just be grateful you’ve got a guy who can speak whole sentences.

5. CLOSING UP: If a man is willing to take the trouble to come on your face, don’t close your eyes. He wants you to share this ecstatic moment of joyful union and love with him. Semen is not likely to cause permanent blindness in most cases – but this is a risk you should be prepared to take for his happiness.

6. POOR PRESENTATION: Presentation is all important. Don’t wait to be asked to get it doggy-style. Roll over and present. You know you love it.

7. HANGING AROUND: When he is done, you should not kiss and cuddle, he does not want to touch you. You should leave the bed and leave him in peace. If you are a one-night stand you should leave the premises with out thieving anything or asking for a phone number. His work is done.

8. BEING SHY: Always offer the Hershey Highway. You know you love it. If you don’t like it that much, still offer it as you can quite easily play with yourself as he rams away.

9. BEING A DRIP: You always have tissues in your bag, use them to clean his sheets and any ball bag drip page if you have misbehaved and not swallowed everything.

10. CLOCK-WATCHING: Never, ever, ever, ever even think of saying “Are you going to come soon.” If you’re doing a blowier, you’d have to take your mouth off to utter the question. If you’re giving a hand-job, you should have gone to the gym to work your biceps. If he’s shagging you and takes more than 10 minutes you should be grateful. This is not a time trial but a blissful act of union between two sexually and gifted human beings.

11. FISHING FOR COMPLIMENTS: Don’t ask him if you’re the best lover he’s ever had. Most men have had so many sexual partners that it is unlikely that you are. Please don’t ask a man to lie about such an important thing.

12. PLAYING DEAD: Don’t just lie there, do something. Good sex is not a spectator sport and it helps if both parties move around a bit. I know you expect the men to do all the hard and skillful work. We don’t mind that and we’re blessed with the equipment and know-how to do it but at least put some effort into the act to show your appreciation.

13. BEING POSSESSIVE: If you are lucky to have an imaginative lover who can satisfy two women at a time don’t sneer at or reject his exciting suggestion that one of your friends joins you to make up a threesome. If he’s a real man he’s probably shagging her anyway. Plus you might learn something from her to keep your man really happy.

14. NOT KEEPING YOUR HAIR ON: Don’t shave all your pubic hair off. It makes your pussy look like a piece of poultry past its sell-by date. At best, it looks like the snatch of a ten-year-old. If you want to trim, go for a nice sexy racing stripe in the manner favored by the Playboy models that your man would rather be shagging.

15. SPITTING IT OUT: When a man has gone to so much trouble to ejaculate and get his aim right into your mouth, it is rude to spit it out without savoring the taste and gluey texture. You should play with semen like a block of Hubba Bubba, blowing bubbles, chewing and throwing from side to side. A line like “I love it when you come in my mouth” makes for a happy finale to fun and games.

16. INGRATITUDE: Never forget to thank a man for all the effort and energy he has expended on making love to you – especially if:
A) sex has lasted more than five minutes and/or:
B) you managed to achieve an orgasm. A man’s role in sex is far more demanding than a woman’s so it is always nice when one’s prowess is appreciated.

17. SEEKING FAVORS: Never contemplate taking advantage of your man’s warm after-sex glow to seek favors or make requests. As he drops off into well-deserved slumber, resist the urge to ask “Do you think I should buy that dress, skirt / sofa / Mercedes / country cottage?” There is a name for the practice of mixing sex with material gain – prostitution.”

Old News / Forums

Some More New Pictures (11:31PM EST)Jack
I added a couple new galleries for all you horny kids out there. Check out the bikini and hot chicks galleries. You can thank me by clicking on the banners. Are there any other galleries you want to see up here? Or any pictures you want to share? Just give me an email.

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It’s Melonrific!! (7:56PM EST)Jack
I like good emails.
Hey, thanks for the great plug 🙂 I actually stumbled upon your website by accident. I’m on a joke mailing list, and thecampusrag was listed on it. I fumbled around there for a little while, and checked out your link. I was actually suprised that MSB or CSG wasnt listed 😉 you can put my cam on if you want, im not on it as much as i should, but i do make apperances. its on atm if you want to giggle at the silly faces i tend to make. Sorry I havent linked to ya in my blog yet, its next on my list.


See, now that’s a good email. Why can’t I get more emails like that one. Instead I get these.

Hi, I have a girlfriend who I’ve been seeing for 10 months. I really love her and I want to fuck her. Do you have any suggestions on how I can get her to blow me? oh yeah btw i’m 12 years old.


I seriously don’t want to get that shit anymore. Although I was a little pimp in grade school, and my kindergarten teacher all over me, I wouldn’t have had the balls to ask some one how to get her to blow me! Don’t kids play video games, basketball, or other shit that kids do anymore? Plus another thing, what is some 12 year old kid doing looking at my site? Where are his parents?? I don’t want to come off as some nutcase, but I’ve got a kid and I when he hits 11, 12, or 13, he wont be playing on the internet looking at sites like this. He’ll be helping me pick up the recently single MILFs at the playground!

Old News / Forums

Fucked Up College Story Number 1 (7:08PM EST)Jack
I was checking out the Campus Rag when I noticed the link for F.U.C.E. or Fucked Up College Experiences, and I thought to myself. I’m in college, and I’ve got some fucked up stories so why don’t I share some with you guys.

This story actually happened back in 1996 when I was freshman at American International College. See I was pretty young for my grade, I entered college when I was 17, and was not familiar with the experiences that college would bring to me. I did not know of the all night parties, and the girls that put out on the first date. Shit I was hooking up with girls that actually swallowed! As every 17 year would have done in my shoes, I partied like a rock star. Weekends consisted of 30 packs of Bud Ice, and if there wasn’t a enough money for that, a bottle of Kappy’s Tequila would have to do.

So one weekend there was an around-the-world party over in the football dorm. Me and some friends from my dorm paid the five bucks and started to get our drink on. We spent the first half of the night getting wasted in the Long Island Ice Tea room, and then decided to move around the place and mingle with some people. I ended up in the Cape Codder room and spied this mint baby. This girl was like everything you see on Babewatch, and then some. So me being in my wasted state decides to go over and talk to her. Now everything after that is pretty fucking hazy. The last thing I really remember is her telling me that she’s has a boyfriend.

Well, the next morning (night?) when I wake up I’ve got a headache the size of Roseanne Barr’s left breast. Now I’ve had hangovers before, but something was totally wrong this time. Like my eye feels ten times bigger than it should, and I can’t really open it. So I take a look in the mirror and see that there’s something that looks like tar. I decided not to fuck with it, because I was still pretty drunk. I fall back into bed, and the next time I open my eyes the sun is shining through.

So I drag my ass into the bathroom to take a look at what the fuck was over my eyebrow. I’m looking at it, and it suddenly dawns on me… It’s a big fucking scab! Some how the night before I had fucked up my eye pretty good. Since it wasn’t still bleeding or really causing any trouble I left it alone, took a shower and headed off the cafeteria. All my friends look like they had the shit beaten out of them too, except I was the only one with the scar to prove it. The only thing was, I had no fucking clue how it happened! I wanted to at least now if I tripped down the stairs or maybe got my face bashed in by the girl’s boyfriend. To tell you the truth I was hoping for the latter, it would have made a better story.

I end up talking to the dude that hosted the party and asked if he had noticed any brawls or fights. He said that it seemed pretty chill and hadn’t noticed anything out of the ordinary. I was a little disappointed. But it did mean that I didn’t make a total ass out of myself which is pretty cool I guess. I figure I must have been walking down the stairs in my dorm and ate it somewhere. I still have the scar on my eyebrow, and maybe I’ll take a picture of it tonight to prove it to ya guys. Another great story happened that night too, but I’ll tell that one later tonight.

Link of the Post: White Trash World

Old News / Forums

I’m Taking My AIM Name Off Here (6:45PM EST)Jack
Cause this is the retarded shit that I have to deal with.

Paul Poker2: hiya i just got this aim name from the web site i wananewgirlfriend.. tell me more about yourself
getnewgirlfriend: ummm
getnewgirlfriend: why?
Paul Poker2: becasue I’m interested in who u are? I’m a 20 yr old guy from UK.. getnewgirlfriend: well read the site if you’re interested
Paul Poker2: ok i am but would like to ko who u are.. if i can..
getnewgirlfriend: k
Paul Poker2: 🙂 are u in the US?
getnewgirlfriend: yep
Paul Poker2: what would u like to tell me?
getnewgirlfriend: nothing
Paul Poker2: ok
Paul Poker2: this is goiung to take a while i can tell.. lol

Do you people have some sort of sick twisted depression in your lives? Shit if you want to know about me, just read through the site. I don’t hide anything, and everything is up for public consumption. Whether you want to know about my kid, girlfriend, car, school, or whatever interests you, it’ here. Cruise through the archives and that’s where you’ll learn about me and stuff.

I’m still looking for some banners, so if you guys want to help me out, it would be gladly appreciated. I’m linking this guy just because I said I wouldn’t and now I feel kind of bad. You’re welcome. School of Ass posted the same link as I did about the retarded couple trying to get hits for marriage. Looks like it’s a scam though, the counter never increases.

I like this site here. Want to know the reasons why I like him?

1. He linked to without begging for a link first. I think it’s pretty cool when some one who runs a website, puts another sites link up just for the hell of it. I’m sure Big Dark Cloud wasn’t expecting to get linked or anything, but I just though it was cool of him.

2. He’s got some good shit up there and his site looks good. Now I’m not any type of designer at all. My page is done in Front Page, and it’s wicked plain looking. Shit I only fucking use HTML. That’s why when a site that looks good it catches my eye. Other site that look good. Big Dark Cloud – The Campus Rag – Stile Project – Hacker Network – Freak Farm – Bad Ass Mofo –

So if your site look cool and you constantly ask me to link you AIM, chances are you’ll show up on this site. Now I’m saying I’m like Stile and you’ll get a million hits, but hopefully I can help out some of you guys that are just starting out.

Old News / Forums

37 Dicks? (12:05PM EST)Jack
I got an email from my links page today. Normally I just throw update that page every once in awhile, or sometimes not even at all. But every once in a great while I get an email from a really cool site that I like. Melissa from Melo-Online wanted to do a link swap. But she’s too cool for just the links page so I wanted to throw a plug here on the main page. I found her site a long time ago and went through it all one day. This girl is totally cool and she’s a knockout too. Maybe she’ll let me put her on the cam pages. She’s also got a cat named Marley, and wants pot legalized! Check out her site, and you wont be disappointed.

I had something else to write about, but I totally forgot. I’m so fucking tired lately the days just seem to be blending into each other.

Tuesday January 30, 2001

Old News / Forums

Who Said We Never Had a Black President? (5:37PM EST)Jack
Bill’s looking pretty black to me. Shit just look at the afro on that guy. Takes me back to a time of Soul Glo and shit. I’m not really sure how I feel out Bush yet. How much damage can one person do in four years right? And then the Clintons will be back in the house when Hillary wins. By that time I’ll be out of school and settling down with a wife and another kid or so. It’s going to be fucking great. My little kids will be bad asses who have no respect for authority. I’ve already trained my first one to flip off every girl that isn’t hot. I figure why waste time on the little one you know?

Old News / Forums

This Gives Me Hope (5:18PM EST)Jack
I found this site today. I guess women aren’t looking for money any more, they’re looking for hits on a website. Sounds like a pretty gay idea to me, almost the same as that Walter’s Mission that was up a little while ago. They do look like a nice happy coupe though. I really hope their marriage makes it. What’s up with that guys head though? He looks the dude from Dick Tracy. What’s his name? Flattop or something? I wish some chick would marry me because of this site. Actually what the fuck am I talking about… I just wish some chick would spread her legs and let me fuck her because of the site. I’ll give you a million hits and then some.

Here’s a great site for you to check out. I guess if you need a toilet installed this is the place to look. This link is for about half of the people that visit the site. You’ll know if it applies to you once you click on it. Dogmatic Law has got a new look, check it out and say hi. If you’re in the mood for commentary on what the worst of the web is, check out Daign. This mother fucker is taking on the Child Porn Industry and not even looking back. I commend you, now just do a review on me….

Link of the Post: Bad Ass Mofo

Old News / Forums

Some People Are Pretty Fucking Cool (12:33PM EST)Jack
I got an email from Stile saying that he wasn’t the person that sent that stupid email to me. I was pretty sure it wasn’t him, because why would he really care about this site? I just thought it was cool of him for emailing me. I guess people are really good at heart.

It’s fucking sleeting out right now and I’m stuck indoors. Normally I’d be able to take the dog out for a hike or something, but this weather blows. Today would be a perfect day to hang out at the mall and check out some chicks. Instead I’ll sit on my ass and play video games all day long. I bought that Evil Dead game for the Dreamcast, and even though I loved the movies, this game blows goats. The only good thing is Bruce Campbell does the voices. Maybe I’ll go out and buy the trilogy tonight, it’s been awhile since I saw the movies.

I did watch Swingers last night and I fucking loved it. It’s money, baby! I didn’t even know the guy from Office Space was in it. So totally rent or buy that shit next time you’re at Ball Buster, oops, I mean Block Buster. Tonight is going to be a Clerks night I think.

I’m going to be in the process of changing a lot things this weekend. So if something is fucked up, or doesn’t work properly, just send me an email. Shit send me an email anyways. I always look forward from hearing from you guys. I really like the fucked up links you send my way, so keep them coming. Also from now on I’ll be plugging a site at the end of each post. So if you’ve sent me an email and asking to have your site linked, it just might happen!

Oh yeah one last thing. Does any one want to make an animated gif for me? I need a couple of sizes made.


If some photoshop wizard did that for me I’d be wicked in dept to them. Send in your gifs to jack@iwantanewgirlfriend.com I’ll give you major linkage on this site if I used what you send in!

Link of the Post: The Spy
Link of the Post: American Jackass

Old News / Forums

More Chicks Say the Stupidest Shit (12:31AM EST)Devon

I read what your advice was to Jimmy or mike or whatever.. Below is a
pasting of what you said.. you can edit that out later if/when you
post this.
“Wow, thats really harsh of her. I think that when a person starts to think about cheating that means they are not happy with their current situation. She may also be trying to hint at something to you. As I said before girls love to play mind games. She might be trying to see if you feel the same way. She probably figures that if you have the urge to do it too, then its ok for her to end the relationship without feeling guilty. My advice is to break it off for a while. Let her loose for a while and see what she does. One of 2 things will happen. A. She realizes that she wants to be with other people, and that she is much happier. In this case, it’s good for you to know before anything long term develops. Why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you. I know it may hurt, but in the long run it is better than fooling yourself or being cheated on. Then there is situation B: She realizes how much she misses you, and that she doesn’t want anyone else, and she goes back to you. This is probably what you are hoping for. Although you will always be worried about her cheating. You need to think if you can be with a girl who you can’t trust.”
My comment to that is that Situation A has got to be the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. That’s just like temptation island. Sorry, I just had to say that. How can you give him advice where you let her run free? That’s got to hurt more than realizing she said that. That’s like saying “Sure go ahead and have sex with guys, while you walk all over me. But I love you and i still want to be in love with you. Hey maybe you can tell me about the guys you’re fucking and we can compare?”
Sorry but from a guy’s point a few that is just the dumbest advice to ever give. The best advice would be actually to tell her up front. But sometimes that doesn’t work. I’m pretty sure it is mind games, but why give her that advantage to have her way? It’s the biggest fucking torture to go through, when you love someone for x amount of years and you can’t even touch them for so many months because you’re so far away, and she tells you she sleeps around. I don’t even know the guy but goddamit why let it happen to another guy. So like hey post this. Thanks Dan

First of all thats not what i’m saying, and by the way i have never even watched temptation island, but I get your point. Now here’s what I was trying to get across. Why the hell would you want to be with someone who wants to cheat on you???????? It’s obvious he can not trust her. I am not advocating that he sit there and compare notes with her on who they each hooked up with since she left. I am saying let her go if thats what she wants. No matter how much you love someone it means shit if the other person is not happy. Let her go, go out and party with some friends, get wasted, hook up with some random girl, and forget the slut. Is that any clearer for you? This relationship is over. A girl may think that she wants to cheat on her boyfriend, and that’s normal. What is not normal is to tell him about it. The only reason she would do it is if she wanted to end the relationship, or is playing some sort of sick mind game to get attention from him. Honey, that’s definantly not the way to go about it. She is disturbed, dump her, end of story.

Link of the Post: Junior Painkiller

Monday January 29, 2001

Old News / Forums

Any Guys With Nine Inch Dicks? (11:09PM EST)Jack
If so you’ll want to check out this chicks website. She’s some hot little Asian chick that’s looking for guys with only 9 inch or bigger dicks. Of course like any girl she’s not looking for sex, she just wants to look at your dick. Of course I’d give her my manroot and have her begging for more. She’d be all over my jock, and would ride it like the pony she never had. Asians fucking love me for some reason. And I love them too. Of course everytime I fuck some Chinese broad, I wanna fuck another one 15 minutes later. If any Chinese girls check out this site let me know, I’d love to hear from ya.

Everyone check out Hate the Mainstreamhe’s old school E/N. You were probably in diapers when he first making posts. Check him out and check out the cool Fight Club stuff.

Old News / Forums

Sometimes I Just Wonder Why (7:23PM EST)Jack
Why do I keep doing this site? All I get from it is grief, pissed off girls, and lot’s of shit. Sure sometimes I get cool pictures, but most of the time it’s just emails from douche bags like this.

From: FuckHead
Subject: Why I Hate IWANG
Dear Jack,
You are the biggest idiot the internet has ever seen. I hate your site and every word that is written upon it. The porn you post has been on every other E/N site, and it’s been there long before you ever posted it. Also you write like a 12 year old African immigrant. If I want to read about girl problems I’ll visit Chicks Suck. If I want funny writings I’ll read X-Entertainment. I can find nothing good on your site.

Would you take the site down and spare us from your ideas any more. You are obviously a virgin, and by the looks of it will remain one for some time to come. I predict your first girlfriend will be some type of farm animal, and will leave you for her brother.

This is the end of my little letter and I hope you post it on your site for everyone to read. If one person stops going to your site because of me, I’ll be a happy man. Thanks again.


I highly doubt that this is from the “real” Stile. Although the return address was stile@stileproject.com I’m pretty sure he doesn’t like the site, but you can’t make everyone happy, right?

Link of the Post: Unrealistic Expectations

Old News / Forums

Monday’s Blow Goats (6:54PM EST)Jack
I hate Mondays so much! Sometimes I wish I could just sleep in all day and not even get out of bed. I’d grab the 2 liter bottle of coke, grab a pack of smokes, throw in some movies, and just let the whole day go by. Of course I can’t do that because I have to be an upstanding member of society. If I don’t go to school, I can’t make something better out of myself, and then I’ll be stuck washing dishes at the local diner for the rest of my life. And there’s no way in hell I’ll be washing other people’s tuna casserole and shit like that. I want a job where people come into my office and beg for my approval. I want a job where all the secretaries bend over and get their panties all wet when I come in. I know my dream job is out there looking for me, and some day it will come and knock on my door. This day may only come when I win the lottery, but a brother can dream right?

Tonight is going to be dedicated to Fight Club and to Swingers. I bought a few other movies the other night, but haven’t even had the time to open the plastic yet. Maybe this weekend I’ll just kick back with some Guinness and plant my fat ass in front of the tube.

I actually am supposed to get back into yoga. It’s been so long since I’ve done actual exercise I don’t know how my body is going to react to it. I think the EMTs should be on hand for this class. Or maybe I’ll just fold myself into a pretzel….

Old News / Forums

Even More Advice (12:50PM EST)Devon

I don’t know if you are real or not but I figured it couldn’t hurt.

Yes I am real for the thousandth time.

I’m 19, I’m in college, and I’ve never kissed a girl. Never fooled around, never really had a serious thing going. I’ve been on two dates and I blew both of them. The girls had no interest in me. My friends tell me I will eventually get action but I’m close to giving up hope. I need to know I’m not that rare but I doubt it’s true. Do girls want guys to try and fool around with them or something. I don’t know where to start or what to say when I’m talking to a girl at a party.

What did you do or say on the other dates? If you were quiet and shy then that may have been why the girl was not interested. Obviously she was interested enough to go out with you on a date, it is up to you to keep her interest. You don’t want to be shy but don’t be obnoxious either. Try to find the middle ground and act natural. As for getting into a girls pants, that totally varies by each girl. Some girls are out to have a one night stand and that’s cool. However, for the most part a girl wants you to notice her mind before her breasts. Try talking and being yourself. The more comfortable you are around girls the more comfortable they will be around you. You will eventually get some you just have to chill. Let me tell you something else. Ever notice how ugly guys have good looking girlfriends? Well us women are not as superficial as guys. We want someone to hold a conversation with. We don’t care how hot a guy is, if he is stupid, he is not worth our time. So act interested in her thoughts and feelings first and that will open the doors to physical things later.

Old News / Forums

More Advice (12:45PM EST)Devon

Hi, I have a female friend that I want to be my girlfriend. But she complains that I don’t talk enough. Which is true, I am a pretty shy guy. But with her I’m comfortable and can talk a lot more than I usually do. But she still says I don’t talk enough, and I ask her what she wants me to talk about. She never answers.
Also she says she doesn’t know me. I ask her what she wants to know but she won’t tell me. She says she just wants to know “ME” which I don’t understand. I’m not very complicated, I think she knows me pretty well. Meanwhile I feel that she’s the one that’s not doing very much talking.She doesn’t even answer some of my questions. Hopefully she’ll open up more after she feels that she knows me, but I don’t know how I can help her know me the way she wants.
Any advice you may have would be greatly appreciated.

Try telling her stories about your childhood and stuff. Tell her a funny story about how you ran through the screen door, or even the time you were really upset because your grandma died. Sounds like she is looking for some sort of real details of your life. Tell her the nickname you had when you were 8. Omit any stories about ex-girlfriends though, although we are all curious about our new guys past, we dont really want to know. It just makes things weird. If you have told her everything you can think of and are comfortable with, and she still feels like she doesn’t know you, tell her to ask you questions. Nothing is a relationship killer like dead air over the phone. A girl figures that if you can’t find anything to talk about now, then what the hell are you going to talk about when you start getting serious. You can even tell her about your day at work, school, etc… Just say something random, or ask her questions about her opinions on things, then give yours. Just try to fill space.

Old News / Forums

Why Do Girls Say Stupid Shit (12:39PM EST)Devon

More God given advice from Devon.

yea so im just talking to my girlfriend on the phone right, we have been together for about 8 months and i have actually been faithful and i never worried once about her being faithful to me. she gave me her virginity and i thought we were really close. but anyway on the phone she is like “im really worried that im going to cheat on you, i wont even go out if there are cute guys around, i dont know what i might do.” what the fuck is that. how the hell am i supposed to take that comment. im away at school right now and i have alot of girls here that i have blantantly come out and said they want me to break up w/ my girlfriend or just want to hook up or whatever and the thought hasnt even crossed my mind. even when i go out and get drunk all i think about is how i want her here with me. but anyway that really hurt and i have always trusted her but i dont anymore and to top that off i know feel completely inadequate as a boyfriend because she feels that she might cheat on for whatever reasons. i mean i dont see her very often so im not keeping her satisfied that way, but its not like im getting it either. when we are together its not a prob but we are not so that sucks. but anyway, i guess what im asking is, from a girls point of view, why in the hell would she > say something like that. i have never been so hurt by a comment in my entire life. anyway, id appreciate your advice or if not i think it helps to just blow off some steam and get some of this out of my system. well, its time to get real drunk and try and forget what just happened. thanks again Mike

Wow, thats really harsh of her. I think that when a person starts to think about cheating that means they are not happy with their current situation. She may also be trying to hint at something to you. As I said before girls love to play mind games. She might be trying to see if you feel the same way. She probably figures that if you have the urge to do it too, then its ok for her to end the relationship without feeling guilty. My advice is to break it off for a while. Let her loose for a while and see what she does. One of 2 things will happen. A. She realizes that she wants to be with other people, and that she is much happier. In this case, it’s good for you to know before anything long term develops. Why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you. I know it may hurt, but in the long run it is better than fooling yourself or being cheated on. Then there is situation B: She realizes how much she misses you, and that she doesn’t want anyone else, and she goes back to you. This is probably what you are hoping for. Although you will always be worried about her cheating. You need to think if you can be with a girl who you can’t trust.

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Greg Louganis’ B-Day (12:05PM EST)Jack
In honor of that homo diver surviving another year, I want you to check out the garageDogs performance of Greg. I totally guarantee you’ll like it.

The kids over Cult Chlydren are having fun…. It’s time like that when I remember why I quit doing this web page for a little bit. Why don’t all of you watch the Matrix start up some gay little cult and have a mass suicide. Trust me you’ll be doing the world a huge favor.

It’s late and I have an early class tomorrow, but I’ve also got a couple movies that I want to watch tonight. I bought Swingers the other night, and haven’t even had time to take of the plastic wrap. I want to watch the whole thing, but I know I’ll end up falling asleep like half way through. Oh well that’s really it for right now. I’ll post some more stuff after I get out of class and shit. In the meantime check out these links.

– Ted Bagel – Jiggin – Falk Ware – Limpy Chimp – Vixen Girl – Fat Willie –

Sunday January 28, 2001

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I Found a New Forum (8:33PM EST)Jack
I love causing trouble, and I found a place where we can fuck with a lot of gay ass people. Check out Gay Goth Forums. I’m going to spam the shit out of it and I hope you all do the same.

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Some Emails and Other Stuff (6:51PM EST)Jack
I’m tired and don’t really have anything to talk about so I’ll answer some mail and throw out some links.

From: Ron
Subject: School girl pics
Hey Jack:
love your site – a great relief from the daily grind at work. Whats the deal on the amateur pics and school girl pics??? Skanks aside, some of these little babes are sizzlin’ HOT!!! Where can I get some more like these??? Not the bogus Kara’s worn-out-teens-that-are-really-hookers types but the real girls gone bad like the ones up now.
Good luck to you & Jack & Devon (it won’t last – it never does, though I wish them well). Talk on ya again.

Yah I’m glad you like that shit, school girls really turn me on. You’re probably right about me and Devon, we had our first little fight!! Break out the champagne and let’s all toast to that!

From: Loaded Again
Subject: Loaded again
Thought you guys might be able to assist a young web site by spreading the word, and/or sending in some good drinking photos, stories, ??? I would be more than happy to return the favour.
the site is http://www.loadedagain.com/
May there always be another cold one in the fridge,

No problem you Canadien drinker! From what I’ve seen (the first page) there’s a couple pics of wet t-shirt contests which is always pretty cool in my book.

From: Trishka
I guess the jury is still out on whether it was a good idea or bad idea to let Devon have posting rights, hehe. I voted “no”, but at the same time, I’m a mature person, and I’ll give anyone a chance. So far it’s been pretty cool and all (I’m even growing to kinda like her), but she posted something tonight that kinda “irked” me. It’s when she said “…I believe in letting Jack say what he wants…”. Hello? LETTING?? I hate it when when people (not just women) do shit like this. There’s no “letting” about it… we are each individuals, with the right to say what we want, when we want… and if someone doesn’t agree or doesn’t like it: “tough titty said the kitty”… Anyway, it’s just words on a page and not much of it, if any, matters in real life (except to you and her), but I felt the intense need to point it out, regardless. Thanks 🙂

I’m glad when girls shoot down other girls, it just cracks me up. You’re right about this whole thing not even mattering, it’s all just a big joke. Most girls take one look at the title, see some tits, and will never come back here again. Other like Trishka here actually take the time to read this and get addicted to it.

From: Nova Eagle
Subject: “captin tony” etc.
Look. It’s incredibly stupid and probably of questionable legality to impersonate someone else. However, this guy (who appears to be a mentally challenged thirteen-year-old) does not run klingonacademy.com. The site itself is legitimate and forms the center of a modding community for the computer game Klingon Academy. Some of the people posting there now are extremely talented programmers and will be getting job offers from any number of digital-era companies. Professional developers employed at an electronic games company also occasionally post a little of their wisdom.

A site owner’s worst nightmare is a flood of spamming. Don’t punish John (who runs klingonacademy.com) and the rest of us for “Tony’s” stupidity. Try to act like the adult you’ll soon have to be and take down that news post. We have twelve-year-olds who enjoy computer games looking at posts, for god’s sake! Have a little decency and don’t tell anyone to post porn there.

Ok since this guy emailed me nicely I took down the user name and password. Thanks for everyone who did post something there when I asked. I’m getting kind of sick of all this shit. I now have to deal with these goth fuckheads. Some dickhead on there is trying to link to every picture I have on this site. Does he really think that some gay little site is going to use up my bandwidth? Get a fucking clue. I notice they use newspro to make their posts, so if any one remembers what happened to Ownerized and would like to help me out, send me an email. I think it would be pretty funny to have this site fucked with. Look at that loser…… I thought the whole goth fad was dissapearing…. Guess this kid watched a little too much Matrix and listened to Nine Inch Nails until he thought he was hardcore. Email this goth fuckhead………

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I Have a Dream….. (3:29PM EST)Jack
Well, I actually had a dream. You ever drink so much that you pass out and don’t know if the shit that you remember was a dream or if it really happened? That’s what happened to me. It all started off in this unfamiliar dorm room. I was half naked in some random bed, and there was this girl next to me. Since she looked pretty hot, I decided not to chew my arm off and make an escape. As the sun came up and I got a better look, I recognized the hot broad in bed next to me. It was Jen from the Campus Rag. From the smile on her face I knew I couldn’t have been that bad the night before.

I made my departure from her dorm and started to walk the halls. Although it looked a normal college dormitory, there were no room numbers, just website addresses. The first floor was full of all Geocities, Tripod, and Aol pages… I decided to pass by these and head up to the next floor. This is where I hit jackpot. The floor of hot web mistresses. First room was Jackie from the Electronic Whore. I’ve had the hots for this chick since the first time I laid eyes on her. Of course she was busy playing in IRC so I just stopped in, said a quick hello, and took off.

The second room was Nay, but since there were just a bunch of middle school boys, and 40 year old guys, I didn’t stay for too long. The 40 year olds kind of bugged me out.

Club Sandra was next and there she was writing the names of webmasters all over her body. After ten minutes she had run out of body parts and had to run to the bathroom.

I stopped in a couple more rooms, but they were pretty boring. So I went to the next floor up, the floor of hit webmasters. I figure I could maybe get some tips on how to increase hits, and get more chicks to send me pictures.

First room was the School of Ass. I could barely get in the door with all the rumpshakers in the room. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that much naked ass in the room. I slapped a few of them, and took off.

Next was Chimptopia, one of first stops when I hop on the internet. There were boxes of Mac and Cheese, lesbians, and DVDs all over the place. This room was fucking heaven! I said my thanks and took off from there.

Next room was Ernies Dorm of Whoopass. This dorm was filled with girls with Ernie all over their tits!

And last but not least was, Stile’s Dorm of Chicks, Tits, Scat, and Shit. I couldn’t even get in the door because there were so many people begging to talk to him. Shit I tried just saying hello, but it was pointless.

So after all that shit I woke up in my own bed, with a raging hangover. It was only a dream, but it was a fucked up trip!

Saturday January 27, 2001

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Sick Of All the Arguing (3:41PM EST)Jack
Yeah, so all day long I have people asking if Devon is real, my girlfriend, fake, or just some figment of my psychosis. I asked her really nice if I could post a picture of her and she agreed! So check her out and let me know what you think!! She’s a total babe huh?

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Bought a Bunch Of Movies Last Night (12:19PM EST)Jack
Well I made a trip down to the local Best Buy to pick up some software and I found my way into the movie section. And everyone knows that I’m a big movie addict. I’ve watched Fight Club over a thousand times and it still doesn’t get old. But I needed some funny movies to round out my collection, there’s only so many times you can watch American History X without getting a little fucked up.

So the first movie I got was Howard Stern’s Private Parts. I had seen this when it first came out and loved it. Howard is the only thing that gets me out of bed, well, except for the naked Playmate in my bathroom. He’s never failed to crack me up and I’m glad he signed on for a few more years.

Second one was Scarface. Although it sounds sad, I’ll admit it, I’ve never seen the whole movie. It was on TBS (the super station) but every other word was edited out, so you can’t really get the full effect. I’ll probably watch it tonight before I pass out from my night at the bar.

Also bought Clerks and Mallrats. Two awesome movies from View Askew.

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You’ve Become the Man When People…. (11:54PM EST)Jack
Steal your fucking identity. Some fucking loser posted my pic and stole my bio pretty much and just added some gay Star Trek shit. This guy is such a fucking loser that he wont post his own pic and original shit about himself. I haven’t really gone through the rest of that site, just because Star Trek bores me, but if you’re into that stuff you might like it. Why don’t we tell Captin Tonywhat a fucking douche bag he is.

I guess I should be flattered that some guy wants to be me, but it seems so fucking sad.

UPDATE: The kid took down his post, but he’s still an idiot. Just send him some hate mail or something.

Friday January 26, 2001

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The Debate Continues (10:48PM EST)Devon
So I get home from work today and I check up on the site. What do I find but you people don’t think I am real? OK, that’s fucked up. I pose this challenge to all of you who are non believers. Ask me any question that only a girl or the “real devon” would be able to answer. Mail me so you can find out that I am NOT Jack. I will be online for a while tonight, you can IM me. I plan on digging out some stuff from my ex’s to post tonight. But I guess that since I’m actually Jack I wouldn’t have anything like that…..

I would also like to say that the girl from the personal does not have a chance in hell with MY boyfriend. And he better stick to tearing apart the ugly girls from the personals or he is not getting any for a while. Does he think that I don’t read the site or something? Hell, he lets me post on it. I believe in letting him say what he wants as long as he doesn’t act on it but c’mon Jack wake up!!!

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Is Devon Real or Fake? (5:46PM EST)Jack
I got a couple of emails from people saying that they thought Devon was me. I can assure you that Devon is indeed real, and she does her own posts, but I understand if you don’t believe me…… Fuckers! So I think I’ll put it to a vote and see what everyone really thinks. Vote for whether you think Devon is real, or if I’m just some sick psycho pretending to be a girl.

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New AOL Personals (3:23PM EST)Jack
Since me and Devon are now together, I don’t really have a need for looking at the AOL personals anymore, but something just draws me to them. Kinda like you’re driving by an accident, and you don’t want to look, but you just have to. So here’s some of the more interesting personals I found in my area.

Honest Women Seeking Love – In this girls description she’s listed as having a few extra pounds. Now when I hear that I think about myself and my beer gut. This chick is pushing that limit and a whole lot more.

Shy Girl Here – I can see why this girl is shy. She’s a fucking total loser. She also lists her body type as a few extra pounds, and adds the classic “Only more to love!” Also I guess she was a catholic school girl as a young child. I don’t even want to picture this girl in some catholic school uniform. She ain’t no Britney Spears.

Come and Get me – Now this is the first and last girl I’d do in this entire list. She’s got that look that just screams “Fuck me on top of the kitchen table while my parents are in the other room!” Plus she’s a smoker and will travel any distance, which means she probably has a car. Maybe I’ll lose Devon and pick up this hooker.

Sweetgirl Looking for Love – This girl shouldn’t be looking for love, she should be looking for the nearest trailer park. First off her pic looks like shit, and if she really wanted to try and find a guy, she could have spent the dollar fifty to get her pic scanned over at Kinkos. Also as another bonus for this girl her occupation is listed as MOTHER. Now that’s a skill that I look for when I’m checking out girls. Not that it’s totally a bad thing, cause as a single father I know some of the shit she’s going through. But damn, I don’t announce it on my personal ad.

Where’s my true love? – Where’s the fucking plastic surgeon? I’m not sure what’s wrong with this chick, but something is totally off kilter. Looks like Marilyn Manson when he had the two different color eyes.

Honesty goes a long way – Yeah and hairstyles have changed a lot since the 80’s. Here’s a little from her profile. I am not picky here. I do however enjoy going to hockey games and watching teams bash each other out and then seeing them kick A**! Nothing more exciting than watching a fight and all that harcore blood…WOOHOO!!! She’s not picky, just fucked in the head. The love for violence must have started when she saw her redneck daddy beat the crap out of her hooker mom in a drunken rage. I guess shit like that sticks with you as you grow up.

silly cow seeks fruit loop – she actually looks like she’s seeking her next heroin fix…..

mistress seeks fun – I think we have the next terminator for T3: Ugly Girl’s Revenge.

Angel needs someone – angel needs to lose those bangs. I know everyone takes bad pictures once in awhile, but if you’re going to try and make a good first impression show a semi-decent pic for christs sake.

no need to go any further – I have the feeling you’ll have to go one more place after seeing this chick…. To your local doctor to treat all the STDs you get. She’s got like 10 personal ads up and in everyone she’s looking like a whore. Usually I’d be into that type of thing, but she just turns me off.

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More Shit From Devon (12:59PM EST)Devon
So I guess Devon got some email from you guys and is going to post her advice. Comments from Devon are in red.

let me get this straight: eating popcorn without his hands was he ‘drinking’ the popcorn? or just sticking his face down in the bucket and coming up for air?

i guess you could say he was “drinking” the popcorn. He held the box about 3 inches above his mouth with his head tilted back, and proceeded to dump it all over himself, getting only a few peices in his mouth.

i swear, it’s guys like that that give the rest of us the bad reps

Yeah they do, I didn’t date for a month or so after him. I was pretty disgusted with all guys.

anyway, i gotta question for you it may seem trite but…

not at all, i like getting questions from the site.

why dont girls ever say exactly wh at they’re thinking? (im sure countless other guys wanna know this too)

Two words: MIND GAMES, girls play these alot. A girl will totally keep quiet about something to see how well a guy can guess what’s wrong. It makes them feel like their guy is paying attention i guess. For instance if your girl is sick and doesn’t tell you and you don’t mention it to her, she will assume you are an insensitive asshole. I’m personally not a big fan of them, but a few of my friends think they help to know what is going on in the relationship.

and not just about guys/relationships, but about everything. ex. i was with 4 girls (not like that) and we were all chatting, and one goes upstairs to use the bathroom. almost immediately, they start talking about her eyebrows (the girl plucks ’em funny) and how she should let them grow.

I would just like to stop here and let you guys know the time, effort, and pain that goes into brow upkeep. It is the biggest pain in the ass. Your friends need to lay off on her.

so i(being the logical one, ha ha) asked them why they never told her, because if i were in her shoes, id like to know what was unsettling about my appearance. they said ‘because it would be mean.’ and talking trash behind her back isnt?

*sigh* i’ll never understand women

It is soo much easier to tear a person apart once their back is turned than to give them helpful tips without sounding mean when she is there. Girls are super catty and competitive too. They may see it as a fault of hers that makes them look better. Especially since there was a guy there. Even if you are all just friends, you can bet there was some competition going on.

Yeah so if you like the advice that Devon’s giving out, send her an email with some of your problems. She’d be happy to help out, or maybe just give you a clue.

Thursday January 25, 2001

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An Ex-Boyfriend Story (7:41PM EST)Devon
Here’s a little story about a guy that I dated before Jack. I’m sure all the ladies can relate to this. I had just started going out with this guy who seemed normal. Oh how wrong I was. We went to the mall one night and we were walking around. He was like, “I’m hungry” Ok, so we went to one of the stands in the foodcourt and he ordered a box of popcorn. Did not ask me if i wanted anything. We went outside and sat on a bench. He proceeded to eat out of the box, as in not using his hands. needless to say popcorn was flying everywhere, and he was soon covered with it. I then realize that I am dating a caveman. Why the hell would a guy think it is cool to act like a slob in a public space? Weird. Also remember I’m here to answer your relationship questions, or just girl questions in general. Email me!

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Some Hot Pictures For the Cold Nights (7:01PM EST)Jack
Since it’s like 50 degrees below 0 here, I’d figure I’d post something to make these chilly nights warmer. Check out the new Bikini Gallery. Sometimes pictures that leave a little bit to the imagination are good, but sometimes some good old porn is in order. Check them out and bundle up next to some one you love tonight.

I still haven’t finished that Ever After shit movie. I’ve got like another hour to go. The only motivation for watching it is seeing Drew Barrymore’s tits, and the hot sister that’s in the movie. Of course it’s like a PG movie or something, so I’m pretty sure there wont be any T or A.

I end up watching Pitch Black today, and it wasn’t half bad. That dude Vin Diesel or whatever his name is a badass and I’d want him watching my back if aliens ever invaded this planet. Oh yeah I’m getting my eyes operated on just so I can have the shine. I’m not sure if I want to spoil a scene in that movie, but oh what the hell it’s worth it. It’s basically just a reminded for all women to bring extra protection when it’s that time of the month. If you’ve seen the movie you’ll know what I mean.

I think I should post a good PMS story, what does everyone think?

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Dude Looks Like a Lady (3:21PM EST)Jack
In this day and age you have to extremely careful what you bring home from the bar, because you never know if there’s going to be a little surprise waiting for you at the end of the night. As the Stile Project has shown us, a dude can look like a pretty hot lady, and you wont be the wiser until he/she’s panties are down around the ankles.

I grew up on Cape Cod, and anyone who has ever been down there knows about Provincetown. P-Town, as the tourists call it, is the home for the gay and lesbo community on the Cape. Now I don’t have any problems with homos and lesbos, that is until they start coming on to me. I’m not talking about the lipstick lesbos that you see in the movies, I’m talking about chicks that look like Rosie O’Donnell and Lily Tomlin. Trust me you wouldn’t want to these girls going down on each other. Oh, yeah, which brings me to the point of my whole story, guys that look like girls. So…. what I’m trying to say is that Cape Cod has more than your average amount of homos.

Usually they stick to their town and don’t really venture too far from their gay bars, but on occasion, they’ll pop up in a regular tavern or beach bar. So this is where the trouble begins…. After a few drinks the thing line between hot and not starts to blur a little bit. We all know that after six beers, the heffer in the corner starts to look a little more attractive. I’m not saying that after some beers the homo at the bar is going to be looking good, but the Transvestite with the huge tits might not look so bad…..

Let me tell you a little story about a friend of mine and how he got a little to drunk one time. So after work one night we’re all at the bar hanging out drinking, smoking, the same ole shit. So my friend gets pretty drunk and starts talking with this “girl,” well at least she looked like a girl from a distance. So they’re hanging out talking at the end of the bar. At the end of the night they come over to us to say that they’re taking off for the night. Now this was the first time we had seen the “chick,” and the only way I can describe her is “Patrick Swayze with tits” If you’ve seen the homo movie with him in it, you’ll know exactly what I mean. Of course my friends and I are assholes and let him go home with this broad….

The next day we caught up with him and asked him what happened. He had sobered up by this time, and said they had just gone back to her apartment and “talked.” Which was total bullshit, but we weren’t going to make him feel like a total douche bag. After we pressured him a little more he finally admitted that when he went down it’s pants he found a surprise that he didn’t really want to grab. Maybe the best thing that came out of it was that he quit drinking for a couple weeks. I guess grabbing a dinky actually did the kid some good. We never saw Patrick Swayze after that night, but you might want to check out the P-Town bathrooms if your into that stuff.

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What’s It Like Going Out With Jack? (3:00PM EST)Devon
Ever since I started going in the Yahoo Club Chat, every one has asked me what it’s like going out with the owner of this site. All I can really say is that he is like some one I’ve never met before, and I’m so glad to have him in my life.

When me and Jack are just hanging out, the website never really comes up in our conversations. There’s so much more stuff that he’s into that I’m surprised that he even has time to maintain this site. I’m glad he does though, because I like the attention I get from it.

Also some other people ask me, “Is Jack really an asshole in real life?” To that I’d have to answer, yes and no. There are times when he can be a real dork, but there are times when he can be the sweetest person I’ve even known. You just have to catch him when he’s not cranky. If he’s in a bad mood, he’ll rip anyone to shreds, and not think twice about it. I think Jack is like any normal guy….. well maybe he’s not that normal. How many other guys would actually hold a contest to see which girl he should go out with? But deep down he’s looking for the same thing everyone else is… a meaningful relationship.

So how do I feel about having some of the most personal, private, and meaningful things in my life written about on a daily basis? Pretty damn good I’d say. It gives me a chance to look at some of my faults, insecurities, hopes, and dreams, and see how people look at me. I don’t know how long me and Jack will be together, but for as long as I’m a part of this site, I’ll be happy.

So that’s a little about me and how I feel. I’m planning on doing some relationship advice for this site, so if there any questions you’d like answered by a girl, don’t hesitate to email me. I look forward to all emails, and I’ll talk to you later =)

Tuesday January 23, 2001

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Bored as Fucking Hell (10:54PM EST)Jack
I’m watching probably the worst movie of all fucking time. Ever After…. some gay Drew Barrymore movie. It doesn’t look like Drew is going to get naked or anything, but I’ve got to watch it for my English class. So for next couple of hours I’ll be online and stuff while I suffer through this movie. Why don’t you send me an email, or IM me at getnewgirlfriend, I’d love to talk with all of you.

So this night isn’t a total waste I also rented Pitch Black. I’ll probably end falling asleep during that movie so I’ll end up watching it again tomorrow night. I found this site tonight. I had checked it out awhile ago, but never really went through it. I have to say that the review of Nintendo games and shit kept me cracking up for a long time. Check it out if you haven’t already.

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Any Time You Pass on Sex, You’re Cheating on Yourself (7:04PM EST)Jack
What a great first day of classes! The girls are walking around and each day that it gets warmer, there will be less and less clothes…. Shit, I can’t wait for Spring.

Added like 30 Wet T-Shirt pics to the yahoo club. Join up and get involved, we need to take this site to the next level. I want bumper stickers and shit like that. Thanks everyone who sent me in a banner. Ballzdeep and Nine Five Fourhave the top spot today, but why doesn’t everyone try and knock them off.

This is a Thursday Night show being put on by Wide Iris
The Lizard Lounge is located on Mass Ave between Harvard and Porter Squares. Cambridge Mass

Monday January 22, 2001

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People Are Fucking Stupid (11:00PM EST)Jack
Do you want a see just one email out of the 30 I get a day…. This is the shit that clogs up my Inbox.

From: Jeff Samec
Subject: Wann aknow who that girl in the pics is?
You are such a dumb fuck. That girl is named Allision Hannign and she stars in Buffy The Vampire Slayer. If you had half a brain you’d also know that she has never taken chesscake shots such as that and they’re therefore doctored. Are you such a lousy intgernet geek tat you can’t even keep up with “shaggable” babes on TV?Try reviewing your content a little more carefully in the future.


Yes, so this is what I get to look forward to each and every evening. Well, Jeff, thanks for taking the time to email me and basically make yourself look like a fucking idiot. I’m pretty sure these pics were from Maxim or some other magazine, and are totally legit. If some one knows other wise give me an email. Who the fuck says cheesecake shots?? What the fuck does that mean anyways?

So as a favor to me, would everyone email Jeff Samec and tell him what a douche bag he is. I’m really too lazy to do it myself, and I’d appreciate the help. Thanks.

Quick Links: Drinking Hard -Translucent Kingdom – Revolt Web –

– Spin-360 – Mindwarp –

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Hey Maybe I Was Wrong (8:14PM EST) Jack
I got these two pictures in my email box. Yeah, yeah, maybe I was wrong about how hot this chick was. Of course they can make any one look good in pictures and shit, so I’m not totally convinced. What I really need is her standing naked in front of me, then I’ll be able to make a real decision. Until then, she’s only rated so-so in my book. I’m working on making a Shag-o-meter. Basically it will just be a page listing some of the girls who I think are shaggable. If an actress takes her top off in a movie, she goes up the shagmeter. If she starts to gain a little weight, or get a couple of wrinkles, she moves down. Pretty simple and to the point. Any questions?

So what’s new with everyone? Same ole shit going on here going on if you know what I mean. Last night was dedicated to Resident Evil: Code Veronica, one of the best games for the Dreamcast. I was up till like 2 in the morning. I finished the first disc, and tonight will probably be spent finishing the second one. In something totally unrelated. People have been complaining about not being able to log into the yahoo club. If you get an error message saying this is a Restricted Club just log into yahoo and do a search for “Watch Me Strip” in the clubs section. My club should come up and just enter it through it there. I know it’s a pain in the ass, and I probably should have not made it an adult club, but hey it’s keep the little kids out right?

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What a Fucking Day (3:40PM EST)Jack
Today was my last day of vacation, and now it’s back to the daily grind of school. Luckily most of my classes are taken online, therefore limiting the time I actually have to spend on campus. I also finished all of the paperwork for next year, and now I just have to wait for the acceptance papers to come in the mail. If anyone wants to be the benefactor in my college education, send me some money to my PO Box. Cash only please. =)

Added like 50 pics to Yahoo Club. Check it out and post some of your own. I’m still looking for some cool logos for the site, so if you’re a Photoshop whiz and want a free plug send me an email with a cool new graphic. Look for Devon’s first post later on tonight…. Don’t blame me, you mother fuckers voted for her!

Big thanks goes out to Snowsurfer, for making me the site of the moment. I’d like to thank God, my mom….. ahh fuck it. I just wanna thank every girl I’ve gone out with who has dumped me. You’re all the ones who really made this site possible.

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Same Old Shit, Different Day (12:00 AM EST)Jack
Well it’s Monday again and we all know what that means. The news has been shelved and it’s time for a new week of updates. I have a feeling this is going to be very interesting week for everyone involved. I don’t want to spill the beans on the new stuff coming up, but hopefully everything is going to be totally cool. Look at the size of those melons!! Although I love these pictures, I think those titties could crush me if they landed the wrong way! Over on the poll section, it looks like Devon might be posting on this site soon. Jesus Christ! Now we’re going to have to listen to her piss and moan about cramps, shopping, and other girl shit. I told you mother fuckers to vote right……..

So it’s now almost the end of January. And it seems like my life is flying by. Pretty soon I’ll be 40, balding, and trying to pick up my daughters friends. I will be that guy from American Beauty, except that I’ll actually score with them! It’s tough to picture myself as married, but I guess that time of my life is coming up. In a couple of years I’ll be out of school and looking for Miss Right. Think there’s a miss right out there that wants a 20-something year old computer programmer with a kid? If there’s any girls out there who seem to fit that criteria, give me an email.

Sunday January 21, 2001

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Catching a lot of Flack (4:19PM EST)Jack
So a lot of people have been emailing me saying that I fucked up on the review of boys and girls. Everyone thinks that red haired chick is hot or something. To tell you the truth, I just don’t see it. Every movie I’ve seen her in she plays some dork or reject. Like don’t get me wrong, I’d still do her, but she’s not my first choice or anything.

So check out the new poll that I put up. Devon has been chatting with some of the viewers in the club, and now she wants to have posting privileges. Should I let post shit and stuff like that? Or should I not let her have any rights except in the club. You people will decide….. Better make the right fucking choice.

Check out the Sexual Position Gallery. If you’re struggling to find new positions and shit, check this out.

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What The Fuck is This Shit (11:57PM EST)Jack
Earlier I posted that I like the movie American History X. A little after I post that, this guy IMs me.

addrmafter: I saw american history x I wanted to go get a tatoo
sullyd2000: what kind?
adiddrm: I suck at spelling
adiddrm: like the main character had
adiddrm: I watched that movie with a bunch of my redneck freinds
sullyd2000: yeah
adiddrm: that is the way to watch that movie
adiddrm: we went ridding after it looking for some poor nigger to start some shit with
sullyd2000: sounds like fun
adiddrm: yup
adiddrm: I’ve never seen a nigger run so fast in my entire life adiddrm: do you read much
sullyd2000: yeah a lot

This is the fucking problem with America today. We got douche bags like this one who’s IQ is about 10 points less than my dog’s. This fuck head is proud of the fact that he’s a redneck and full on fucking retarded. If you see him online, make sure you tell him to fuck off.

Saturday January 20, 2001

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Come Join Devon In Chat (8:09PM EST)Jack
Go talk to Devon and shit in the Yahoo Club.

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Tigger in a Dress (3:38PM EST)Jack
Some one sent me the link to this site and I was fucking impressed on how hot this chick is. You’ll have to do some searching around, but check out her pics. Maybe if that chick reads this site, she’ll give me permission to post them on this site. Give me an email sexy lady and you’ll become a star.

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Pussy (2:13PM EST) Jack
I bought a bunch of movies last night at Walmart. It’s funny the only way I can fall asleep at night is to either have the TV on or pop in a movie. Since I don’t have cable in my room, I’m limited to three channels and one Puerto Rican station. And my whole movie library consists of Good Will Hunting, True Romance, and American Beauty. There’s only so many times I can watch Matt Damon talk with Robin Williams.

So since Walmart is the king of all discounts I picked up some classic flicks.

This is one of the best movies ever made in my opinion. When I first saw American History X I was fucking blown away. I’ve always been a big Ed Nortan fan and he kicks ass in this movie. He’s my whole inspiration for hitting the gym (which I am starting on Monday) I think he put on like 35 pounds for this movie. Plus he’s banging Carmen Electra now, and I give him major props. Go check out this movie, you wont be disapointed.

I can’t believe that I had never seen this movie until a few weeks ago. I’ve always loved Vietnam and War movies and this one is the best. The first half of the movie shows what it’s like to go through Boot Camp with a psycho marine sergeant. Every day I thank God that I never enlisted. If it weren’t for my girlfriend at the time, your buddy Jack would be one pissed off guy.

Yeah I bought a bunch of other ones and maybe I’ll talk about them later. In the meantime check out the Claire Forlani image gallery.

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garageDogs live! (1:51PM EST)Jack

Jan 25 at the Lizard Lounge OLD SCHOOL SHOW
This is a Thursday Night show being put on by Wide Iris

Check out these sites garageDogs and Live Wave

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Hey, try not to suck any dick on the way through the parking lot! (12:20PM EST) Jack
Holy shit what a morning. I remember like 20 minutes of last night. I started off the night with a couple of Long Island Ice Teas which gave me the good buzz that I needed to have. After the fifth or sixth morgan and coke, the night became one big haze. I miss the college party scene big time. My school it’s tough to find shit to do because it’s all commuters. So me and Devon had to hit up ZooMass, one of the best party schools in western ma. Shit, I can’t wait to go there next year.

Speaking of parties, at the party there I saw a kid with a Stile Project t-shirt. Man I’d love to get some IWANG t-shirts made up, but my design skills are struggling. Maybe some of you cool people that read this page could come up with a design or something. Anything I’d use I’d give you full credit, and a major plug on this site. Just give me an email. I’d be wicked thankfull.

I’m also going to be adding some new cam portals. If you’re a chick, and I stress a CHICK, give me an email with your cam image and the address for your website. Pictures of my name on your tits will only help your chances up being up there. You’ll be worshipped by thousands of teenage boys and if you’re hot maybe I’ll dig you to.

Added some new pics to the yahoo club. There’s some douche bag complaining about how they’re not webcam pics, but that’s not what the club is totally about. It’s just a place to talk about this site and post some pics that you like. If there’s any pics you’d want to send me, feel free. I’m always on the lookup for new and funny shit.

Friday January 19, 2001

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If You Have Half a Brain (1:51AM EST)Jack
You’ll go to this site.

Thursday January 18, 2001

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Fuck Em in the Ear (6:40PM EST)Jack
I’m starting a questions and answer section, so if there’s some really big question you think you need to as the staff, just send it in. Me or one of my staff will answer and post it on the site. This is your chance to get some real sex advice, not the gay advice off the net.

I guess Devon is in the chat room again tonight. Stop in and talk to her and tell her she needs to put out more often. Also check out the new poll and vote. She’s bugging me to find out what the plan is for this weekend, and I’d love to find out myself.

In less exciting news, I watched True Romance last night. I’ve seen it before, but it’s just one movie that never gets old. Watching Patricia Arquette kicking the shit out of Tony Soprano is pretty fucking phat too. All she needs to do know is show some boobies and cooter. Then she’d be on my A list of celebrity stars. Now here’s something you might like.

Boys and Girls: The Movie

Boys and girls tells the love modern day love story in a not so original, but entertaining light. You’ve got your basic good looking people, Claire Forlani, the guy from She’s all That, and the chick from Final Destination. It tells the story about how these two people (we’ll call them hot chick, and lucky bastard from now on) meet, go out, break up, and eventually fall in love. Hot chick and lucky bastard meet as young kids on a place. Hot chick is in the middle of her period and decides that lucky bastard deserves to hear about it. They end up fighting or something and cementing the fact they’ll join the mile high club years down the road…..

We then flash forward a few years and they meet again at a high school football game. Hot chick remembers lucky bastard and invites him out for coffee, but I’m pretty he declines and they go their separate ways.

Flash forward again and our two stars meet again at college. They become buddies, but never date. Time goes on, they fall in love, lucky bastard bangs her, they break up, they get back together…. bla bla bla. We all know the rest.

Everyone knows I have a super hard on for Claire Forlani. She’s super hot, and I bet she’s a little wild girl in the sac. Claire if you’re reading this why don’t you give Jack a call, I’ll make sure you feel alright.
(Note from Devon: If you touch Jack, I’ll make sure you never fuck anything again. End Note)
Although she doesn’t show anything in this movie (although there is a sex scene) she still gets a 9.0. I even watched that gay movie Meet Joe Black because she was in. For some of her earlier stuff check out Mall Rats and a quick little cameo in the Rock. If want to see a lot more of Claire, check out the image gallery. I’ll be adding a bunch of new pictures to that.

Not Hot! No Review for this girl. Look for her in American Pie playing another nasty chick, and she might still be on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Only gets a 1.5

I was to lazy to look for a good picture of this chick, but I was able to steal this one of a website somewhere. She’s wicked hot and kisses Claire Forlani in this movie, which gives her a score of 8.0. Any chick that does a semi-lesbian scene gets an automatic 8.0, unless she’s super butch and fucking Roseanne. I think she was in Final Destination, and she dressed like a hooker in that movie too so it’s all good for her in my book.

So here’s my feeble attempt at reviewing movies. I’m not sure if I even reviewed this one before. But let me know if there’s anything else you’d like to me review, and send me some fucking mail.

Wednesday January 17, 2001

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Is This Cool? (5:31PM EST)Jack
I’m not sure if I like what I’m seeing recently… I was doing my daily stop over at the Campus Rag and was reading what the new poster had to say. It seems like she’s a big fan of the movie Fight Club. Now I don’t jump to conclusions, but unless they have some homo making posts under the name of Veronica, I’m guessing it’s a girl. I don’t know if some girl quoting Fight Club is totally kosher. Fight Club was a movie made for guys, not for girls to like…. Why do they have to take everything away from us? Can’t girls just go back to sewing, cooking, and cleaning up our messes??

I’m not saying that women shouldn’t have rights and all the other shit, but c’mon, quoting Tyler Durden as a way to get a guy to back off you at the bar?! That’s really going to far. I don’t want to start a major war here like I was involved in a couple days ago, but honey if you’re reading…. Try quoting Erin Brockovitch next time. =)

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The Things You Own End Up Owning You (12:12PM EST)Jack
I’ve spent the last couple hours standing in line taking care of college shit. It was there that I realized most people are fucking morons. Now I’ve been in school for a year and half, but I’ve figured out that there are certain things you need to have when you register for classes. One thing would be a valid credit card. This one kid had the lady try it four times before she told him he would need a check. Doesn’t take a brain surgeon to know when you’ve maxed out daddy’s card. Fucking idiot.

Hey, I read your site every day and all, and one of the things I’ve never seen you talk/comment about is STEALING CHICKS. You know, a chick has a b/f, you want to be hers, so you steal that bitch from that guy. What’s the magic that it takes to work to do this?

– SsiK

Check out girlfriend stealer. There’s tons of good advice there, and even some validation from chicks.

All hail cheetos and vodka! Actually, –

vodka + cheetos + 5 glasses of wine = FuCkEd


ps: FuCkEd = Fucked = Drunk = Throwing up on your floor/bed/yourself all at the same time.

Not sure exactly what the fuck this is supposed to mean. But I got it in my email and found it a little humorous. Too bad there were no pictures.


It’s almost 4 a.m. here, and I’m quite sleepy, but once AGAIN, I’ve lost myself in your website heh. I can’t even remember how it was that I stumbled upon you, but I did, and I’m glad for it… Everytime I hit you up, I end up spending a couple of hours reading different stuff. Some of it’s good for laughs (there are apparently alot of dumbasses living in America), but I also like reading about the moments in your life that you choose to share with the rest of us. Plus, whether a woman is “curious” or not, tits are always good to see!! haha… I grew up with a younger brother and all his guy friends, and I was always the only girl around, so this could explain a thing or two about why you’re one of my favorites. Some of my ‘friends’ think your site is a pile of chauvinist crap, but what do they know?! bunch of stupid, clueless bitches… hehe… Anyway, I gotcha on aol i.m. now. I’m on under the nick “kinduism”. You never know, maybe we’ll end up chatting sometime. I’m also sending you a “thank you” for being cool as fuck. It seems you’ve “inspired” me, too… (actually this was something I did awhile back and just happened to still have & figure you would like, heh). If only I’d had a black magic marker and known your name at the time…

Goodnight 😉 Trishka

She sent a picture of her tits and ass, and they’re both pretty nice looking. Maybe I’ll post them tonight. I got this in my email this morning. I love flash shit and anyone who makes something cool like that gets a plug. Check out his site, it’s not finished yet, but when it is I’m sure it’ll be awesome. If you’d like to make something for me, go for it! Just send me pictures, flash, or other cool shit to jack@iwantanewgirlfriend.com

Tuesday January 16, 2001

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Devon is In the Yahoo Chat Room (11:26PM EST)Jack
So why don’t you sign up and say hi to her.

Old News / Forums

I’m Not a Freak of the Day! (6:36PM EST)Jack
Normally if some one posted that I was freak, I’d give out their email address and tell you people to spam the shit out of it. But for some reason I actually liked this site, and don’t mind giving it a little attention. Check it out, and check out his female galleries. BTW Devon is going to be in the yahoo chat room so join up and say hi to her. She’d love to hear from all of you. Just be nice to her and don’t ask to show off her tits. And ladies if you want you can find out if I’m good in bed or not……

Old News / Forums

It’s only Fucking Tuesday (4:42PM EST)Jack
This is the week that wont fucking end. I just wish it was god damn Friday and the weekend was here. Next weeks marks the beginning of school, and the end of any social life. Well, at least it will give me some more content for the site. Speaking of content, check out this girl, she shows off her content rather nicely. There was some other chick that had taken a bunch of pics for other sites, but I forgot the URL. If you’re that girl just give me an email and I’ll link you if you want.

Looks like I’m linkworthy according to some people. It’s nice to know that some people like this site and actually dig what I’m doing. This started off as a one page site and bloomed into what you see today. And it will keep blooming as long as you people keep coming back. I’m glad to see the message boards and the yahoo club finally picking up and I’ll be adding shit to both of those shortly. If there’s any thing you’d like to contribute, just send me an email.

Click Here For Some Funny Ass Shit

So it’s the middle of January, and how many of you stuck to your resolutions? I made like one or two and by the second I had already forgotten about them. Maybe next year I’ll make some I can actually follow, but I’m not really counting on it. That’s like saying I’m going to give up sex because of religious reasons…. It just aint going to happen.

So instead I’m making a new resolution right now. I’m just going to do things that make me happy. No more worrying about what other people will think, do, or say, that doesn’t matter any more. No more bending over backwards for girls that could really care less. There’s a whole new Jack, and I’m striking back now.