Are You “Big Enough” :: I Want a New Girlfriend

It�s Not How Deep You Fish . . . (11:53AM EST) Madame XTC

Jack asked if I�d write a little piece about my thoughts on the age-old question of �Does size really matter?� At first, I thought it was going to be an easy assignment; I was just going to expound on the adage that �It�s not how deep you fish, but how you wiggle the worm�. But I�m sure that you guys have all heard that a million times before so I decided to give you something a little more original . . .

First of all, we need to have a point of reference. Statistics will tell you that the national average penis length is 6 inches, but I say that�s a bunch of shit. I�ve had over 40 sexual partners and only a handful actually had something over the half-foot mark. Maybe it�s just my taste in men, but I�m guessing that the national average is probably closer to 5 than 6. And then there�s girth, which in my opinion means more than length does. But to understand why that is, we first need to take a look at the female anatomy.

It�s important to remember that a vagina is not just this big cavern for you to stick your dick into. It�s a mass of muscle that (when at rest) is completely constricted. Each time a girl has sex, the muscles are �stretched out�, both in the vagina and at the vaginal opening. When a girl has sex often, the vaginal muscles do not return to the completely natural constricted point � they end up staying stretched out a little. So in relation to the size of the penis, the more girth it has, the more it will stretch those muscles.

As time moves on, some of the sensations in the vaginal opening will be lost if the penis size does not increase. That�s just a fact, unfortunately. And it�s not just bad for the women, either . . . it isn�t as stimulating for guys when there isn�t the friction there from having that muscle constricted (Why do you think guys always fantasize about fucking a virgin? Because they know that they will be tight!). So it sucks on both sides of the playing field. The only thing that a girl can do is allow time for those muscle to return to their natural state by not having sex, or to upgrade every once in a while.

The other important part of the female anatomy that receives a significant amount of stimulation during sex is that infamous G-spot. In certain positions, the penetration of the penis allows for the head to press against that point. If your dick is only an inch or two long, you might not be able to reach it. Since the anatomy of each girl is different, I can�t really tell you how deep you have to fish to get there � but no matter how you wiggle that worm, you still might come up short.

So as far as anatomy goes, I�m going to have to say that yes, size does matter. But don�t get discouraged because not everything is about vaginal penetration! In regards to oral sex, having a smaller penis can have its benefits � I once gave a blowjob to a guy and I could fit both his dick and his balls in my mouth at the same time (imagine that!). And, to be honest, you�re more likely to get a girl to consent to anal sex if you�re only 3 inches long instead of 9!

So here’s the long and the short of it: if you’ve got a “smaller-than-average” penis, don’t worry about it! But if you want to be able to play like the big boys, you’re going to have to find ways to compensate for your lack of substance — like learning how to give a girl extraordinary head or finding partners that are willing to let you in the backdoor. Or, you can just look for a girl like me who believes that SOMETHING is always better than NOTHING!

A Slut’s Perspective :: I Want a New Girlfriend

I’m speaking as a slut. So before someone goes, “Hey, you’re a slut!” Um, yeah, I know. Get over it. Anyway, I’d like to put an end to some incorrect rumors.

Myth: Sluts have no respect for themselves.
Fact: I have plenty of respect for myself. I have sex with multiple partners because I enjoy sex, and I don’t like being tied down to one guy for too long. I enjoy my freedom. I’m sure this will change at some point. My biological clock will start ticking, and I’ll start thinking more about the future. At some point, I will start thinking more seriously about wanting to spend my life with someone. But for now, I’m young and enjoying myself. And I’d have to say that I have a lot more respect for myself than the girls who stay chaste simply because they’re afraid of being labeled by men. I have enough respect for myself to accept and embrace my needs.

Myth: All sluts are crawling with disease.
Fact: While many sluts probably are crawling with disease, those of us with any intelligence whatsoever are really careful. I have NO STDs. I always use a condom for sex and blow jobs, and I always use a dental dam when a guy’s going down on me. I’m also on the pill. I get tested often, and I can safely say that I have never contracted an STD.

Myth: A slut will fuck anyone. Especially you.
Fact: I can get just about any guy I want. That means that I can and do have high standards. If I fucked every guy who wanted me, I’d have no time for work, school, eating, or sleep. Even if I had sex 24 hours a day, seven days a week, I still wouldn’t be able to fulfill all the guys who want me. So, as you can see, I won’t fuck you just because you have a penis. My standards are too high for that.

Myth: Anyone who doesn’t want to be a woman from the 50’s who gets off doing laundry and making dinner and being a slave for her big strong husband hates men and is a lesbian.
Fact: Obviously I don’t hate men. If I hated men, I wouldn’t fuck them. The last time I checked, slavery was abolished in 1865 with the 13th Amendment. While many women are content to spend their lives cooking and cleaning, I’m not. That doesn’t mean that I don’t respect these women for being able to live in their lifestyle, and I certainly don’t think less of them for it, it’s not the lifestyle I would choose for myself, or one I could tolerate. And I will NEVER get myself into a relationship where the man is in charge and I’m just along for the ride. Nor will I get myself into a relationship where my man has no balls and smiles meekly at everything I say. When I find the man who I can settle down with, we will have an equal relationship. I don’t want a tyrant or a push-over. I want a man.

Myth: Any woman who wants a man to treat her like a woman instead of like shit is a needy bitch who is just after the man’s money.
Fact: How would you feel if your date showed up with dirty, baggy clothes on, smelled from not having showered for too long, ate with her hands, and talked about herself the entire night? You probably wouldn’t want to go on a second date. We put in effort to look our best on dates. We put in effort to make the guy feel special. In return, we expect to be treated decently. Trust me, if you act like a gentleman, your chance of getting that second date increases exponentially. It’s not that we’re needy, it’s just that we like to feel appreciated, just like everyone else.

Myth: Sluts are just trying to steal my man.
Fact: I am not a homewrecker. I think it’s horrible when girls go out of their way to get a guy just because he’s married. I mentioned earlier that I could get just about any guy I wanted. I don’t want any man who has a significant other. I’m just not interested.

Myth: Women are all whores, men are all bastards.
Fact: There are plenty of non-whores out there for you non-bastards.

Myth: No man will ever want a serious relationship with me or any other slut.
Fact: I have been in serious relationships before. What I realized was that I wasn’t ready for that kind of commitment. There are men now who want a relationship with me, but I’m honest with them and tell them that a serious commitment is not what I want at this time in my life.

Myth: Deep down, every lesbian wants dick.
Fact: Deep down, every lesbian wants pussy. If they didn’t, they wouldn’t be lesbian. That’s sort of the definition of a lesbian; wanting to fuck women instead of guys. If she wants dick, then she’s bi; not lesbian.

Myth: ALL women want to see naked women.
Fact: Maybe in your fantasies, all women love hanging out naked, but in reality, I’d rather not. No offense to other women. I’m sure you have great bodies, but I’m just not really interested. Thanks all the same.

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