– Friday May 23 – 2003 :: I Want a New Girlfriend

How to Get a Threesome (5:00PM EST) Jack

Here’sa pretty good guide to getting yourself a threesome. Hopefully we’ll see somemore articles from this guy.

Threesomes, when we hear the word we instantly think of the last porno we saw, and how much fun it looks to have two girls. Sadly many people think this is an unattainable goal in life and therefore don’t pursue it. I however decided to go for it, and what do you know, I had a threesome the first weekend I tried for one. I’m not a pimp or a player; I’m also not the most handsome guy in the world. I’m just an average Joe who is confident. I’m writing to not share my personal experiences, but more to offer general advice for fellow threesome seekers out there.

Step 1) Make friends with girls who love sex. While this step may seem like a basic thing for some, other it may seem incredibly difficult. My best advice is to be social and outgoing and just talk about sex to girls a lot. Eventually you’ll meet a few who want to have sex with you.
Step 2) Get one girl into the idea. The common mistake most guys make when seeking a threesome is they try to talk two girls into at once. While this may work if the girls are good friends or bi-sexual lesbian partners, in general this is makes having a threesome a lot harder. The easiest way is by far to get one girl interested at a time. The best way to do this is just too casually bring it up in a conversation about sex with a friend. “You ever want to have a threesome?” In my opinion, this is actually the best line to find out if they’re interested. A side note on picking the girl, I have never done this with a girlfriend, and I find many people are uncomfortable having sex with two people in love. It is much easier to actually have two girls if both the girls are just friends of yours or even just people you know like sex.
Step 3) Together bring the third party in. Here lies the tricky part. So you have a nice girl lined up to fuck you and who is willing to have a threesome, good for you. Now together you have to convince a third person to engage in the mighty act. I found the best method is to find a girl who is willing to have a threesome, or just likes sex and entice them into the threesome. For instance, invite both girls out to hang out with you. One of them knows they are looking for a threesome and the other is oblivious. After spending some time bonding as friends invite them both over to your place and if they both agree you’ve completed the hardest step.
Step 4) Lets have sex! Okay you have to hopefully good looking women in your house, but how does one engage in the actual threesome itself? I find the best method honestly is to lighten the mood with a game like strip poker. This may seem corny but most girls will be game and it gets everyone naked comfortably. The next step is to invite the girls either to your bedroom or to take a shower. Once you get them into the bed or shower the world is your stage.
Step 5) Enjoy yourself! The key to enjoying threesome sex is to not take it seriously. You’re not “making love” to your girlfriend or wife, you’re fucking two girls. Crack jokes, fool around, toss pillows, do whatever you want! Whenever I’ve had threesome the mood was always so uplifting and happy and that is part of their charm. If you’re not enjoying it then you’re doing something wrong.

Well that concludes my guide to having sex with two women. I swear if you can talk to women then you can have sex with two of them. I had my first threesome using this method when I was 17 years old, and found that all that matters is the social skills. It of course helps to be good looking and well built, but hey it still works for me. Good luck and happy fucking.

Vacation Time! (12:00PM EST) Jack
In just a few short hours I’ll be leaving to go camping for the weekend.I’ve got a cabin the the woods, and it’s full of beers, burgers, and babes. It’sgoing to be one long weekend drinking of until I can’t stand, smoking till Ican’t breathe, and making the sex like it’s going out of style. It’s to bad thatthe weather isn’t going to be nicer, but the place does have a heated pool so Iguess that’s a bonus.�

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It’s going to be nice to take a little breakfrom computers, cell phones, and internet porn for a few days. This is like myfirst vacation since I took off to Florida with Wondergirllast year. I hope you people all have a great Memorial Day, and don’t get bombedor anything. I’ll be out in the middle of fucking nowhere, so I’m pretty sureI’m safe.

Here’s a story from one of the local newspapersin the are.

Suspect shot by police dies�
May 23, 2003

A man shot by police after leading them on a car chase through two towns, and ending at a Monson stripclub, has died.Mark Merrill, 36, died of gunshot wounds lateWednesday night at Baystate Medical Center.Merrillwas reportedly shot three times, in the foot, chest and head, by Monson Police Sergeant Robert Shumaker.It startedearlier Wednesday when Merrill was pulled over in a routine traffic stop. Merrill reportedly threatened a Monson officer with a large knife and then tookoff.

His car was then found behind the Magic Lanternon route 20.Inside, Shumaker reportedlyapproached Merrill, who threatened the sergeant with a large barbeque fork. NEWS40 has also learned that Merrill’s ex-wife isa former Monson police officer.

See this is how bad the cops are in this area.First the kid has a large knife, and is able to somehow get away from the copsin Monson. Then traveling through the back roads of a couple of hick towns,leads the cops to one of the worst strip clubs you’ve ever had the displeasureof not seeing. Then after holding a FORK the cops shoot him THREE times!! Arethey so retarded that they could not somehow get the FORK away from this kid???I have nothing against police, but there is going to be a serious lawsuitagainst these chuckleheads. Next time you guys feel like shooting some one, makesure they’re holding something more than a utensil!!

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Monday April 21 – 2003 :: I Want a New Girlfriend

Perfection (12:00AM EST) Jack
Today was a fucking perfect spring day!! I got a shitload of sun, and got a ton of stuff accomplished. It started off with watching the canoe races up in the mountains and ended with me kicking some serious ass in Volleyball. I only hope that the summer was just as nice as today. I hope most of you peeps got out their and were able to check out the ladies in the short shorts.

Looking for more girls taking on their first huge cocks??
Click here for a TON more pictures!!

The party of the first part (herein referred to as she/her) being ofsound mind and fairly good body, agrees to the following with the party ofthe second part (herein referred to as he/him).

1. FULL DISCLOSURE: At the commencement of said relationship(colloquially referred to as the first date or match up), each party agreesto fully disclose any current girl/boyfriends, dependent children, bizarrereligious beliefs, phobias, fears, social diseases, strange politicalaffiliations, or currently active relationships with anyone else that havenot yet been terminated. Further each party agrees to make known anydeep-seated mother/father/brother/sister complexes and fanatical obsessionswith pets, careers, or organized sports. Failure to make these disclosureswill result in the immediate termination of said relationship before ithas a chance to get anywhere.

2. INDEMNIFICATION OF FRIENDS: Both parties agree to hold the person whoarranged the liaison (colloquially referred to as the “matchmaker”)blameless in the event the “fix-up” turns out to be a “real loser” or”psycho bitch”. (For definition of “real loser”, see “John DeLorean: MyStory”, available at most bookstores; George Hamilton at one of ImeldaMarcos’ parties; or any picture of Bob Guccione in Penthouse. For definition of “psycho bitch,” see Sharon Stone in “Basic Instinct,” or Glenn Close in “Fatal Attraction.”)

3. DEFINITION OF RELATIONSHIP: Should said relationship proceed past the first “fix-up” both parties mutually agree to use the following terminology in describing their said “dating”: For the first thirty (30) days both parties consent to say they are “going out”. (This neither implies nor states any guarantee of exclusivity.) Following the first thirty (30) days said parties may say they are “seeing somebody” and may be referred to by third parties as “an item”. Sixty (60) days following the commencement of the “first date” either member may elect to use the terms “girl/boyfriend” or lover” and their mutual acquaintances may refer to them as “a couple”. Under no circumstances are the phrases “my better half,” “the little woman,” “the old ball and chain,” or “my old man/lady” acceptable. Further, if both members of the party consent, this timetable may be accelerated; however, if either party “gets too serious” and disregards this schedule, the other party may dissolve the relationship on the grounds of “moving too fast” and may once again be said to be “on the market.”

4. TERMS OF EXCLUSIVITY: For the first thirty (30) days both parties agree not to ask questions about the others whereabouts on weekends, weeknights, or over long holiday periods. No unreasonable demands or expectations will be made; both parties agree they have no “rights” or “holds” on the other’s time. Following the first six weeks or forty-five (45) days, if one party continues to be “missing in action” without explanation, the “wounded party” agrees to “give up”.

5. DATING ETIQUETTE: For the first thirty (30) days both members of the couple agree to be overly considerate of the other’s work pressures, schedules, and business ambitions. A minimum of three (3) phone calls will be made between the two parties during the working day, and each party will attempt – with best efforts – to originate 50% of the phone calls. Additionally, for the first two weeks all dates will be made at least twenty-four (24) hours in advance; there will be no “running off in the middle of the night” to console an old girl/boyfriend”, and both parties agree to strike the phrase “but he/she needs me” from their vocabulary. Further, during the first six (6) weeks each member of said relationship agrees to attempt at least one spontaneous “home cooked meal” and will arrange the delivery of at least one unexpected bouquet of flowers. Following the first forty-five (45) days both parties will return to their normal personalities.

6. TERMS OF PAYMENT: It is agreed that – respective gross income aside – “he” will pick up the tab at all dinners, clubs, theaters, and breakfasts until:
(a) He considers her suitably impressed
(b) we are broke or
(c) He says, “this is ridiculous, you pay!”. Not included in this agreement are meals ordered from the bedroom, which are subject to the availability of discretionary funds on hand at the time.

7. LIVING ARRANGEMENTS (occasionally known as the “Why do I bother to keep my own apartment?” codicil): Should said relationship progress to the point where the couple spends more then five nights a week together, every effort shall be made to split the time between their respective apartments. Further, it is agreed that both sides will attempt to silence the lewd remarks of landlords, or roommates. Additionally, both will avoid having their mother call at 7:30 in the morning. He agrees to “pick up after himself” while in residence at her apartment, including washing his whiskers out of the sink, and assisting with household duties. (By the same token, she agrees to respect his right to keep his apartment “a mess”.) (Especially since we tend to excel in this area!)

8. THE 90 DAY GRACE PERIOD: For the first three months, each member of the couple agrees to hold the other blameless in the euphoric use of phrases like “Let’s move in together,” “Why don’t we start a family?” and — using archaic terminology — “Let’s get married.” Additionally, each party agrees to love, cherish, honor, and defend the other party’s right not to meet his parents.

9. THE “L” WORD: For the first sixty (60) days both parties agree not to use the phrase “I love you.” They may love plants, dogs, cats, cars, concerts, or the way a particular pair of jeans fits, but not each other. Failure by one party to abide by this rule will result in the other party using the “G” word . . . “Gone.”

10. GROUNDS FOR TERMINATION: Any of the following will be grounds for immediate termination and final dissolution of said relationship:
(a) Excessive use of chatty French phrases;
(b) Ending any argument with the sentence “My ex- used to do that same thing”;
(c) Suggesting – no matter how kindly – that the other member should seek “help”;
(d) ending any argument with the phrase “My analyst thinks you are…”; and
(e) complaining more than twice about the contents of the other party’s refrigerator (or lack thereof) .

11. DECLARATION OF STRENGTH: At the time of breakup each party reserves the right to make the other feel guilty by using one or all of the following phrases:
(a) “You’ll never find anybody better”;
(b) “Nobody could ever make you happy”;
(c) “I’ll find somebody who can really appreciate me”; and
(d) “My analyst thinks you are .. . .” (Psychosis to be filled in at the proper time.)

(a) Each party agrees to give the other at least five minutes’ notice before terminating said relationship;
(b) both parties agree to remain exclusive until such time as the relationship appear to be “on the rocks”;
(c) at the termination of said affair:
(1) both parties agree to be mature and return compiled socks, sweatshirts, books, record albums, door keys, personal undergarments with all due haste through impartial intermediary;
(2) each party agrees to wait at least seventy-two (72) hours before engaging in sex with any of the other’s friends;
(3) both parties agree to refrain from slandering the other for a period of at least seven days (bedroom performance included), and further consent to use one of the following nebulous terms in the description of the breakup: “The timing wasn’t right”; “He/She wanted more than I could give”; “He/She was too involved in his/her career”; “He/She decided to go back with his/her
(a) girl/boyfriend;
(b) last lover;
(c) hometown;
(d) therapist”.
13. ADDENDUM: After the initial breakup – no matter what – both parties agree to give the relationship “one more shot”.

After reading all of that, I guess you deserve some PORNO. Here’s some nice Lesbian Videos for to kick back and watch….

-Lesbo #1 -Lesbo #2 -Lesbo #3 -Lesbo #4 -Lesbo #5 -Lesbo #6 –

Well I guess that’s all for tonight… Here’s some random links for you to check out.

Why is Mike Is In Brazil? To Fuck Hot Brazilian Babes :: I Want a New Girlfriend

Why is Mike in Brazil? As if life wasn’t unfair enough, it turns out that Mike from Mike’s Apartment got bored and decided to uproot from Europe and head over to check out the honeys in Brazil. If you haven’t had personal experience with women from Brazil, then I have to say that you don’t know what you are missing. The women of Brazil are some of the most beautiful you’ll see anywhere. They have perfect brown skin, dark, tan tits, and fat round asses. Mike hooks up with these Brazilian beauties and fucks them right on the beach. It’s un-fucking-believable. If you get the chance, make sure to check out MikeInBrazil.com. I’ve included a few free preview galleries here on IWANGF. Just click the different pics on the box below, and enjoy your free Mike In Brazil galleries.