– Thursday July 17 – 2003 :: I Want a New Girlfriend

Longest Update Ever (12:00AM EST) Jack
Since I’m only doing one update per week now, I figure I might as wellmake them HUGE updates so you don’t go through Porn withdrawals while I’m outfucking future Porn stars. I’m increasing the Porno by over 100% and that shouldkeep you satisfied until I decide to power up the computer and post the finestbabes on the internet. You guys are lucky that I’m nice enough to weed throughthe skanks, whores, and crusty broads so you don’t have to.

It’s been a busy week for me, and as the summer starts to draw to a closeit’s only going to get busier. I’ve got school starting up in the fall and methe woman are going to be starting our own business. It’s actually going to belegitimate, and not involved in the XXX. I’m wicked lucky that I found such asmart chick, otherwise I’d be living in my crappy apartment building until mypubes started turning gray. Maybe if we strike it big, I’ll finally buy a newbed and get rid of the squeaky futon I’ve got now. I know the people underneathmy room would really appreciate that.

So I got a lot of emails about me getting my girl to participate in athreesome. Most of them went something like this..

“Dude! How did you get your girlfriend to go down on another girl?!Tell me your secret!”

“Hey man, that’s awesome you scored another girl, now how can iconvince my girlfriend to do the same?”

“How can I get my cousin to join in with me and my niece?”Joe Bob Alabama, USA

Since I’m such a nice guy, and I love all you IWANG readers so much, I’llpost my detailed guide to fucking another girl while your girlfriend watches and/ or participates. It’s just a few simple steps so read carefully.

1. Now you probably know your girlfriend better than me (unless I picked herup at a bar some night) so if she’s more on the prudish side you’re better offjust dumping her and picking up some whore you can meet off the internet. Signsthat your girlfriend is prude… She doesn’t let you blow a load on her face,she doesn’t swallow, or she doesn’t even go down on you. These are all signsthat your girlfriend is a prude, and will not be to keen on having another pussygrinding in her face. If you’re actually with this type of girl for more than amonth, you’re a fuckwad and probably should not be reading this site anyways.

2. Now that we’ve weeded out all the pussy-whipped chuckleheads it’s time toget down to business. Instead of telling your girlfriend that you “want tofuck two girls at the same time” why don’t you start out with somethinglike “damn woman you’d look mighty fine making out with another girl!”This is best said with a black accent and a Barry White type voice. If you can’tdo that, than just try and sound as cool as fucking possible. If your girlfriendis down for the idea, she’ll say something like “Really? I’ve alwayswondered what another girls’ pussy juice would taste like. When can westart?!” You probably wont be so lucky, but keep dropping hints and judgeher reaction. By the end of the week you should going out to dinner and lookingfor prospective girls to join in.

3. Remember your girlfriend is going to have the final say on the girl, somake sure you pick out girls that aren’t Porn star hot. If your girlfriendstarts to feel threatened she’s not going to be opening her legs for anythingexcept the jaws of life. Keep your picks in your range and everything should gosmoothly. By my calculations 99% of girls are lesbians in waiting so you shouldhave no problem finding a girl that will want to fuck both of you.

4. Now after the threesome you’re going to be feeling awesome, and you’regirlfriend might be feeling… Well who the fuck cares how she’s feeling? Youjust banged two chicks at the same time and didn’t even have to be sneaky aboutit! But there are some bad things that could happen so here’s a quick rundown ofthe potential cons.

a. You Get Left Behind – It may happen that the twogirls are having such a great time that they forget all about you and yourlittle pecker. To remedy this situation just knock one of them out and give theother one a healthy dose of the anal. She’ll respect your penis now!

b. You Lose All Respect – This actually happens alot. As guys we want to fuck whores and marry virgins. So when our girlfriendsdo something “naughty” we lose all respect for the girl. It’s no bigdeal though, there’s plenty of other girls we can fuck while she gains thatrespect back.

c. She Gets Jealous – Maybe your girlfriend thinksyou spent a little too much time with the other girl, or maybe the other girlsgives better head, either way girls get jealous and it never shocks me how manytimes the girlfriend will regret the whole thing. Nothing you can really doabout this except give her a smack and tell her to run along.

d. The Relationship Ends – She may realize thatshe’s not the right type of girl for you, and decide to leave. Awwww.. boofucking hoo!

Holy shit that was a lot of typing… If you actually read though that wholething you deserve some good old fashioned Porno! Get your tissues ready, causehere it comes!

Tons morefree porno right here!

Ohh man my buddy hooked me up bigtime with this party. He knew all these girls from some modeling shoot weregoing to be at the club and he said I had to come by. I loaded up the cars andhit it hard…rolling deep and going straight to the vip like we always do. Thebeats were pumpin and the girls were off the chain. They were partying it upordering Dom and Grey Goose like it is water. They were all over each other inthe vip and everyone was going crazy. Tits flashing, licking nipple, upskirtflashes, kissing..it was off the meter. These girls wanted each other real bad.Once they got a little comfortable things really started to get interesting.There was so much pussy eating that i thought i was at a Chinese restaurant.They were even tonguing each others assholes which is something really specialif you have never seen that before. The night just was off the hizzo and youjust have to watch the video clip to see what i mean!

Wayback MachinePrevious captureNext captureloading

A guy goes to the pharmacist andsays, “Listen, these two girls are coming over this weekend, and they arehot, very hot. Would you have something to get me going all night? It’s going tobe a hell of a party.”
The pharmacist goes in the back room, comes back with an old dusty bottle andsays, “This stuff is potent: drink only one ounce of it, and I guaranteethat you will be doing the wild thing all night. Let me know how it goes.”
The weekend goes by and on Monday morning, the pharmacist goes to work and findsthe same guy waiting for him on the door-step. The pharmacist says, “Whatare you doing here so early? How was your weekend?” The guy replies,”Quick, I need Blue Ice” (muscle pain relief).
The pharmacist, knowing what the guy had been doing all weekend, says, “Areyou crazy, you can’t put that on your penis. The skin is way toosensitive.”
The guy says, “No, no, It’s not for that, it’s for my arm.”
Pharmacist: “What? What happened?”
Guy replies, “Well…I drank the whole bottle of your potion.”
Pharmacist: “Oh my god, and then what?”
“The girls never showed up!”

I Want A New Girlfriend.com

Sometimes I like a broad withsmall little boobies, cause you know more than a handful is a waste. This girlshas some tiny titties, but the rest of her is fucking perfect!

A new teacher was giving an assignment to herclass one day. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on thechalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the male students. Shequickly turned and asked, “What’s so funny Pat?”
“Well teacher, I just saw one of your garters.”
“Get out of my classroom,” she yells, “I don’t want to see youfor three days.”
The teacher turns back to the chalkboard. Realizing she had forgotten to titlethe assignment; she reaches to the very top of the chalkboard. Suddenly there isan even louder giggle from another male student. She quickly turns and asks,”What’s so funny, Billy?”
“Well teacher, I just saw both of your garters.”
Again she yells, “Get out of my classroom!” This time the punishmentis more severe, “I don’t want to see you for three weeks.”
Embarrassed, she drops the eraser when she turns around, so she bends over topick it up. This time there is an all out belly laugh from another male student.She quickly turns to see Little Johnny leaving the classroom.
“Where do you think you are going?” she asks.
“Well teacher, from what I just saw, my school days are over.”

I STARTED THIS SEARCHlookin for some new glassware and getting some wraps when this cuttie comes upfrom behind the counter. she was totally cool and was joking with me for awhile.i could see that she was kinda liberal so i just busted out the question of someaction for loot like nothing. at first she said no way for the amount of money ioffered. so what did i do? offer more money and get my groove on!

CLICKRIGHT HERE TO WATCH THE WHOLE THING!

As much as I love the young girlswith the tight pussies, there is just something wicked hot about a mom. Everyonehas met a MILF in there life, but this right one right here is the hottest I’veever seen!

Moreof the hottest moms right here!!!

This blonde chick right loves tosuck and fuck all night long! Check out these exclusive pictures for the fullfucking package!

Here’s some sites that I reallylike!

– Ernie’sHouse of XXX – Orsm’sXXX Page – FreeXXX Movies – MyFuckin Wife – TuckerMax

Haveyou signed up for the IWANG forums yet? If not you’re missing out on 1000’s ofpictures that never make it to the front page! Check it out, you wont bedisapointed!

Are These Broads Hot or Not??

Sometimes when I’m bored I’ll hopon Hot or Not and check and see if any girls want to meet me. Since I’m one hotmother fucker I get a lot of replies, but most of them are from farm animals..Here’s just a small sample of the pigs that want to fuck me.

Can’tReally Tell – I can’t really be sure if this girl is hot or not, butI’ll take my chances and say not. I did get to talk with her and this was ourAOL conversation.

iwangworld: so youwant to get together when you’re in Amherst?
astarisfalling9: sure
iwangworld: awesome
iwangworld: you fuck on a first date?
astarisfalling9: haha funny
astarisfalling9: later
iwangworld: haha
iwangworld: cunt

FatAss – Half of this girls’ picture is cut off which can only make meassume that she has a fatter ass than a really fat chick. She’s also coveringhalf her face… Hmm I’d have to give her a big fat not.

WhoreGirl – Now this is my type of girl! Skin tight shirt, nice tits, and anawesome fuck me face! Of course she lives like 2 hours away from me so thechances of my manhood finding her holiest of holies is slim to none. Maybe I canget her to strip on cam though.

PhotoshoppedTits – For some reason this girls tits are photoshopped out. It’sprobably because the Hot or Not mods are keeping the site work safe, but I’dlike to think it’s because she has some sort of rash on her tits which make anyone nauseous if they see them. Yes I do have a very fucked up mind.

FuckingUgly – The title says it all.

Dyke- This picture just screams DYKE.

Here’s a set with one of the mostbeautiful girls I’ve ever seen! Just check out these pictures cause you’ll knowexactly what I’m talking about!

– Perfection – Perfection – Perfection – Perfection – Perfection –

– Perfection – Perfection – Perfection – Perfection – Perfection –

– Perfection – Perfection – Perfection – Perfection – Perfection –

A beautiful, voluptuous woman goesto see a gynecologist. The doctor takes one good look at this woman and hisprofessionalism is a thing of the past. Right away he tells her to undress.After she has disrobed he begins to stroke her thigh.
As he does he says to the woman: “Do you know what I’m doing ?”
“Yes,” she says, “you’re checking for any abrasions ordermatological abnormalities.”
“Correct,” says the doctor.
He then begins to fondle her breasts. “Do you know what I’m doingnow”, he says.
“Yes,” says the woman, “you’re checking for any lumps or breastcancer.”
“That’s right,” replies the doctor. He then gradually proceeds tohaving sexual intercourse with her. “Do you know,” he pants “whatI’m doing now?”
“Yes,” she says. “You’re getting herpes.”

Well, that’s all for thispost… Don’t forget to sendme some emails, instantmessages, and checkout my wishlist!! I’m off to go watch ‘May’ and hopefully fuck the girldownstairs! Have fun, and always double wrap it when you’re with a whore!!!