Wednesday May 28 – 2003 :: I Want a New Girlfriend

I’m Bored (11:00AM EST) Jack
Well, after an awesome three days in the wilderness it’s back to realityfor your buddy Jack. I had an awesome time camping if you care (which you don’t)but thanks for asking. It was really tough leaving my cabin, not only because Iwas so hung over that I couldn’t walk, but because it was just a good time. Igot to fish, grill, look at some rednecks, and basically get laid a lot. Ifyou’ve never been camping it’s something I highly recommend.

But since I’m back in civilization I guess it’s time to get some pornoflowing on the site. Here’s a small sample of girlswho like to party in the vip. Check out the pics, I’m sure you’re goingto be just as impressed as I am.

Before Imet Monica, it was tough for me to go out and get laid. That was until I signedup for my personals service. There’s girls who want to just have random sex,have relationships, or whip you until your ass is raw. I tell you, there’s agirl for every one there. Check it out, you wont be disappointed!

Random Sites

Out of a lack of anything better to do, I went to see the Matrixagain last night. Going and seeing it again totally makes me like this movieeven more. I seriously can’t wait until the third one comes out, and luckilyit’s only 5 short months away.

I have to ask.. isa site like this really neccessary? Is there really a demand for afucking retarded doll? I can understand having black dolls and fat dolls, butdoes a retarded kid really need to have a doll with droopy eyes? I know I’mgoing to hell for doing this, but if you’re retarded I think a paper bag wouldmake a nice toy, or even a plastic bag…

I’m working on a bigger update, so check back in an hour or two.

– Saturday April 26 – 2003 :: I Want a New Girlfriend

End of the Semester (5:00PM EST) Jack
Well it’s finally the end of the semester and your good buddy Jack needsa little help. Finals are just around the corner and I need some quick answersfor the last couple of problems of the year. If you’re good at either FiniteCalculus, or C++ programming throwme over an email and maybe we can talk a little shop. I’d be willing topay some good green if any one is interested in making a little cash for doingsome simple stuff.

It’s a crappy day out today and that gives me the opportunity to get somework done on the site. I’ve redone the the Archives, added some new galleriesand basically just expanded everything. This is just the beginning, because thissummer I’m taking IWANG up a notch so be ready for more porn and everything elsethat you love about the site.

A sweet little girl runs out to the backyardwhere her father is working and asks him, “Daddy, what’s sex?”

So, her father sits her down and tells her allabout the birds and the bees. He tells her about conception, sexual intercourse,sperms and eggs. He tells her about puberty, menstruation, erections andwet-dreams. Then he thinks, what the hell, and goes on to tell her the wholeworks, thinking that to tell it all is the only way to tell the truth.

The girl is quite awestruck with this suddeninflux of bizarre new knowledge. Her father finally asks, “So what made youwish to know about sex?”

“Oh, mommy said lunch would be ready in acouple of secs…”

There are three blondes stranded on an island.Suddenly a fairy appears and offers to grant each one of them one wish. Thefirst blonde asks to be intelligent. Instantly, she is turned into a brownhaired woman and she swims off the island.

The next one asks to be even more intelligentthan the previous one, so instantly she is turned into a black haired woman. Theblack haired woman builds a boat and sails off the island.

The third blonde asks to become even moreintelligent than the previous two. The fairy turns her into a man, and he walksacross the bridge.

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A man and his grandson are fishing by apeaceful lake beneath some weeping willow trees. The man takes out a cigaretteand lights it.
His grandson says, “Grandpa, Can I try some of your cigarette?”

“Can you touch your asshole with yourpenis?” he says.
“No,” says the little boy.
“Then you’re not big enough.”

A few more minutes pass, and the man takes abeer our of his cooler and opens it.
The little boy says, “Grandpa, can I have some of your beer?”
“Can you touch your asshole with your penis?”, he says.
“No,” says the little boy.
“Then you’re not old enough.”
Time passes and they continue to fish. The little boy gets hungry and he reachesinto his lunch box, takes out a bag of cookies and eats one.
The grandfather looks at him and says, “Hey they look good. Can I have oneof your cookies?”

“Can you touch your asshole with yourpenis?” says the little boy.
“I most certainly can!” says the grandfather.
“Then go fuck yourself,” says the boy, “These are mycookies!”

Tuesday April 22 – 2003 :: I Want a New Girlfriend

The Shady Lady (7:00PM EST) Jack
You’re friendly neighborhood porn maestro is back and ready to post more pictures and videos than your dick can handle. Before we get to all that fun stuff here’s a little bit about what’s going on with me. The semester is almost over and it’ll be nice to have a little break from the books. That’ll give me a little more time to hang out with the lady and work on the site. I’m hoping that most of my free time will be spent by the pool and not in front of the computer. It better be a fucking great summer after the shitty winter we had this year.

My one year anniversary is coming up, and I need some ideas on what I can do for the lady. We’re already going away for Memorial Day so I earned some bonus points there. But I need something good to do for the actual night. We’ll probably end up going to her favorite restaurant (McDonalds) and taking her back to my place for a minute of some good sex. She loves it… trust me.

One great thing about Spring is when all the hot college girls go south to party for one full week. Luckily some buddies of mine where there caught them all on tape. Here’s just a little taste of what they captured after the girls had just a tiny amount of alcohol.

Girls Get Crazy For You Right Here!!

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