– Saturday April 19 – 2003 :: I Want a New Girlfriend

Boooooored (12:00PM EST) Jack
The woman just took off for class so I guess it’s time for a small update. I’ve thrown in Stealing Harvard with Jason Lee, it kinda sucks so it’s just another reason to write something for the site. It looks like it might actually be a decent day out today so I hope you’re not all stuck inside like me.

Last night we were going to see Phone Booth, but instead we just got pretty drunk and partied like rock stars. It’s good times I tell you. I’ll be hurting tonight, but for right now I feel alright.

Some buddies of mine have been traveling across Europe and they’ve been sending me pictures of the chicks that they bang. I swear I’m missing out by living in Western Mass. Oh well, I guess I’ll just live vicariously through them…..

Click here for tons more pictures!!!

The Laws of Love and Dating

  1. If you meet a woman, and you like her, then she… has a jealous boyfriend 6’4″ 280 pounds is a confirmed lesbian only wants to be friends doesn’t notice you’re even alive
  2. About who tries to pick you up; if you’re: heterosexual, then homosexuals will try homosexual, then heterosexuals will try bi-sexual, then, no one will try with someone special, everyone will try
  3. About finding love; if you: hope you found it, you’ll be disappointed think you found it, you’re wrong believe you found it, you’re misinformed have found it, you won’t know until too late
  4. About winning/losing; if you: don’t have anything to lose, you won’t win have something to lose, you’ll lose it do win, it’s only so you can lose more later
  5. If she appears to be having a good time, it’s because: she’s fanaticizing, and not of you, either she’s been eyeing-up someone else she’s trying to make someone jealous
  6. About dating, if she: arrives with a man, it’s the boyfriend she never told you about, and he has a few “questions” for ya arrives with her girlfriend, it’s because she wants some protection, not for anything kinky comes alone, it’s because she looks at you as a friend; there isn’t a chance you’ll ever be more either

Here’s a fun little trick to play on your friends. Have them say silk three times in the row and then ask then what a cow drinks. Most people (because they are retarded) will say milk. Of course all us smart people will say water, because cows give milk, not drink it. See how many people you can prove your advanced intellect too.

Monday June 16 – 2003 :: I Want a New Girlfriend

I Need To Learn How To Play Golf (9:00PM EST) Jack
Click on the picture for a larger and much better picture of the streaker fromthe 103rd U.S. Open championship. It’s too bad computer dorks like myself neverget treated to girls running up to me half naked. Someday the beautiful women ofthe world will look at me and feel the need to strip, get down on their knees,and give me good head. Until that day I guess I’ll just have to be satisfiedwith Monica, and yes, she does give excellent head.

I was kind of hoping that this weekend would never end. I had an awesome timeat the Red Sox game, thanks for asking. We had great seats, the sun was shining,and the game lasted 14 innings. It sucks when they stop serving booze in theseventh, but hey what can ya do. I got to see a couple of fights in thebleachers, and the Red Sox won so all was good that day.

Like intheVIP girls?Check out this site for the hottest club girls on the net. I snapped thesepictures right down the street so you know they’re legit!

As much as I’m looking forward to summer, I’m going to have toget my learn on for at least a month in July. I’m taking this bullshitprogramming class, and since it’s for big dorks like myself, the chances ofthere being any hot broads in there is slim to none. The class itself is only amonth and runs from 8 till 10 in the morning, so I guess it’s not too bad. I’llkeep ya updated on how it goes.

Marty wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forceshimself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirinsand a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing infront of him, all clean and pressed. Marty looks around the room and sees thatit is in a perfect order, spotless, clean. So’s the rest of the house. He takesthe aspirins and notices a note on the table “Honey, breakfast is on thestove, I left early to go shopping. Love you.”

So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and themorning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.

Marty asks, “Son, what happened last night?”

His son says, “Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and delirious.Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye whenyou stumbled into the door.”

Confused, Marty asks, “So, why is everything in order and so clean, andbreakfast is on the table waiting for me?”

His son replies, “Oh that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when shetried to take your pants off, you said, “Lady, leave me alone, I’mmarried’!”

Gay Bob goes to the doctor office and has some tests run. The doctor comes backand says “Bob, I’m not going to beat around the bush, you have AIDS”.Bob is devastated.

“Doc, what can I do?”

“Eat 1 link of sausage, 1 head of cabbage, 20 unpeeled carrots drenchedin hot sauce, 10 Habanero peppers, 40 walnuts, 40 peanuts, 1 huge box ofGrapenuts cereal, and top it off with a gallon of prune juice.”

Bob asks, “Will that cure me?”

Doc says, “No, but it should leave you with a better understanding ofwhat your ass is really for.”

YourLink Here?!?

Aquarius261985:Hi 🙂
iwangworld: where you from?
Aquarius261985:North Attleboro
iwangworld: cool
iwangworld: i heard the girls from there put out
Aquarius261985:Oh really..LoL.. Well im not orginally from here soo
iwangworld: where you from originally?
Aquarius261985:Mansfield Haha
iwangworld: yeah the bigger sluts are from mansfield
iwangworld: what do you like to do for fun?
Aquarius261985:Oh really
Aquarius261985:UM, Beach,Mall,Friends,Party, shit like that ya know
Aquarius261985:wat about u
iwangworld: hits the bars go gambling
iwangworld: fuck girls from NorthAttleboro
Aquarius261985:I c
Aquarius261985:how old are u
iwangworld: 12
Aquarius261985:ur 12 but u get into bars..
iwangworld: i have an awesome id
iwangworld: how old r u?
Aquarius261985:i bet
iwangworld: not bad
iwangworld: i like older women
iwangworld: you do anal?
iwangworld: threesome’s?
Aquarius261985:never tried it
iwangworld: i bet you munch carpet
iwangworld: c’mon
iwangworld: not even once?
iwangworld: make out with a girl?
Aquarius261985:ya ive done that
iwangworld: did you like it?
Aquarius261985:it was aight
iwangworld: so how did it happen?
Aquarius261985:Dont really remember we were drunk and someone told us to do it
iwangworld: and what were you wearing?
Aquarius261985:dont know it was a long time ago
iwangworld: cheerleader outfits
iwangworld: that’s pretty hot
iwangworld: so are you shaved?
iwangworld: like totally shaved?Previous message was not received by Aquarius261985 because of error: UserAquarius261985 is not available. is not available.