How to Get Away With Cheating :: I Want a New Girlfriend

Yes, I have cheated before. Yes, I have gotten away with it. Now that I’m older and a little bit wiser I do not condone cheating. It ends up hurting the one person you’re supposed to care the most for, and all you get is new poon. Is it worth it? Maybe, but you have to decide for yourself.

Some people will always cheat, they wont stop, and they dont’ give a shit. This article is for everyone of you guys. If you’re going to cheat, don’t let your girlfriend find out. She’s better off not knowing. So read these tips and make sure you follow them to the letter.

1. Make sure you have an alibi. This is the first and most important step in the cheating process. If you’re blowing off your girlfriend to get some other pussy, make sure she doesn’t have any doubts. Tell her that you’re hanging out with your guy friends, and make she’ll cover for you. Family gatherings are always a good cover. Unless she is close to your side, and then it could backfire.

2. Don’t just cheat with some random stranger. Of course I know you can’t really plan which girl you’re going to sleep with, unless you’re playing for your poon. But try not to make it a a random hook up. Hook ups tend to leave hickeys, scratches, and other incriminating evidence. Girls who know what your situation is, may be more careful about getting you in trouble.

3. Clean up your mess. Laundry time fellas! Don’t slack off in this department. Women can smell another perfume miles away. Do the laundry right away, and make sure she didn’t leave anything behind. Cigarettes are the worst way to get caught. If you’re girlfriend notices a different brand of butts in the tray, you’re flat out busted. You want your cheating experience to be as easy as possible. The last thing you want is to have to come up with last minute excuses.

These are some basic ways of covering your ass. Now I’m not the all knowing god of cheating, so any tips that you have will be generously accepted. Email them to me, and see your name in print.

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Web wide crawl with initial seedlist and crawler configuration from March 2011. This uses the new HQ software for distributed crawling by Kenji Nagahashi.

What’s in the data set:

Crawl start date: 09 March, 2011
Crawl end date: 23 December, 2011
Number of captures: 2,713,676,341
Number of unique URLs: 2,273,840,159
Number of hosts: 29,032,069

The seed list for this crawl was a list of Alexa’s top 1 million web sites, retrieved close to the crawl start date. We used Heritrix (3.1.1-SNAPSHOT) crawler software and respected robots.txt directives. The scope of the crawl was not limited except for a few manually excluded sites.

However this was a somewhat experimental crawl for us, as we were using newly minted software to feed URLs to the crawlers, and we know there were some operational issues with it. For example, in many cases we may not have crawled all of the embedded and linked objects in a page since the URLs for these resources were added into queues that quickly grew bigger than the intended size of the crawl (and therefore we never got to them). We also included repeated crawls of some Argentinian government sites, so looking at results by country will be somewhat skewed.

We have made many changes to how we do these wide crawls since this particular example, but we wanted to make the data available “warts and all” for people to experiment with. We have also done some further analysis of the content.

If you would like access to this set of crawl data, please contact us at info at archive dot org and let us know who you are and what you’re hoping to do with it. We may not be able to say “yes” to all requests, since we’re just figuring out whether this is a good idea, but everyone will be considered.