I Want a New Girlfriend – Tuesday April 22

The Shady Lady (7:00PM EST) Jack
You’re friendly neighborhood porn maestro is back and ready to post more pictures and videos than your dick can handle. Before we get to all that fun stuff here’s a little bit about what’s going on with me. The semester is almost over and it’ll be nice to have a little break from the books. That’ll give me a little more time to hang out with the lady and work on the site. I’m hoping that most of my free time will be spent by the pool and not in front of the computer. It better be a fucking great summer after the shitty winter we had this year.

My one year anniversary is coming up, and I need some ideas on what I can do for the lady. We’re already going away for Memorial Day so I earned some bonus points there. But I need something good to do for the actual night. We’ll probably end up going to her favorite restaurant (McDonalds) and taking her back to my place for a minute of some good sex. She loves it… trust me.

One great thing about Spring is when all the hot college girls go south to party for one full week. Luckily some buddies of mine where there caught them all on tape. Here’s just a little taste of what they captured after the girls had just a tiny amount of alcohol.

Girls Get Crazy For You Right Here!!

Want more galleries of hot broads? Check out I Fuck Sluts, where I post pictures of all the girls I’ve slept with!

What Every Man Expects in a Wife

  • She will always be beautiful and cheerful.
  • She could marry a movie star, but wants only you.
  • She will have hair that never needs curlers or beauty shops.
  • Her beauty won’t run in a rainstorm.
  • She will never be sick–just allergic to jewelry and fur coats.
  • She will insist that moving the furniture by herself, it’s good for her figure.
  • She will be an expert in cooking, cleaning house, fixing the car or TV, painting the house, and keeping quiet.
  • Her favorite hobbies will be mowing the lawn and shoveling snow.
  • She will hate charge cards.
  • Her favorite expression will be, “What can I do for you, Dear?”
  • She will think you have Einstein’s brain but look like Mr. America.
  • She will wish you would go out with the boys so that she could get some sewing done.What He Usually Gets
  • She speaks 140 words a minute, with gusts up to 180.
  • She was once a model… for a totem pole.
  • Where there’s smoke, there she is–cooking.
  • She’s a light eater…once it gets light, she starts eating.
  • She lets you know you only have two faults: everything you do, and everything you say.
  • No matter what she does with it, her hair looks like an explosion in a steel wool factory.
  • If you get lost, open your wallet and she’ll find you.
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