May 16 – 31 Post Archives :: I Want a New Girlfriend

May 16 – 31 Post Archives :: I Want a New Girlfriend

Thursday May 31, 2001

Old News / Forums

Memento (9:00PM EST) Jack
I’ve seen that movie listed on like 10 different websites as one of the best movies out right now, so I’ll probably see it tonight. I’m a big movie fan so I set up a new section in the forums dedicated to movies and movie talk. Check it out and post some shit in there. It’s good for you!

Since everyone and their mother has a movie review section, I’m going to put one up with a little twist. Instead of reviewing new movies, or straight porn movies, I’ll talk about the ones that I see on late night Skinemax and HBO. Last night was like Bikini Hoe Down or something but I only caught the last half hour. So tonight I’ll find some movie and talk about it tomorrow. Should make for some interesting reading if you’re into that. If not you can just click on the pictures.

Gone Fishing


It’s been a pretty slow day for me today. Not to much new shit to report. I did get another response from the “AOL Spam Chick.” I have to say that they are a persistent porn company. I wonder how many people actually fall for that though.

This site came to my attention recently and I think it’s pretty cool. I especially like the layout of it. Something I haven’t seen on any other site. Check it out, it’s worth the click. According to Perfect Echo western mASS alliance stands with these sites.

Big Dark Cloud
Class Or Sex
Perfect Echo
Playtimestuff: After Dark

I’m thinking we should all get together at Kahunaville some night and just get fucking wasted. For those who aren’t 21 or over, well you can hang out in the arcade and we’ll sneak drinks to you. For reals though, it would be kind of cool to meet some of the people who run the websites around here. If it sounds cool, get in touch with me, if it sounds gay, just ignore me. More later on people.

Old News / Forums

Closing Time (1:30PM EST)Jack
Damn, another good site shuts down. A lot of sites that I’ve been checking out have been closing their doors for business lately. I can’t say how long my site will continue to be up, but we look pretty stable for the future. I still like doing the site, and will continue to do it as long as it’s fun.

One little piece of news before I get into the real update. This will be the last time you ever see mentioned on my site. See the little feud we had going was fun at first but now it’s just overplayed and boring. There’s so much better stuff I can be posting about then some douche bag from Norway. So good luck on your site, here’s hoping the same thing happens to you that happened to


Ok, back to the good stuff. Three more interviews will be posted tonight, so you can look forward to those. I’m pretty happy with results, so maybe I’ll run some more in the future. I did get this email about Vilette though.

From: Mr. Furious
Subject: Interview Commentary
i usually stay under my rock unless I have somthing important to say. What
the fuck is up with these interviews? Slooots are everywhere, but I guess I
could have told you that by looking at their web-cams. Someone needs to slap
these HOs around. Its obvious that they would enjoy it. I nominate myself
for the job. I would really like to slap around Viollete. I don’t know if i
could handle the chief slut, sinnocence. Post more interviews, they are
interesting. In addition, interview me, because I am the Alpha Male, and I
know what sluts need.
Hotcock13 Out!!
Porn is boring.
Sgt. Blah

Let’s see, we finally find a chick that enjoys sex, is fucking hot, and seems pretty smart. Since she is comfortable in her sexuality she is labeled a slut. What kind of bullshit is that. There should be more chicks like her around. But it seems like all the girls I meet are either totally frigid, or waiting for the hand of god to come down and tell them it’s the right time. Why can’t people just take sex for what it is; a wicked fun time! People are so hung up sexual stuff that it cracks me up. I think one day a year we should all just run around naked and have a huge orgy. I bet we could stop world wars and shit like that.

Old News / Forums

Interview Time! (12:00AM EST) Jack
Finally here come some of the many interviews. The first one is from some one Click Me!who I never would have thought liked the site. You may know her as Kitty or as Sinnocence. Either way she’s a cool cat, and I’m glad to have her as a fan. Her site is awesome and she even linked me with “IWantToFuckJack” So she’s gets an A in my book.

Click here For Sinnocence’s Interview

Next on the list is Vilette. I first started reading her site when it was called Electralux (I know I got in the game late) and was hooked since then. She writes good, site looks good, and she looks good. So what more could you want?

Click Here For Vilette’s Interview

And finally for tonight we’ve got Alyssa from I hadn’t been to her site in awhile and it’s looking good. It looks almost as good as the girl that runs it.

Click Here For Alyssa’s Interview

I think this little interview thing is going pretty successfully. We’ve got some hot chicks answering questions more interesting than “Why did you start your site?” and “How many hits a day do you get?” So as long as people keep filling it out, I’ll keep posting the responses.


Did you know that I used to have three piercings in my ear and one in my nose? Yeah, I bet you didn’t. I took them all out a few years ago, but I’m thinking about getting something pierced again. And it is almost time for me to get another tattoo. I’ve got to save up a little more money before doing that though. Plus I have to think of something. I like to have original shit on my body, not some pre-made graphic.

Wednesday May 30, 2001

Old News / Forums

My Girl’s Pussy Stinks!(11:00PM EST)Jack
Tonight is like viewer mail night. Which is cool because it mean my site is more than just some generic porn site. Not that there is anything wrong with running a porn site, but I’d like to think there’s more to this.

Subject: question
okay i have a big question here ..i love my wife with all my heart yet i cant
go down on her i just cant bare the smell…i know this sounds stupid to alot
of people or people say its an excuse but she is heavy and has a very strong
smell and trust me i want nothing more than to eat her out like there is no
tomorrow… do you have any suggestions for me please help me out……….

I think it’s great you want to go down on your girl, but if it really stinks down there I don’t blame for not doing it. The first chick that I ate out smelled fucking nasty and it took me a little while before I’d do it again. If there’s a wicked bad smell then you might want to set up a time to take a bath together. It’s sensual and you can get her fresh and clean. Not only will you be getting in the mood together but also make sure she’s washing down there. If the smell continues or gets worse it can be something more serious. Have her get checked out by a doctor, as it could be a STD or a yeast infection. It’s best to catch it early and solve it early. The last thing you need is for your chick to be all crudded up.

I have to zip to the store and return some movies but right after that I’ll post some interviews.

Old News / Forums

My Girl Wont Show Her Tits (6:05PM EST)Jack
I just got this in my inbox and I felt like I needed to respond to it.

From: Blowme
Subject: hey
jak, hey–i dunno what to do-i’ve been seeing this chik for a long time, and we fuck and everything, but she won’t let me see her tits for shit! I dunno what to do-i’m afraid there’s like something wrong with them or sumthin…tell me what to do…thanks later

I’ve actually been through a situation like this and I know how to handle it. I was going out with a chick for a little while and we were having great sex and everything but she wouldn’t take off her shirt when we fucked. I always thought it had something to do with me, but it was all about her insecurities. What you need to do is tell your girlfriend how beautiful her body is and make her feel comfortable. Also try not to make comments about other girls when she’s around or can here you. Say you’re joking around with your buddies about funky tits or something and she here’s you. She’s probably thinking that as soon as she takes her top off you’re going to laugh at her.

Or maybe she has really hairy nipples. I was going out with this one girl and she was smoking! So this one night we’re at a party and we get drunk and start making out in the laundry room. I take her shirt off and then her bra, and I see the hairiest pair of female nipples! I couldn’t even go one after seeing that. So watch out for those too. Ask one of her girlfriends if her tits are fucked up, or just go for it yourself.

Old News / Forums

Respect the Cock (6:00PM EST)Jack
What an exciting day today has been. It started off by me driving down to my college and making sure that they send my transcript out to my new college. It should have been done months ago, but some McDonalds reject must have mishandled it along the way. At least that shit is taken care of.

So I guess I stole this guys idea about having a mASSachusetts alliance. I just thought it sounded like a good idea, sorry for taking the credit dude. I’ll be putting the links on the left hand side so look for those shortly. I’m also thinking about doing a banner rotation type of thing. Like if you display my banner on your site I’ll display yours here. Let me know how many people would be interested in joining up.

Later tonight I’ll be putting up three of many interviews I’ve gotten. I think the first three will be Vilette, Sinnocence, and some other one that I’ve forgot. They should be up by 10 or so.

Remember the response I got back from my personal ad, well the “chick” emailed me back.

I’m glad to hear back from you! Here are my pics!
Give me a call!! My numbers on the fourth page, but please, ONLY IF YOU’RE SERIOUS. Looking forward to your call!!! Krista

Surprise, surprise. Aren’t there any real girls out there that want to go out on a date with Jack? I shower everyday, change clothes at least three times a week, and parents love me! I’m like the perfect man or something.

Old News / Forums

PlaytimeStuff (10:48AMEST)Jack
Got an email from the guys that run Playtimestuff.

Dear Jack:

After three weeks of being a man without a viable site, I would like to
present to you and the readers of IWANGF a sneak preview of what is to be
officially launched and publicly available on Friday.

The direct link is: is on it’s way to becoming a portal for webviewers between
the ages of 18-25. AfterDark marks the first spoke of the College Hub that
will be Playtimestuff. I think that your audience, Jack, will be pretty
interested in AfterDark – the pulp mag for the college mind. For those of
your readers who are interested in more of an academic site – Caprivox, our
online academic journal, launches on July 1st.

I’m cool so I already got to check it out, but now here is your chance. To tell you the truth it looks like it’s going to be pretty good. More cutting edge, and more in your face type of shit. One of the chick’s posts is even called Thoughts from two tits, a hole, and a heartbeat…, and she’s pretty hot too.

Well, I’m off to argue with my future college about transcripts and shit. I’ll be back later on.

Old News / Forums

Hi There My Name is Fuckware (3:00AM EST) Fuckware
Hi everyone my name is Fuckware. You may know me from Well, you probably don’t since I like 20 hits a day and half of them are from me. But that’s beside the point. I’m here because me and Jack haven’t gotten along and I wanted to explain why I’m such a douche bag. So here is a list of FAQ’s that many people ask me. (Well, no one asks me anything. They really just ask me to shut-up.)

1. Why does suck so much Falkware?
Well, honestly I’d say it’s a combination of many many things. First off I like to make comments about Jack’s and Amanda’s sites. See I have nothing really to write about, so I bash other sites which I’m jealous of. Maybe if I talk about them non-fucking-stop they’ll link me again…. Oh please please link me!!! Plus I like to hide my insecurity about being gay by posting generic porn.

2. Why do you have a Top 100 Site list?
I noticed that Stile and Freak Farm both have a Top 100 list and I want to be cool like them. Although my list doesn’t give out any hits and there’s only 6 sites in the database, we’re growing wicked quickly!!

3. Do children run away from you crying when they see you?
Why yes they do! Just take a look at my pic….. Did you know my “wife” fantasizes about Jack when we’re in bed also? And my kids are ashamed that I’m their dad. Even they are ashamed about being little Fuckwares.

4. When will site shut down?
Seeing as how all my favorite sites have either been hacked or shutdown, I’m sure my day is coming soon. I’ll try and give everyone notice so you can throw a party for me.

That’s all that people ask me so that’s all I can respond too. Basically I’m just a pathetic old man who pisses people off. I’m going to go back and research more porn and mouse pads. Oh yeah I’ve got a great post coming up about types of shit!

Fuckware wants you to comment!!

Old News / Forums

Tame the Cunt (2:00AM EST) Jack
I thought Magnolia was going to be better than it actually is. Oh well, I can’t always pick good movies. Julianne Moore is pretty fucking hot though. She’s probably the only redeeming quality of this movie. It’s about the only thing stopping me from turning it off and putting on some Skinemax movie. Some kid just pissed himself, that was kind of funny.

Damn I’m fucking bored. I should just turn off the TV and get some sleep, but that wouldn’t be my style. I stay up until my eyes can barely stay open then I sleep for like 4 hours and start over again.


Hay is for horses, better for chicks to get naked on.

Old News / Forums

Sex on the Beach (12:00AM EST) Jack
Ever have sex on the beach? I think any one who has knows that it’s something that is better left as a fantasy. I only mention it because summer is coming up and I know all you little kids are going to want to try it when you’re on vacation. Take it from some one who lived on the ocean for 16 years… you’re better off in the backseat of your car. It might be more cramped, but your girlfriend wont have to worry about fishing sand out of her hoochie for the next week. And I wont even get into the bugs and shit like that.

When I was down on the Cape I kinda felt like a tourist, which is pretty weird for me. It’s like so much shit has changed and I haven’t been there to experience it. I only left a couple of years ago, but it’s a lot different now. But I’m different too, so I guess it’s cool. Not like I want to be the same person I was when I was 18, but I did have some good times. Like the time we would get out of work, grab a 30 pack of Bud and hit the beach for some night fishing. The only think we would catch is a good buzz, but IHOP was always there for some late night munchies. Now the people I used to fish with are either married, off Cape, or just not into anymore. We all get older and traditions die out….

So the only thing to do is make new traditions. This site is a testament to that. Everyday I log on to see who sent me mail, reffered me, or said something about me. It’s kind of cool in a way, almost like a second identity. Not many people know I run this site and I like to keep it that way. But that may change when I start wearing my IWANGF t-shirts around campus. Think I can get some action out of it?

Yeah, me neither. But I’d be happy to find a girl who digs me for who I am. I’m not a total asshole, but I’m not a saint either. I just want a girl who isn’t afraid of sex, but doesn’t want to bang the whole football team. Of course as I was writing I got this in my inbox.

Hello, how’s it going? My name is Krista and I have just been looking through the personals for somebody to start a fun relationship with. I am not looking for anything specific until I get to know people better. I like to keep an open mind when meeting new people, that way I know I am at least giving somebody a chance to show me who they are. So since your personal seems interesting to me, maybe we could start some love online. Let me tell you a little about myself. Well I grew up in St.Louis, but I am here in Springfield for a while helping a girlfriend get through a long over due divorce. I keep telling her we just need to get out and have a good time! So maybe you could help us out. I don’t know the area very well, but I think we could all go out for a beer or something easy. Anyway I can tell you I am 27 with an attractive body and face (I hope), I have brown hair and weigh about 125. If you want, I can send some pictures, that way we can put a face to who we are talking to. Hope to talk and meet soon!!! KRISTA

PS I got a few good ideas to help cheer up my girlfriend (:

It almost sounds like one of those fake responses that people get all the time. It has all the qualities; the girl sounds hot, wants to hook up, and there might be a chance for some lesbianism. It’s not as forward as most, but I’m not sure. I did respond to it because I’m a big fat loser, so we’ll see what happens. I still think Adult Friend Finder is the best for online shit. At least you know the girls on there want to fuck.

This guy linked me in two straight posts! He thinks I ignored him on AIM or something, but I really didn’t. I’m just the worse person to talk to online. I will seriously get offline in the middle of important conversations. So if it seems like I’m ignoring you, I’m probably just passed out on my bed. So check out his site, it’s pretty cool looking. Another awesome site is Die Pig. If you need to get your fill of huge tits just click on the link. The girl he’s got on the main page is fucking hot! And now in honor of the pool opening here at the condo, some pictures of my future ex-wife.


I’m pretty stoked this place has a pool. Hopefully there will be many nights of skinny dipping, and not by myself! Well, to end this post I’ve decided to become a more nicer webmaster. Well, nicer to people from Massachusetts. So if run a site and you’re from MA send me an email and I’ll throw a link to you. Some sites that are part of the Western MA Alliance are:

Class or Sex: run by some dudes who go to UMASS. These fucking kids have there own little cheerleader squad!

Wondergirl: she’s not in MA yet, but she’s coming in August. Maybe she’ll go out with me when she gets here.

Big Dark Cloud: this is a smaller site, but it’s always full of cool shit. You should really check it out… Yes check it out.

I know there are others, but I forget the rest. Playtime stuff is coming back in a couple of days. For now you can sit and watch the goat do a countdown. I bet a lot of people (maybe 3) are surprised that I linked them. Oh well, shit changes, and so do I.

Zeigual: hey whats up
getnewgirlfriend: nothing much
Zeigual: i was wondering if you would wanna trade links… you said you would so i posted a banner on my site but you never linked me
getnewgirlfriend: whats your site?
Zeigual: www.****.com
Zeigual: i took down the banner but i can but it back up instantly if you link
getnewgirlfriend: nah that’s alright
Zeigual: so your not gonna link?
getnewgirlfriend: nah
Zeigual: alright peace
getnewgirlfriend: but you will make my front page!
getnewgirlfriend: thanks for the content
Zeigual: wait!

That is the perfect way not to get a link on my site. Follow that guy and you’re really going to go places!! I’m off to watch Magnolia, going to paying some late fees on it, so I might as well see it.

Tuesday May 29, 2001

Old News / Forums

Damn! (10:32PM EST) Jack
What a long ass fucking day it was today. I haven’t even gotten a chance to look through the Web Mistress responses I’ve gotten. I’ll post a few each day for the rest of the week. BTW, if you do fill one out, remember to include your website address. I got a couple of them w/o URLs so keep that in mind. Guess what I got today? A new secretary! I told her about my site and she could barely keep her clothes on so I took some pictures!


Nah, I’m just kidding, no new secretary for me. If had one of those around my office, I’d never get anything done!

Old News / Forums

Bored (12:00PM EST) Jack
Got a bunch of the 20 interviews sent back to me, so those will be up shortly. I finally went to the gym today and I’m wicked glad I did. Feels good to actually go out and do something, so hopefully this is a new trend for me. We’ll see how long it lasts though.



More stuff to come after I take a shit, smoke a butt, and get something to eat.

Monday May 28, 2001

Old News / Forums

Web Misstress Questionaire (11:00PM EST) Jack
I made up a small 20 Question type thing for the ladies who run websites. I’m going to send it out in a mass email tomorrow, but for now if you want to fill it out click here. Once you’re finished email it back to me and I’ll post them all. While you’re waiting for those, click here 50 of the best sites on the net.

Old News / Forums

The Mummy Returns (9:00PM EST) Jack
Saw the Mummy Returns movie today which wasn’t that bad. This summer looks like it’s going to be a good one for movies. The few that I’m looking forward to are J&SBSB, Tomb Raider, and American Pie 2. There’s a bunch more but those are my top three. Angelina Jolie looks fucking hot as Lara Croft which should bring in all those computer nerds, including me.

From: Big Daddy
What is the world coming too when some college kids cant hav a good kegger
parties without watching for the cops! Its terrible when i see someone who
is not having as much fun in life try to stop others fun, I was told you had
to have lots of fun in college cause your about to face the real TACO of
life,,,and it wont be much fun unless you make it fun,,It seems like there
is always someone who cant stand to see someone else have more fun on this
little spec of dust we call home,sorry to rant to you ,,
Big DaDDy Carlos
The Associated Press
COLUMBUS – A civil-rights group and a college professor sued the
state Friday over a new requirement that buyers of five or more beer kegs
must register their parties and sign a form permitting police onto their

The American Civil Liberties Union of Ohio filed a lawsuit in U.S.
District Court on behalf of Scott Hooper of Ohio University, arguing the
rule is unconstitutional.

The rule requires Mr. Hooper “to waive his constitutional right to
be free from unreasonable searches and seizures” the suit says.

Buyers must give the location of the party to beer distributors and
sign an affidavit allowing liquor agents and police to enter the property to
enforce liquor laws.

Holy shit that’s fucked up. Can some people get a drink with out the law getting involved.

From: David
Subject: help
hey i just recently have been going to your site . , i like what you
say most fo the time . you give good advice and your ideas are cool , i
hope i dont sound gay , i haev nothing against them but you know , . well
the reall reason i’m sending you this email is . me and my girlfriend have
been going out or like two months , she wants to take it slow so i’m
lettin gher do that . me and hr had this long conversation about forplay
and adn oral stuff i don’t really wanna do oral stuff , but i’m all for
touching and rubbing . she wants to tryi it out she has never done
anything before , and iw ant to do it well . could you reply or mabey
post something for thnx if ya do and if ya don’t thats okay too

How can you not like giving oral!? I understand you’ve probably never seen a pussy before, but oral sex is the gift we can give to girls. You’re chick will love you for it, and it will get you one step closer to the promised land. You’ve seen Amercian Pie right? Remember the chick that woudn’t have sex? She opened up pretty quickly once her boyfriend went down on her. I’m not really a pro on going down town, so if any chicks want to write a little article on how to do it correctly send it in.

From: Jessica
Subject: Hi!
Hey jack!

I just wanted to email you because i love your site! i’ve been going there
for quite a while now, and i also think you’re kinda sexy 😉

Just wanted to let you know!


I’m a sucker for a cute girl from Maine. It’s too bad that no girls from Massachusetts ever come to the site and think I’m sexy… There’s got to be at least one that wants to jump my bones. So if you’re out there send me an email. We can hook up in front of my web cam!

Old News / Forums

Big Update Time (2:00PM EST)Jack
I guess it’s good to be back in Western MA, but I know the Cape is my home. Tractor pulls and cornfields don’t compare to the ocean and good times on the Cape. But I’m back here for now, so let’s make the best of it.

To MeTo MeTo MeTo MeTo MeTo Me

Some more fan signs courtesy of Jan and Maybeth I love getting shit so keep sending stuff in.

From: Alexandria
Subject: still looking?
hey, this is alex from just wanted to say thanks
for putting up my picture and for the great write up. =) were grtting
tons of hits from you. =) currently no one gets me at the end of the
day…still looking for a new girlfriend? =)
luvs – alex

I’m totally shocked nobody gets to bang this chick at the end of a day. I know if I was around me and her would never leave the house. It’s too bad none of these girls live around here in MA. I guess at some point I’m going to have to pack up my shit and skip town to meet these hot broads.I think that’s what I’m going to have to do when I hit 25. If there’s some people that want to give me a place to stay along the way I’ll be much appreciative.


Good girl in the laundry room. Speaking of good girls, I saw my long time ago ex-girlfiend on the Cape. It was really good seeing her and I’m hoping we get together again. I don’t think we could get into a relationship, but I know we could have some more fun times. Like just having sex all night. I think I could live with that. Now I just have to try and keep in touch with her.


So what’s in store for me this week? I’m not really sure to tell you the truth. There’s no big dates lined up but hopefully that will change. It’ll be a nice relaxing week for me to just chill and hang out. I rented Magnolia so maybe I’ll watch that tonight. I’ll probably just end up falling asleep to it, but that’s cool too.

50 of the Sickest Sites on the Internet!

Old News / Forums

Jack is Back (12:00PM EST)Chubs
It’s amazing what a day of rest and relaxation can do to one’s motivation. All I needed was the smell of the ocean, some good Italian dressing, and the sight of all the tourist babes in bikinis. I love the Cape and I’m going to take many more trips down there this year. I just wanted to let you know I’m back and there is a huge update as soon as I eat my lunch. As always the old stuff is in the archives.

Saturday May 26, 2001

Old News / Forums

Odds & Ends (5:00PM EST)Chubs
I just can’t tear myself away from this site. I’ve got all my shit packed and it’s time for one final update before I hit the road. By nine o’clock I plan on being severely intoxicated and trying to pick up girls at my old bar.

From: Fraggalot
Subject: affialtes
Hi, Im a dude whos about to open my own webspace, it will be, and im looking for affiliates? Would u be interessted in a link-trade, and would u by any chance have something (a script or similar) that i could use 4 improvent to the site? Hope u can give me some positive response here… Regards, Fraggalot.

No, but I will give this guy a link. He followed all the simple rules which I will now post again.

1. If you a small site just starting out and want a link from me, just link me first. I check my webstats pretty regularly and if you show up on that I’ll probably link you. People who have followed that rule are:

– Punogre – Perfect Echo – Don’t Look Away – Orsm –

2. Even if you don’t read number one and ask for a link anyways, but you have me linked I might link you. If I like your site you’ll get a link on mine.

2a. If you come on aol instant messenger and ask me to link you with out my site linked, you wont get a link and I’ll block you. I think it’s just common courtesy. I’m not out there begging for you to link me, so if you want something from me, link me first.

I really do like giving smaller sites links, because everyone needs a helping hand when they first start out. I got a bunch of help from some bigger sites, so it’s only fair to give a little back. Sites that helped me out.

– EHOWA – Stile Project – X-Entertainment – Shock Comics –

– Steak and Cheese – I Love Bacon –

Much thanks goes to all of them and many many more. Last night I saw The Watcher. I ended up fast forwarding through most of the movie only stopping for parts that looked kind of cool. Which means I really only watched about 20 minutes of the two hour movie. Point Break was on again last night so I watched that too. All in all it was a pretty boring night. It was good though, I needed a health night just to chill and shit.

– NYC – NYC – NYC – NYC – NYC – NYC – NYC – NYC – NYC – NYC –

– Grave – Grave – Grave – Grave – Grave –

– Lez – Lez – Lez – Lez – Lez – Lez – Lez – Lez – Lez –

Everyone go get drunk on Memorial Day and email me cool stuff!

Friday May 25, 2001

Old News / Forums

Big Stuff (1:00AM EST) Chubs
I’m not sure where to begin since this will probably be my last update till Monday or hopefully Sunday. It’s been awhile since I got to take a good break, and I think it’s well deserved. I know you’ve all be waiting for the final ten pictures so I guess I can start with that. I’ve been building up the suspense for the last couple of weeks so here they are.

Dawn Marie!The first time I saw Dawn Marie’s website I think I bashed it one my main page. I had gotten her link from and had a little fun kind of taunting her. From that day on our kidding back and forth has maybe grown into a mutual respect. As you tell she’s a hot babe and she loves me! That’s more than I can say about any other girl in my life. Just from her main page you’ll see that’s it is different from most other cam girl sites out there. She likes to dress up in costumes and other crazy shit. So visit her site and tell her how much of a babe she is.

Dawn Marie 1Dawn Marie 2

Click Me!Just look at how hot this chick is!!! The things I would do to her if I had the chance. I wasn’t really familiar with her site, but after looking through it I’m hooked! There’s just something about a chick that takes topless photos for me, that really gets the blood flowing south.

One of the great things about this girl is that she can change her look as she pleases. Just imagine the possibilities when it comes to roleplaying in the bedroom. Who ever is getting this girl at the end of the day is a lucky lucky man.

So check out her site if you’re into modeling pictures, pictures of hot chicks and half naked pictures of Alexandria.

Click Here For the Full Pic

Click Me!Here’s the autobiography that I pulled of her site.

Name: Maybeth
Nicknames: Exr0se, May, Maycita and lots more
Zodiac sign: Libra
Location: Puerto Rico
Hair: Dark brown with dark blonde highlights

Mary beth is definitely fucking hot, and I think she’s my first Puerto Rican girlfriend. I’d fuck her, but she’s like only 15. A few years older and a few thousand miles closer and she’d be riding me like the pony that she never had.

For MeFor MeFor MeFor Me

Click Me!How fitting is it that Secret Love l gets the 100th pic into me. She’s sent me in pictures before, but tonight she’s also stripped for me. And you know that earns bonus points in my book.

Check out her site cause it’s pretty fucking good and maybe if you ask really really nice she’ll take some pictures for you people too.


So these pictures aren’t to shabby for a douchebag kid like me to get a hold of. It’s amazing, if I could do as well in real life as I do on the web, I wouldn’t even have time to make a website. But that’s life, and I’m content with my station in it. So I have to come up with something new. Although fan pics are always awesome, it’s time for something else. There’s been voicemails, pictures, and now it’s time to combine the two…. I want your best videos!! I know you people can do it, so send them in. And now for some videos.

Nipple FightRobot Love

Very nice stuff. Ok I’m a big fat lyer. I’ll make a bigger post tomorrow at some point.

More Updates (5:00PM EST) Chubbs
I find it fucking funny that one site has to make every other post about shit that I write about here. Either it’s about me not posting some retarded looking WinAmp skins, or the fact that I ask girls for pictures. In total honesty it’s pretty cool that chicks would be willing to strip down and take pictures with my name or site written on their bodies. I think some one is just a little bit jealous….

So that’s over and done with for now. It’s one to the good stuff. If you want to see all 100 pictures that I received then click here. What a bunch of hot looking broads up in there. Jan said she was going to get some pictures of my site in public places so that’s something I’m looking forward to.

Something else I’m looking forward to is my little vacation. I’ll be taking off on Saturday and probably not coming back till Monday. No computers, no internet, and no fucking whiney people looking for a link. Just booze, broads, and buds. This will be the first of many trips this summer back to the Cape. Maybe I’ll get some of the broads I know to take pictures, that is if they still talk to me after reading the site.

It’s a funny thing this site…. Some people absolutely love it, and some think it should be shut down. In my humble opinion I don’t think it’s that bad, sure I post a few porn pictures, or maybe say some words that people don’t really want to read, but compared to others it’s pretty tame. But not a lot of people back home know that I do this site. One of my exes knows, but I’m not really worried about her. I think it would be pretty funny if I got recognized though.

– Amazon – Amazon – Amazon – Amazon – Amazon – Amazon –

– Amazon – Amazon – Clowns – Clowns – Clowns – Clowns –

– Clowns – Clowns – Nub – Nub – Nub – Nub – Nub – Nub –

– Public – Public – Public – Public – Public – Public – Public –

– Public – Public –

I think those Amazon women pictures are the worst. When I think of a chick, I don’t think of her as having bigger muscles than me. I like a girl with a little muscle tone, but when the girl I’m going out with can beat me up, then it’s time to move on to a safer relationship.

From: Billy Bob
Subject: My Hot Orgy!
Heya Jack! Me and my cousins had a wild orgy and took a bunch of pictures of it! I bet you wish you were here!

– Orgy – Orgy – Orgy – Orgy – Orgy – Orgy –

No thanks Billy Bob, you can keep your redneck inbreeding down in the backwoods of Georgia. And for the love of god don’t send any more pictures! Although I’ve been severely desensitized my eyes cannot handle those horrible images. I guess this should tide you over until tonight when I do my final update for the weekend. If you’ve got anything super important to tell me about, send an email.

Thursday May 24, 2001

Old News / Forums

The Easy Way(9:00PM EST)Jack
Today has been a pretty good day so I don’t want to complain too much about stuff. But there is one thing that’s been bugging me. The fact that I’m getting tons of responses from chicks that are under 18. All these chicks in high school want to shag me, but where are the 21 and over girls! Like I don’t mean to diss the younger girls who read the site, but I think I need someone just a little bit older. Like hanging out at the mall was fun, when I was 13. So if you’re 21 or older and want to shack up with me, just let me know.

From: Al Bundy
Subject: The Easy Way
fuck all that. just do wat im going to do. when im 25 im either gonna be dead or rich. if im still working some shitty job and have some uglybutt gf den i have nothing to lose. so ima gonna go rob a bank or soemthing crazy like that. and i wont get caught cause i wont surrender to the cops. i will jump off buldings shoot the cops runover kids anything to get away wit it. i will rather die than get caught. if i cant get away ill shoot myself. wit that altitude i prolyl will get away wit it. usually people get arrested when a cop pulls out a gunn and they freeze. fuck that. im running or shooting back. u got nothing to lose and everything to gain. maybe u wouldnt mind working some regular 9-5 boringass job for every single day for the rest of your life. but thats not me. death is nothing to me. im looking forward to it. at least i get to see what happens when u die. if i die i die. so might as well go do somethig crazy liek rob a bank. if i get away wit it im rich and if i dont then ill be dead. its a win win situation for me. u down wit that?

Yeah I’m down with that shit Al. Me and you robbing banks and surfing and shit. Point Break was on the other night, and it’s probably the only Patrick Swayze movie I’ll sit through. I could imagine myself doing that though. Just hanging out all day at the beach, robbing banks to support my lifestyle. I wouldn’t need much, just enough to eat, repair my board, and get some Sex Wax. A simple life for a simple guy like me.

3 Hours and counting till my super post. I’ve got cool shit lined up for tonight so keep checking back. I’m trying to debate whether I should get dinner out tonight, or be good and cook something at home. I’ve been wicked lazy this week, living off Ramen noodles and take out pizza from Taco Bell. I’m not that bad of a cook, it’s just I have little or no motivation to cook after working all day. The most I can do is throw shit in the frying pan and heat it up. I’m still looking for a maid…..

In totally random shit, go check out Punogre. They’ve got a new design and shit so go check them out. They’ve had me linked since the very beginning of their site, which is pretty classy. Plus there’s a lot of naked bitches over there! Speaking of nakedness, I want to see every girl on Bad Ass Chick naked with a fan sign for They linked me over on the side part which I think is pretty cool. I’m like the only guy up there!

From: Melissa
Subject: RE: I’m your perfect man!
Well, I’ve got some good news and some bad news,… while I have looked over your submission and don’t feel you quite qualify for my perfect man, I do feel you qualify to be listed as tonight’s site of the night (which I suspect was your REAL aim anyway!) Congratulations and nice job on the site….although If you really are in search of a new chicky you may want to cut down on the number of pictures of naked babes!

DJ Melissa
“The Bitch Session”
Monday-Friday 11p-2a
WBCN, Boston. 104.1 FM

Last night I was pretty bored so I was surfing around some radio station websites. I came across WBCN’s site. I was checking out DJ Melissa’s profile and I noticed that she was looking for a guy. Well, since I’m the perfect man, I emailed her back telling her why I was the perfect guy and all that shit. Up above is what she emailed back to me. Although I don’t get to go out with her, I still get listed as the site of the night. So if you’re in the Boston area tonight listen to WBCN from 11 till 2. Actually listen to it all the time! And me offer is still on the table Melissa…..

Old News / Forums

Technical Difficulties(5:00PM EST)Jack
Had some technical problems these last couple of days, that’s why none of the pictures have been coming up, and I’ve been short on the updates. I PROMISE by tonight that all the final pictures from the contest will be posted. It’ll be my last update before I take off for a couple of days so I’ll be a big one. If you’re still having problems getting to the site, send me an email and I’ll see what I can do.

I’ve got hundreds of pictures to post tomorrow, so that should be pretty cool and tide you over until I come back. It’s basically a mini-vacation from the computer. Going to hang out with some old friends and just chill. It’s funny how shit changes in a couple of years. When I left for Western MA all my friends were still in college, or just working full time. Now everyone is preparing for the real world, or living the American dream. Couple of my friends are married now, with kids, or with kids on the way. Some are still working the some jobs, and some even joined the Army. I guess as we get older, people change what they want to do in life. If you had told me a couple years ago that I’d be doing this site, I’d laugh in your face. I was too busy getting blitzed and picking up girls. So I guess everyone has done some changing.

Wednesday May 23, 2001

Old News / Forums

Get Your Freak On(3:00PM EST)Jack
Today is a good day. Even though its raining cats and fucking dogs. It’s good though, we really need it up here. Ok so here’s the big news, I’ll post a bunch of To Jack pictures tonight at Midnight. I’m going to giving the people who sent them in a bunch of cool stuff so if you’re one of them you’ll be hearing from me soon.

Support IWANGF Click Here!

Click Here!I also got some good breakup stories which will be posted tonight. Remember if you’ve got something you want to share with the people, just send it in. Most of the time if it’s in English I’ll print it.

I’m trying to think of shit to talk about, but it’s been kind of slow lately. No psychotic girlfriends, no random hookups, just a boring week in my life. I come home from work, cook whatever boxed food is around, drink some Coke, watch a movie and then go to bed. It doesn’t really make for exciting storytelling. I could lie and tell you stories about the two lesbians that I had over, or how I was at the supermarket and some chick gave me head in the frozen foods aisle. It would make for a great post, but I try and keep things as real as possible around here. Sometimes cool shit happens and this is great place to write about it, but when shit is slow it’s tough to come up with good stuff. There’s always the old news, which is jam packed with my past exploits, and there’s the forums to talk to other people about relationships or whatever else is on your mind. So if things are bleak over here, check those two places out.

I still haven’t made it to the gym, and that’s really pissing me off. I’ve been busy this week, but that’s no real excuse. I’m a fat bastard and I really need to get back in shape. No girls is going to want to shack up with some fat slob whose gut hangs over his shorts. Plus summer is almost coming and it would be nice to lounge at the pool and pick up some honeys. I used to be able to not look so bad, but boxes of Mac and Cheese and Hamburger Helper kind of killed that. Plus I need to pull it together while I can, because by the time I hit 30 it’ll be just to late.

Tuesday May 22, 2001

Old News / Forums

Quick Thing (7:09PM EST)Jack
Everyone needs to check out External Error. They’ve been nice enough to let us use their IRC Chat Room.

Click Here!!

Old News / Forums

Shit(5:00PM EST)Jack
Got a lot emails regarding the one that my ex-girlfriend sent to me. I would’ve posted her email address, but some one made me aware that it can be harassment or something. So she’ll remain a secret unless she wants to be known.

How come after people break up, shit has to be all fucked up. When we were together me and her tight, we didn’t think anything could split us up. But we were young kids and those relationships barely last. We tried being civil to each other after it was over, but that didn’t really work out. I lost touch with a long time ago, but it’s good to see that she still wants me. So back to my little question. If two people are so much in love one day, why does shit have to be so bad the next? I can honestly say that most of my breakups have been good. Back home on the Cape I’m still friends with every girl that I’ve dated. Maybe cause we started off as friends, or maybe cause I don’t fall into the jealous boyfriend category.

If you guys have any good breakup stories, feel free to send them in. The best ones will get posted and I’ll throw a link out to you or whatever. I got my new favorite poster in the mail. Yes, my friends, I’m the proud owner of a “Reefer Madness” poster. Back in the day smoking some of the “devil weed” could get you locked up in a mental hospital for the rest of your life. Good thing in the 21st century shit has changed. Nowadays it’s practically legal. The first night me and my roommate were on campus, we got busted by the PTs. We thought we were done for, but they didn’t care as long as they didn’t smell it. As you know it’s kind of tough to cover the smell of pot, so it wasn’t the last time we got caught. I don’t smoke any more, but nothing against people who do. It’s a much safer drug than alcohol, and I’d rather be in a car with some one who is stoned than drunk. I prefer the booze myself, but everyone has their own tastes.

Sites That Showed Up in My Referrers:

Rextuff – This is a fucking awesome site. Basically they break shit, record it, and then set it to music. I spent a good hour on it this morning just watching all the videos they’ve got.

Wife Trader – Here’s a guy living the American dream. Banging hot broads, filming it, and then putting it on his site. If only porn stars wanted to fuck me…

Chicken Legs – What do you get when you give a bunch of hot cam chicks posting rights at a website? Funky tits and hot girl on girl action!

Rantbox – Hot Asian chick, need I say more?

Cool sites, so go take a look. And since I’m doing referrers, I’ll post some keyword searches.

i want to live in the jungle – Me too. Maybe that’s where I’ll go when I turn 25.

bleeding girl pictures sex bloody – Very classy. Does your mom know you’re looking for that type of shit?

pictures of me pretty – Aww, isn’t that special….

how to make a girlfriend – Add one part vagina to two parts boobs.

You sick bastards out there on the internet. Shouldn’t you be looking up useful information instead of ending up at this site. Since AOL personals have been a little bleak lately here’s some from

Looking For Something – I’ve seen this girl on every fucking online personal service on the net! I’m not sure what’s worse though. The fact that she is on them, or that I look at every single one out there.

This in All Good Fun – This girl doesn’t actually look that bad. I might be emailing her tonight, but I’m not sure. From the tiny picture that she provided she doesn’t look that bad, but you never know.

I Want Some one with a Real Job – This girl is kinda cute in that hippie alternative type of way. I’d email her but she wants some one with a job and a Harley. I run this website, and I had a scooter when I was 12. I don’t think that’s what she’s looking for.

50 Of The Sickest Sites on The Internet!

Click that link yo! It’s good for you. It’ll put hair on your chest and shit like that. Plus it’ll make your dick grow and you’ll finally be able to give your girlfriend the big O.

Old News / Forums

The Easy Way (12:00AM EST)Jack
I was doing some thinking tonight and I came up with a few things for me to do in the near future. In these last 22 years I’ve always taken the easy way. I coasted through high school not really making any waves or causing to much trouble. I took all college classes not because I wanted to go to college, but because I was too lazy to apply myself for AP classes. In college I slacked off and really fucked up my freshman year. Instead of going back and trying it again I went back to the Cape and lived with my mom for a couple of years. Sure I moved out, but I always ended up back there when shit got tough. I stayed there until I moved up here to Western Ma.

But even this decision was an easy one. I would be living with family, going to school, with out too much of a chance to fuck things up. So where am I now? 22 years old working on this website. Where does that leave me in the future? When I’m 40 I hope my biggest goal isn’t too get on my computer and tell you that I found more hair in my ears.

So here’s my little plan. If I haven’t struck it rich, or gotten fucking famous, or with a serious chick by the time I’m 25, I’m moving on. I’ll sell all my shit. Pack enough clothes for a month or two of traveling, and take the fuck off. Maybe I’ll go to California, or maybe Florida. But I know I’ll be taking the back roads the whole way. I’ve left New England once, and that was on a train that was headed for New Jersey. I want to see some sights, meet new people, and find whatever is calling me out there. Cause there is something big waiting for me, I just need to find it.

No more shortcuts, no more helping hands. I’ll just leave in the middle of the night and see where the road takes me. There might be updates, there might not be. You’re stuck with me for the next couple of years, so until then I’ll still be posting. But after that, you never know. One day there wont be anymore updates, and then shortly after the site will probably go down. Maybe some other kid who has had shitty relationships will register the name and post his own boring stories. Maybe it’ll just be empty. But that’s a couple years down the road, so I don’t really want to think about it until then.


That chick is fucking hot! She’s like a nice wholesome pornstar.

From: That Bitch
Subject: Well, I’m glad you moved on……
Hi Jack, remember me? It’s that girl you used to go out with a long time ago. I’m glad to see that you’re rotting in front of the computer instead of out having a life like other normal people. When we dated I knew it wasn’t going to last, but I’m sure glad I dumped you when I did. I never would have wanted to be known as the girlfriend of some guy that runs a porn site!

I’m sorry Jack, was that too mean for you? Let me try and be a little nicer. Well I graduated college last year and I’m working as a full time nurse. I’ve got a great boyfriend, and he lasts a whole lot longer than you ever did!! How many girls have you conned lately? I’m off to go fuck my boyfriend. Have a nice life!!

I’m glad to see that there is hard feelings between me and this girl. Back in the day she use to give awesome head, but that was about all she was good for. When she wasn’t sucking my dick she would just talk non fucking stop. I hope that bitch remembered to get an STD test, because one of my buddies fucked after I dumped her. It’s too bad he has the herpes and all. But I’m sure by now this chick is more crudded up than the monkey from Outbreak. It’s too bad cause she wasn’t half bad looking. I’ll laugh my ass off when her face breaks out in sores though. Have a nice life you cock-sucking slut!

Monday May 21, 2001

Old News / Forums

What’s The Best Kind of Job? (9:00PM EST) Jack
A blowjob of course. Three updates and it’s only Monday, holy fuck it’s going to be a busy week. I hope every one had a good weekend, and are getting for the long weekend coming up. I’ll be doing a little traveling back to my home turf to spend some time with the old peeps, and hook up with those summer girls down for a little bit. Besides my friends, summer girls are what I miss the most about the Cape. Oh well, I’ll have plenty of chances to go down there this year.

Holy shit did I get smacked by Sinnocence. If I knew it was going to be that good I’d get smacked a lot more from her. Also want to give thanks to Aaron over at Arrogancy. He’s got a new layout and included me on his list of links. Thanks, dude! I always think it’s pretty cool when a site links me first, especially one as good as his.

I got an email from Adult Friend Finder today. I guess they found some matches for my personal. Shit AOL personals never emailed when they found a match for me, so I think that’s pretty cool. Check them out, it’s a free signup so what do you have to lose. It’s beats cybering with chicks on the internet.

– Aria – Aria – Aria – Aria – Aria – Aria – Aria – Aria –

I’m falling in love with that Aria chick. I see why Ratatak digs her. I’m in a really giving mood tonight, so I’m going to update the links section. I don’t normally bother with it, because I doubt that many people click on shit in there, but you really should. All the people on that page have helped me out in the past, present, or maybe in the future. With out them I’d still be getting 100 hits a day, begging for an audience. So thank you everyone and enjoy the rest of the shit.

– Kitchen – Kitchen – Kitchen – Kitchen – Kitchen –

What a beautiful sight, a naked lady cooking a dinner. It’s been a long time since I’ve had a women coming over to cook my dinner. Back in the day it wasn’t that big a deal, because I worked at a resturant. So I’d have fridges full of good food. Now when I come home from a hard day at work, my choices are hamburger helper, mac and cheese, or these bag of noodles. On special days I’ll order out a pizza or something. What I need is a girl who wants to slave in the kitchen all day making me a good meal. I’m not talking about a five star meal, but just something worthwhile. Any volunteers?

I would be totally stoked if you guys voted for me over at Stile’s Top 50. It takes two seconds and will really make me happy. We could always use some more traffic, right? It’ll mean more people in the forums, more reader emails, and more porn pictures! So vote!

Click Here!

I wish they had a cooler button to post, but that’s the only one I could find. Check out their shit for a good time. Also check out Chimptopia, Class or Sex, and the Campus Rag. It’s all good shit, so read them everyday like I do. And since I haven’t linked Amanda in like 24 hours, read her shit too. She’s a lesbian with three pussies! That is unless she’s given them away already.

Old News / Forums

Oops? (5:00PM EST)Jack
I accidentally deleted the navigational bar over there on the left hand side. So I had to put up a copy of an older one. I tried to fix the links as best as I could, but I’m sure I left out a few people. If you were on that list before just email and I’ll put you right back on. Sorry for the inconvenience.

So yes I have received To Jack picture number 100. That doesn’t mean you have to stop sending in your pictures. You still get the link on the left, and you get to show your bodies off to me. So keep those coming cause I love them! I’ll probably post them tomorrow or the next day. I really want to do something special for the people who were in the running.

People said they wanted more movie reviews, so here goes. Last night I wanted to go to sleep pretty early so I got off the computer, hopped into bed, and turned on HBO. Usually there’s a good soft core porn movie to fall asleep too, but there was something different on. It was called Turn it Up, or Fire it Up, something like that. I think it came out a couple of years ago and didn’t really do anything at the box-office. I figure what the hell, I’ll take an hour out of my important sleep and watch it.

The movie starts out in an urban school where the classes are packed, there’s no books, and no heat. Judd Nelson plays the “cool” teacher who gets the kids to listen by not using the conventional ways of teaching. We find this out because when his classroom window is broken, he takes the kids out to some diner and teaches class there. This makes him “cool” because he doesn’t follow the rules. Well, there’s a hold up at the diner and Judd Nelson saves the day. Of course the principal doesn’t think that and has him suspended. Which starts off a whole chain of events including but not limited too; rent-a-cop getting shot, school being barricaded, and 6 douche bags hanging out in the library with their hostage.

Now any good filmmaker knows that if you want to make a successful movie, you need all types of people to like it. So instead of writing a decent script, this person decided to just include every different section of people in here. Here’s a little breakdown of the six major characters.

Usher – The hero of the movie. His dad was shot and killed by some New York cops when he was younger. Cops got away with no penalty, Usher holds a grudge.

Chick From Roseanne – Naw, it’s not the kind of cute blonde one, it’s the freaky, public hair wearing Darlene. Darlene got fucked by some athlete and now she’s pregnant. She’s also the freaky girl of the group.

Drug Dealing White Kid – He was kind of funny, but also a pretty big douche bag. In real life this kid never would have made it in the hood. But that’s the beauty of Hollywood.

There was a few other people like the smart girl, and the homey g kid, but they weren’t really important. Actually now that I really site down and think about it this whole movie wasn’t important. After the first 20 minutes you know how it’s going to end. So yeah, I’m not really going to finish this movie review.

Old News / Forums

Another Week (1:00AM EST)Jack
It’s another Monday morning, and you should know the routine by now. All the good stuff from the last week has been pushed back to the archives, and I’ve got a clean slate for all this weeks shit. I know most people hate Mondays, but I kind of like them. It’s like a fresh start and shit. This week my goal is to cut back on smoking and hit the gym. I was looking at myself in the mirror before taking a shower, and I realize I really let myself go. Beer gut hanging over, barely any muscles, and just looking like shit. I made a promise to myself that I’m going to do something. Even if it’s just jerk off a hell of a lot more so at least one arm is strong. Plus the other bonus is I might meet some girl there… I can only hope though.

I was actually thinking about the recently. The last few girlfriends I’ve had have been from the Internet. I really think it might be time for a change. Maybe I can date a chick that has no clue what a computer is. That way she’ll never read the site, and I’ll look super smart to her. It would be a double bonus. I’ll keep you all updated on what happens. Since nothing will probably happen, it’ll be real easy for me to do.

From: Jen
Subject: me an my refferal program
Hi Jack….
I was wondering you’d be interested in listing me on your site in the Hot Girls section….I have a referral program thru CCBill if you’re interested in signing up for that and making some money. My site converts about the same as Nakkid Nerds…
Lemme know what I can do for you in return (recip link, pictures, etc.)
Jen’s Ex

Well Jen, I love naked boobs, and reciprical links. But that’s up to you. Just knowing that you want to be on my site is thanks enough in my book. Look for it over on the left hand side there. She’s super hot, so if you haven’t check her out before. Do it now!

From:Big Daddy
Subject: ghosts
You got to love them ! Just had to offer my useless wisdom on your post as soon as I read it . Ghosts are awsome thing to be around if you understand them a little, if you dont ,then they might go to your kitchen and get a really big knife and play a game of Lorena Bobbit on your Tube steak!! Just kidding,,Try this ,,when you or your roomie see the ghost observe what is going on around you ,,like if the television is on or if it is when a neighbor is outside or when there is water running,, as silly as this seems there is usually a link to when the Phantom appears,,if you havent been riddled with really spooky stuff or struck with fear they probally wont try to hurt you ,,but they will make you hurt yourself trying to escape!! Well I know that seems pointless but just wanted to tell you what I have found. There is sometimes a frequent occurence when they appear. Find out what it is and you might be able to hav a beer with them !! lolz
P.S. I had a beer with one once and it stole my Keg tap!!

I wasn’t sure if I wrote about this yet, but the other morning we found all the cabinets in the kitchen open. So that was pretty fucked up. Other than thought there hasn’t really been any other occurances. I’m wondering if it’s a chick ghost. It does seem to spend a lot of time in the kitchen so it could be. Any one ever had sex with a ghost, that would be a whole new experience for me.

Some one just told me about some comments that were made over on FuckWare. Here’s the good part.

But Tim what the fuck does this have to do with liars?” Well Billy, I’m glad you asked, I also made a few skins for another webmaster. He runs IWANTANEWGIRLFRIEND.COM, I’ve up until now pretty much swore by his site and phrased it and all of it’s glory. For about 2 weeks I was talking to him about the skins I made for his site. He told me he liked’em and that they’d see the light of day on his next post. So I was on “cloud 9” for a while thinking “cool, people are gonna get to see my work.” Oh buddy I couldn’t have been more wrong! The next post came around and my stuff wasn’t there, and it hasn’t been there yet!

Win Amp 1Win Amp 2Win Amp 3Win Amp 4

Boy am I a sucker for when some one critisizes me. Those are courtesy of Tim Shady, who has made plenty of shit for the site in the past. To cover my own ass, I had forgotten to post the shit before. Check them out, I really like the Evil Dead one.

Now back to the good stuff. People have been saying more relationship advice, and less of the sick shit. Which I think is pretty fucking cool. I’d rather be posting shit on how to massage your girlfriend instead of how to tie her up and shit in her face. Also got a lot of responses to Aimee’s story. I’ll try and get her to write some more. There’s going to be all the fan signs posted pretty soon. Number 100 is really really close so be sure to get your entry in soon. Speaking of fan signs here’s one that doesn’t count cause they fucked up the address. How hard is it to write WWW.IWANGF.COM? I wouldn’t include this one in my gallery anyway.

Fat Girl

Ugh! Nasty boobies. I don’t even want to get near those. But to each his own as I always say. I think that’s it for tonight. I’m tired and I want to go to sleep somwhat early. More shit when I wake up tomorrow.

Sunday May 20, 2001

Old News / Forums

Call Me Flattered(1:00AM EST)Jack
Click Me!Chasing Amy is on TV right now, so that’s pretty cool. I’ve seen it so many times, but it just keeps getting better and better. I think that picture was pretty creative, so she gets a link. Not exactly a tits for hits picture, but still pretty cool. I love fan shit! So if you’ve got something cool to send in, go for it! I need more stuff to boost my ego. Emails and ims from 14 year girls who think they want to jump my bones just aren’t good enough anymore. I need funny shit!!

I don’t really have anything to talk about tonight so I’ll just blabber one, and we’ll see what happens. This could be alright, or it could really suck. Chances are it will suck, but hey, it’s my site and I’ll suck if I want to. Do you ever sit back, take a look at your life, and wonder if this is as good as it gets? Right now I live in a basement, sleep on a combination mattress/airbed, work on this site, and get laid every once in awhile. Sometimes I just wish I could rewind my life and do a few things differently. I think I’d start in high school, where I’d try and bang all the girls I could. I didn’t really come out of my shell until Junior / Senior year, and by that time all the hot chicks were in serious relationships.

It’s not that I did bad in high school, but I think my macking skills weren’t used to their full potential. I know this for a fact because after high school, I ended up going out with a few of the girls that I had wanted. If only I had known when I was 16!! I also made some decisions after high school that I wish I could take back. That’s life though and I can’t really dwell on it too much.

Fucking Chat!!

Use the #assmaster chat room. There’s a ton of other sites using so and I pop in there once in awhile. Actually I’m in there right now! What are the odds…. Pretty good, since I’m spending the “best years of my life” online. There has to be something more than this!

I need something exciting to happen in my life. You know something out of the ordinary that only happens in the movies. Maybe Jerry Springer will see the site and offer me a spot on his show. I was almost on the Montel Williams show awhile ago, but I turned it down. They wanted to do a Boys vs. Girls battle of the sexes. And they wanted to be an asshole. Yeah… that would have been great for my love life. I don’t know if it could really be that much worse though.


Nice, classy photos, that you could show your mom. That’s it, I’m out of here for now. Peace out!

Saturday May 19, 2001

Old News / Forums

Huge Updates! (5:00PM EST) Jack
It’s an awesome day out! What a wonderful day! You all should be outside smelling the roses and chasing skirts! But no, you’re inside reading about my trivial little life. It’s all good cause I’ve got plenty to share with you. Did some drinking last night, which is always a good thing. Also watched the Caddyshack DVD and the Exorcist. Well, I watched about 10 minutes of the Exorcist. I passed out like 20 minutes into it. It was the uncut version so it had that seen where the chick was bleeding all over the place. If you thought that pictures was fucked up, check out these.

– Saggy Sex – Grandma Sex – Line Up – Flag Holder – Pickled –

– In The Army* – In The Army* – In The Army* – Milf- Milf –

– Milf – Milf – Milf –

* click at you own risk…..

I got one of the best fan signs yesterday, and I really want to post it, but I’m going to wait. The chick is fucking hot, but you’ll get to see her yourself soon. I’ll have to figure out some way to get more pictures once this little contest is over. Guys can enter this contest to, but I don’t want pictures of your nut sack hanging out. Just put in a public place and you’ll get a link on the main page. It’s just that simple!

After doing this site for almost a year now, I’ve come across some really fucked up shit. Most of it I don’t even post, I figure I’ll leave that to Stile. But I was wondering, do you want to see more shit like that? Or would you like more relationship stuff. I’ve got plenty of both, but I just want to get a feel for you want. Personally death pictures, snuff films, and donkey sex doesn’t really do anything for me. I think some of the worst shit is S & M crap that ends up in my inbox. Some of those pictures are the worst I’ve seen, and I can’t even believe some chicks are into that shit. To each his own, and I’ll step off my soap box now.

I’m bored, some one entertain me. Or maybe I should just look for some more dates at Adult Friend Finder. I had pretty good luck with that place. No real girlfriend material, but definitely some fun times. Check it out, it’s a free sign up, so what do you have to lose. I guess you could lose your virginity, but that’s a good thing. Now that there is a chick writing for the site (hopefully) you’ll be able to send her your love advice, and other shit like that. I’m guessing that all the lesbos will start righting in now. Which is totally encouraged. And if you want to take fan pictures, you know the address to send them in to.

– Jackasses United – Fatwillie – Rebel Alliance – Bad Ass Chick –

– Chelle – April – Villete – Nay – Amanda –

All those are sites that are much better than mine. Click them all!!

– Aria – Aria – Aria – Aria – Aria – Aria – Aria –

– Aria – Aria – Aria – Aria – Aria – Aria – Aria – Aria –

That’s one mighty fine example of the perfect woman. Why don’t they make girls like that in Western Mass? The only thing we’ve got here farmers and homies. And there isn’t even any decent farmer’s daughters! I think that’s for right now. Check back later for lot’s more cool shit!

Chat With Jack!

Friday May 18, 2001

Old News / Forums

Lesbian Stories(5:00PM EST)Jack
What’s better than looking at naked lesbian pictures? Having a bi-sexual chick that I know write her lesbian stories for the site. I’ve got the first of hopefully many X-Rated stories. And if you like those, and want to see more, maybe she’ll put on a little show. But you’ll have to ask her really really nice.

Click Here For Aimee’s Lesbian Story

Ok, so if you’re still here I guess you want to know a little bit more about what’s going on in my life. Well, I feel 100% better, so thank you to all the people who sent get well cards. They really made my day! So it’s back to normal schedule of drinking till 4 in the morning and waking up with a random chick in my bed. I’ve been blowing off the AOL girl lately, and it’s not for the reason you probably think. See, I need an independent girl. I can’t deal with a clingy girl in my life right now. My perfect chick will be able to deal when I say I want to hang out with my friends, and she wont get jealous when I don’t go out with her. This girl was getting mad when I didn’t go out with her these last couple of days. And it’s not like I was out with other people, I was making friends with the shitter and my bed. Imagine if I just wanted to go out with some friends. I’m just glad I found out, instead of a few months down the road.

How fucking cool is that? I never really pictured myself as a celeb, but if girls are creaming their jeans when they talk to me, it can’t be a bad thing. Most of the time when people IM me, they just say and disappear. Don’t feel scared or anything to talk to me, I’m just a regular guy. It’s cool to talk to people who dig the site. People tell me what they like, what they don’t, and want they want to see more of. Although this site is about me, it’s for all of you too. I’m going to be adding some movie reviews, and some video game reviews and shit like that, and of course lots of new porn and shit so look for that in the near future.

– American Jackass – The Campus Rag – Fugly – Freak Farm –

– Bonrop – Dawn Marie –

Good, high quality sites there. Check them out and check them out often. That’s about it for right now. See ya later.

Old News / Forums

Cocktails First(12:00AM EST) Jack
Bored, bored, and more bored. I finally feel a little bit better, but I should be passed out right now. Instead I’m trying to make an entertaining post for everyone. Which I will probably fail at, but that’s alright. I can’t be a winner all the time.

abc.jpg (41118 bytes)

Another cool ass picture from zen@bannedfrom1515.comI’ve got three more that he made for the site so those will be going up shortly. I can’t wait to see this fucking movie! I’m actually kind of glad they moved the release date back a couple of weeks. This way I don’t have to wait to see American Pie 2. Sometimes things just work out for me, what can I say.

My roommate just came down and said she saw the ghost again. She was coming in the house and she saw some one sitting on the couch, she though it was me, but I was in the basement the whole time. Now I’ve never seen the thing, but I’ve heard it a couple of times. She thinks I’ll be the first one to go if it decides to attack, but I think I’m pretty safe in the basement. Don’t mass murdering ghosts usually start at the top floor and work there way down? Maybe I’ll leave the web cam on all night and get a picture of it. Or maybe you can just watch me get butchered on camera! Think that would boost my hits?

From: Ratatak
Subject: Hi
Hello Jack
I know we link each other but I don’t think we’ve emailed before (?)
There’s two sites that I read on a daily basis – yours and Damon’s (Chimptopia) – I guess I relate to egomaniacs 😉
Anyway, I too read what that guy wrote about IWANG on the comments board at Classorsex. The part about you being a loser was out of order and his analyst would probably put it down to him having a really small penis but it does raise an interesting point.

I your response you say ‘See I try and give the people what they want…’ Look at The Stileproject. He DOES give people what most of them want, the site traffic he gets proves that, but look at all the fucking grief he gets too! I guess it’s an occupational hazard when you become successful. I don’t think it matters how you build up traffic, whether it’s with porn or quality posting, someone will always be there waiting to take a cheap shot.

I just wish you hadn’t given the guy any credibility by posting a response in the first place. You post what the fuck you want but I just come for the text not the tits.


See, now that is just plain cool. I get a lot of shit emails, and I get some really good ones. But I think it’s fucking awesome when a fellow webmaster takes the time to send out a well thought email. I just get that warm fuzzy feeling inside.

From: April Joy
Subject: tits for hits
Hiya Jack, took some new pics today for your fan signs area.

– April

Am I worthy of your webmistresses side bar link list?

– To Me – To Me – To Me – To Me – To Me –

Ask, and you shall receive. I wanna see those tits though!But yes you do get a link on the left hand side like everyone else. I’ve been slacking on updating that, so if you think you’re deserving of one, send me an email. If you’re some geocities site asking me for a link without linking me first, forget about it. If you’re a quality site that I like, then you’ll probably get linked.

Well it’s 12:00 and I want to be asleep by 1:00 tonight so that’s it for now. Tomorrow I’ve got a lesbian story to post from this chick that I met. Maybe I’ll get to hang with her again, cause after this story you’ll be begging for more. Hopefully with me involved! Remeber those are the last of the Tits for Hits pictures until I get #100 so send them in!

Thursday May 17, 2001

Old News / Forums

Sick as a Dog (9:00PM EST) Jack
I feel like I’m dieing right now…. My head is caving in, I can’t breathe, and my stomach can only hold down some soup. The fucked up thing is that I never get sick, but when I do it’s the fucking worst. The last time I felt this bad was when I living on the Cape and going out with the best girl. I remember she would sneak out of her house late at night so she could spend a couple hours with me. She would have to sneak back in at 6 before her mom woke up, but she never complained once. She would also come over with Papa Gino’s pizza, breadsticks, and 2 liter bottle of Coke ( my favorite meal ) just to see me smile. Too bad I fucked that up by cheating on her twice, but I blame that on my youthful inexperience.

So last night I watched Blade Runner. Well, I’d like to say I watched it, but between running breaks to the bathroom, and blowing my nose, and falling asleep, I caught about 1/3rd of it. Maybe I’ll try again tonight, but I really should just go to bed. Or maybe watch Chasing Amy for the millionth time. I did get some new DVDs so maybe I’ll pop one of those in. Or I’ll have my maid go cook me some food, and get some movies from Blockbuster. That’s if I let her out of the kitchen first. She’s usually pretty good about coming back right away, and she doesn’t really talk to much…..

The other movie that I kind of watched was Event Horizon. I had seen it awhile back and it’s not that bad. Pretty dumb and predictable, but that’s what I needed when I could barely concentrate on anything. Sometimes dumb movies are pretty good.

Since I haven’t posted a lot of relationship shit in the last few months, I figure I better get my act together. So here’s a small little thing on the act of flirting.

The Dirt on Flirting

One thing I like about not being in a relationship is the fact that I can go out and flirt with any chick that I want, and I don’t have to worry about being busted. A few of my ex-girlfriends say that I flirt a little too much, but what can I say, I’m a people person. It’s not my fault that after talking to a chick for five minutes she wants to jump my bones….

1. Smiles, and Asks Questions: This might seem like a no-brainer, but it’s a perfect guide to see what she’s into. If she starts asking you a lot of questions, she totally interested in you, and wants to a lot more about you. If she wants to more about you, then she’s sizing you up to see if you’re her type. If you pass, you’re one step closer to having those panties around her ankle.

2. Eye Contact: Always make eye contact… Just as when you’re getting a blow job and the girl is looking right into your eyes, it’s the same way with flirting. Make constant eye contact, and you’re golden.

3. Talk about Sex: If you notice that chick you want to bang is always talking about sex, then you’re on the right track. Try having conversations about sex. Since my mind is always in the gutter, I can turn any conversation to sex in about 2 seconds. This can backfire though, so make sure she’s into it before you start talking about sex in public places.

4. Compliments: Here’s an easy one. If she compliments the way you dress, how you look, and other shit, you’re good. If she says you dress like her old grandfather, time to lose the high pants and get some baggy ones.

5. Frequent Touching: This was happening to me the other night. Me and the AOL girl were at the bar and we were drinking a few beers. She couldn’t keep her hands off me the whole time though! It’s not like she was grabbing for my package, but she kept touching me. This is always a good thing, and it’s a great sign.

Yeah, so that’s my little preview into more relationship advice. Remember I wrote that shit with a fever of 102 degrees and hallucinations all over the keyboard. I’m surprised English is even being written down right now. Maybe later tonight I’ll be able to post something worthwhile. I’ve got some new fan pictures and a really cool email. I usually get a ton of shit in my Inbox, but one’s like I’m going to post make doing this shit worthwhile.

Click Here To Use The Chat Room

Click Here For Chicks That Are Ready Willing and Able

Ok so let’s see what else I have in my bag of tricks for everyone tonight. I’m working on a page dedicated to the MILFs of the world. Should be pretty cool if I ever finish it.

From: Mort
Subject: can’t relate to your girl problems, but….
g’day jack,
i just thought i’d give you a shout since i’ve been coming to your website for awhile. i must say, you seem to date an awful lot for a guy who can’t get a new girlfriend. maybe your just too picky? personally i take whatever comes my way as long as she’s not a 200kg hose beast.. oh, and she’s gotta have a nice mug too. anyways, i thought i’d mention my website to you. it’s called sluts & losers and it’s located over at . feel free to come and browse, perhaps even throwing me a plug or two? mebbe even some linkage eh?
well, keep up the good work
– mort

For all the people who beg to have their site linked, this is probably the best way to do it. Put out a high quality site and then email me. Of course I like it better when my link is up there too, but I can’t complain too much. So check out all the Sluts and Losers, plus there’s a bunch of other good stuff like cam girls, and shit. Speaking of good shit, here’s another site you should visit. Remember the Elian flash animation? Well here’s that’s this guy’s site. There’s a bunch of other flash shit and some good porn.

Monster Sex Videos


Frankenstein and the Pig-Tailed Girl, what a combination. I wonder if I could get a chick to bang me while I’m wearing a mask. Well, maybe with my looks, I’d do better with a mask. Here’s what happens when biking goes bad. Good thing I traded in my bike for a computer years ago. I used to be big into biking until I got my license that is. After you can drive, what’s the point of biking around everywhere? I just don’t understand it….

I think that’s it for right now. I don’t really have anything more to say and my head is fucking killing me. If you’ve got something for me, send an email, or send me an instant message.

Wednesday May 16, 2001

Old News / Forums

Graduation! (9:00PM EST) Jack
Not mine though. I was the Hu Ke Lau last night and it was Westfield State’s graduation party. It was pretty cool, way too many cops there though. I think the funniest part of the night was the kid with the credit card. We all know that person, it’s the guy who gets wasted and decides he’s going to flash the plastic. Now the credit card guy is not a bad person to hang out with. Because as the night goes on and the drunker he gets the more drinks he’ll buy. This guy last night was buying drinks for the whole bar, and I wasn’t complaining at all.

– Tabitha – Tabitha – Tabitha – Tabitha – Tabitha – Tabitha –

I think the only thing that’s wrong with that chick is totally shaved pussy. See I don’t want to digging through the bush to get there, but I like a little landing strip to guide me to the promised land. Beggers can’t be choosers though so I will take what I can get.

From: Cameron
Subject: What’s Up?
Hey Jack,
You know me a little bit, “cbutters” on AIM. as you
know I make a few sites of my own, and have been
reading yours regularly since it was all green images
down the side with a grey backgound, way back in the

Holy shit, I remember that gay layout. I wish I had some screenshots of what this site looked like back in the day. When I first started I had like 5 sections on the left and they were all mouseovers. Ah, the good old days when stupid shit like that seemed pretty cool to me. Not like the site now is that much better.

Well, anyways, I have been working on a new
website called “T.A.K.A” or “Tits N’ Ass Kick Ass” I was wondering if you
would hook me up with a link, and I hope you enjoy my
site, I have linked you already, and attached are a
few pictures to sweeten the deal.
Thanks if you hook me up with a link, otherwise thanks
for havin a cool site.

I don’t normally do that, but this guy is pretty cool and it’s not that bad of a site. So check it out, you wont be that disappointed. Here’s another site that will entertain you. Tits, ass, and other good stuff. Since I’m throwing out links, I might as well plug Amanda for the 50th time this week. She sent me over 200 hits today, so I kind of owe her. Plus she supplying the New Chat Room so check that out too. It’s hella fun and sometimes I even pop in there for a little bit.

From: Talkin-Shit
Subject: for you baby
2 pictures attached for you. if u wanna post them, its on you, but i’d rather u do the first one because i want to be your first black girl and my body wants u. i love u. bye!


– Resha – Resha –

I hate to make this girl feel bad, but I think Neena took the very first black fan pictures. But keep them coming, I love em! Especially the Black and Asian ones. But that doesn’t mean you white girls need to be left out. You can send in your pictures too.

I’d do this chick if I had the chance. Too bad her site is wicked ugly, but I think she’s from Massachusetts. So if you end up reading this Michelle or whatever your name is, why don’t give a brother a call?

– Hot Biker Chick – Hot Biker Chick – Hot Chick Flashing Old Guy –

How come that shit doesn’t happen in my neighborhood? Well, maybe I’m kinda glad. Other wise there would be a bunch of old ladies whose tits got caught in their spokes. Always be careful what you wish for, because you might just get it. Imagine going to some nude beach and seeing a bunch of naked old people? Not that most pleasant thing in the world. But pictures of a FSU stripping down from her bikini is a good thing.

– FSU – FSU – FSU – FSU – FSU – FSU – FSU – FSU –

Yeah, now that’s the good stuff. Check out this Yahoo Club if you have an ID. There’s a couple of chicks running it, and I think they get naked or something. So the more people that sign up, the more naked pictures there are. It’s a good thing, trust me. Now if they will only take some pictures for my site I’ll be able to die a happy man.

– Laundry Day – Phone Your Girlfriend? – Smoking – Got Watermelon? –

– Ball Buster Night – Toaster Ovens – Store Sex –

This update was brought to you by the makes of No – Doz and Jolt Cola. The two things that are keeping me awake right now. Don’t expect too much from me tonight. I might be on camera while watching Blade Runner, but that will be the extent of my updating. There might be some good stuff to watch on Friday night, but I might be getting a little ahead of myself. Just stay tuned, and I’ll keep the updates coming.

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