– Saturday April 19 – 2003 :: I Want a New Girlfriend

Boooooored (12:00PM EST) Jack
The woman just took off for class so I guess it’s time for a small update. I’ve thrown in Stealing Harvard with Jason Lee, it kinda sucks so it’s just another reason to write something for the site. It looks like it might actually be a decent day out today so I hope you’re not all stuck inside like me.

Last night we were going to see Phone Booth, but instead we just got pretty drunk and partied like rock stars. It’s good times I tell you. I’ll be hurting tonight, but for right now I feel alright.

Some buddies of mine have been traveling across Europe and they’ve been sending me pictures of the chicks that they bang. I swear I’m missing out by living in Western Mass. Oh well, I guess I’ll just live vicariously through them…..

Click here for tons more pictures!!!

The Laws of Love and Dating

  1. If you meet a woman, and you like her, then she… has a jealous boyfriend 6’4″ 280 pounds is a confirmed lesbian only wants to be friends doesn’t notice you’re even alive
  2. About who tries to pick you up; if you’re: heterosexual, then homosexuals will try homosexual, then heterosexuals will try bi-sexual, then, no one will try with someone special, everyone will try
  3. About finding love; if you: hope you found it, you’ll be disappointed think you found it, you’re wrong believe you found it, you’re misinformed have found it, you won’t know until too late
  4. About winning/losing; if you: don’t have anything to lose, you won’t win have something to lose, you’ll lose it do win, it’s only so you can lose more later
  5. If she appears to be having a good time, it’s because: she’s fanaticizing, and not of you, either she’s been eyeing-up someone else she’s trying to make someone jealous
  6. About dating, if she: arrives with a man, it’s the boyfriend she never told you about, and he has a few “questions” for ya arrives with her girlfriend, it’s because she wants some protection, not for anything kinky comes alone, it’s because she looks at you as a friend; there isn’t a chance you’ll ever be more either

Here’s a fun little trick to play on your friends. Have them say silk three times in the row and then ask then what a cow drinks. Most people (because they are retarded) will say milk. Of course all us smart people will say water, because cows give milk, not drink it. See how many people you can prove your advanced intellect too.

Monday June 16 – 2003 :: I Want a New Girlfriend

I Need To Learn How To Play Golf (9:00PM EST) Jack
Click on the picture for a larger and much better picture of the streaker fromthe 103rd U.S. Open championship. It’s too bad computer dorks like myself neverget treated to girls running up to me half naked. Someday the beautiful women ofthe world will look at me and feel the need to strip, get down on their knees,and give me good head. Until that day I guess I’ll just have to be satisfiedwith Monica, and yes, she does give excellent head.

I was kind of hoping that this weekend would never end. I had an awesome timeat the Red Sox game, thanks for asking. We had great seats, the sun was shining,and the game lasted 14 innings. It sucks when they stop serving booze in theseventh, but hey what can ya do. I got to see a couple of fights in thebleachers, and the Red Sox won so all was good that day.

Like intheVIP girls?Check out this site for the hottest club girls on the net. I snapped thesepictures right down the street so you know they’re legit!

As much as I’m looking forward to summer, I’m going to have toget my learn on for at least a month in July. I’m taking this bullshitprogramming class, and since it’s for big dorks like myself, the chances ofthere being any hot broads in there is slim to none. The class itself is only amonth and runs from 8 till 10 in the morning, so I guess it’s not too bad. I’llkeep ya updated on how it goes.

Marty wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forceshimself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirinsand a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing infront of him, all clean and pressed. Marty looks around the room and sees thatit is in a perfect order, spotless, clean. So’s the rest of the house. He takesthe aspirins and notices a note on the table “Honey, breakfast is on thestove, I left early to go shopping. Love you.”

So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and themorning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.

Marty asks, “Son, what happened last night?”

His son says, “Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and delirious.Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye whenyou stumbled into the door.”

Confused, Marty asks, “So, why is everything in order and so clean, andbreakfast is on the table waiting for me?”

His son replies, “Oh that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when shetried to take your pants off, you said, “Lady, leave me alone, I’mmarried’!”

Gay Bob goes to the doctor office and has some tests run. The doctor comes backand says “Bob, I’m not going to beat around the bush, you have AIDS”.Bob is devastated.

“Doc, what can I do?”

“Eat 1 link of sausage, 1 head of cabbage, 20 unpeeled carrots drenchedin hot sauce, 10 Habanero peppers, 40 walnuts, 40 peanuts, 1 huge box ofGrapenuts cereal, and top it off with a gallon of prune juice.”

Bob asks, “Will that cure me?”

Doc says, “No, but it should leave you with a better understanding ofwhat your ass is really for.”

YourLink Here?!?

Aquarius261985:Hi 🙂
iwangworld: where you from?
Aquarius261985:North Attleboro
iwangworld: cool
Aquarius261985:YUp
iwangworld: i heard the girls from there put out
Aquarius261985:Oh really..LoL.. Well im not orginally from here soo
iwangworld: where you from originally?
Aquarius261985:Mansfield Haha
iwangworld: yeah the bigger sluts are from mansfield
iwangworld: what do you like to do for fun?
Aquarius261985:Oh really
Aquarius261985:UM, Beach,Mall,Friends,Party, shit like that ya know
Aquarius261985:wat about u
iwangworld: hits the bars go gambling
iwangworld: fuck girls from NorthAttleboro
Aquarius261985:I c
Aquarius261985:how old are u
iwangworld: 12
Aquarius261985:ur 12 but u get into bars..
Aquarius261985:riight
iwangworld: i have an awesome id
iwangworld: how old r u?
Aquarius261985:i bet
Aquarius261985:18
iwangworld: not bad
iwangworld: i like older women
iwangworld: you do anal?
Aquarius261985:Nah
iwangworld: threesome’s?
Aquarius261985:never tried it
iwangworld: i bet you munch carpet
Aquarius261985:nope
iwangworld: c’mon
iwangworld: not even once?
Aquarius261985:Nope
iwangworld: make out with a girl?
Aquarius261985:ya ive done that
iwangworld: did you like it?
Aquarius261985:it was aight
iwangworld: so how did it happen?
Aquarius261985:Dont really remember we were drunk and someone told us to do it
iwangworld: and what were you wearing?
Aquarius261985:dont know it was a long time ago
iwangworld: cheerleader outfits
iwangworld: that’s pretty hot
iwangworld: so are you shaved?
Aquarius261985:ya.
iwangworld: like totally shaved?Previous message was not received by Aquarius261985 because of error: UserAquarius261985 is not available. is not available.

Bad Girlfriends :: I Want a New Girlfriend

Well this page has been blank long enough. Time to write some stories about bad girlfriends. Everyone has had a girlfriend that they hated. She whined, complained, and bitched about everything. So check out some of these girls and realize that maybe she wasn’t that bad.

Lorena Bobbitt – This is probably the worst girlfriend ever. She took her husband’s manroot chopped it off, and then chucked it in a field. Seeing her on the news makes men across the world look down and shudder. Stay away from this woman at all time.

Kathy Lee Gifford – Another real winner girlfriend. She’s a religious nut, psychotic mother, and all around loser. She complains that her kids are exposed by the press, but then she dresses them up and puts them in dumb Christmas specials. No wonder Frank got it on with a flight attendant. Kathy must be stiff as a board in bed, that’s even if she puts out.

Roseanne– Jesus Christ what can I say about this woman? She’s annoying, fat, ugly, a slob, but she is rich. I think that is the only reason Tom got it on with her. I don’t know if that is worth it though. I can’t imagine waking up next to her every morning.

Everyone has had a bad girlfriend at one time or another. We all know what they are like, annoying, bitchy, whiny, and tons of other bad stuff. If you are stuck with a bad girlfriend right now, or you just want to bitch about how your girlfriend sucks. Send me an email. I’ll post your story and a picture of the girl too if you would like. As men we have band together and make sure that bad girlfriends are eradicated from this world.

Maria Delsol’s Live Room | Fuck a Cam Girl – Live Cam Girls

Web wide crawl with initial seedlist and crawler configuration from March 2011. This uses the new HQ software for distributed crawling by Kenji Nagahashi.

What’s in the data set:

Crawl start date: 09 March, 2011
Crawl end date: 23 December, 2011
Number of captures: 2,713,676,341
Number of unique URLs: 2,273,840,159
Number of hosts: 29,032,069

The seed list for this crawl was a list of Alexa’s top 1 million web sites, retrieved close to the crawl start date. We used Heritrix (3.1.1-SNAPSHOT) crawler software and respected robots.txt directives. The scope of the crawl was not limited except for a few manually excluded sites.

However this was a somewhat experimental crawl for us, as we were using newly minted software to feed URLs to the crawlers, and we know there were some operational issues with it. For example, in many cases we may not have crawled all of the embedded and linked objects in a page since the URLs for these resources were added into queues that quickly grew bigger than the intended size of the crawl (and therefore we never got to them). We also included repeated crawls of some Argentinian government sites, so looking at results by country will be somewhat skewed.

We have made many changes to how we do these wide crawls since this particular example, but we wanted to make the data available “warts and all” for people to experiment with. We have also done some further analysis of the content.

If you would like access to this set of crawl data, please contact us at info at archive dot org and let us know who you are and what you’re hoping to do with it. We may not be able to say “yes” to all requests, since we’re just figuring out whether this is a good idea, but everyone will be considered.

When to Lose Your Virginity :: I Want a New Girlfriend

Virginity is what every guy is trying to lose since he discovered what the penis is for. I remember in high school losing your virginity was a pretty big deal. It bumped you up in the social standings, and even got you more play. But nowadays we see stories of girls as little as 11 years old not only losing their virginity but, fucking getting pregnant. What’s up with that? At 11 I was still interested in G.I. Joe’s and baseball cards. Maybe that’s why I was a late bloomer, but we’ll talk more about that later.

So when should you lose your virginity? As young as possible or wait until the sacred night of your marriage? I think somewhere in between there. Don’t be such a prude that you’re giving your boyfriend blue-balls every night, but don’t be the town slut either. Most people do find that middle ground, and make life happy.

Pros For Waiting For Sex:

1. No Pregnancies: Pregnancies are what scare me the most about sex. Although I’ve had some close calls, but been relatively safe. There’s no way I could deal with having a kid right now, I’m still a kid myself. Imagine all the little runts running around on the web cam??

2. No STD’s: STD’s are a pretty scary thing too. Who wants to wake up one morning with herpes, or something worse. Everytime you sleep with someone you’re fucking every person they have done too. Nice thing to think about while your girlfriend is moaning on the bed…… If you’re being celibate you don’t have to worry about any of this stuff.

3. Sex Complicates: Ever heard the expression “Sex always changes everything.” Well, it does big time. Say you have this wicked cool friend who you hang with, and just kick back and relax with. Then you go and stick your manroot in her coochie. Things will never be the same. Shit will change between you guys, and you’ll wish you could take back the throws of passion. But you can’t and you’re stuck with the memories of hot, sweaty, kinky, dirty sex. I guess it’s not that bad of a thing.

Pros For Having Sex:
1. You get laid.
2. Your manroot gets some action.
3. Probably gonna feel some boobies.
4. Gonna get cooter.

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Layout, Ideas, Opinions, HTML, and Coding © I Want a New Girlfriend.
Much of the content on this site has been “liberated” from other websites.
If you are the rightful copyright holder to anything on here, please contact me.
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Wednesday May 28 – 2003 :: I Want a New Girlfriend

I’m Bored (11:00AM EST) Jack
Well, after an awesome three days in the wilderness it’s back to realityfor your buddy Jack. I had an awesome time camping if you care (which you don’t)but thanks for asking. It was really tough leaving my cabin, not only because Iwas so hung over that I couldn’t walk, but because it was just a good time. Igot to fish, grill, look at some rednecks, and basically get laid a lot. Ifyou’ve never been camping it’s something I highly recommend.

But since I’m back in civilization I guess it’s time to get some pornoflowing on the site. Here’s a small sample of girlswho like to party in the vip. Check out the pics, I’m sure you’re goingto be just as impressed as I am.

Before Imet Monica, it was tough for me to go out and get laid. That was until I signedup for my personals service. There’s girls who want to just have random sex,have relationships, or whip you until your ass is raw. I tell you, there’s agirl for every one there. Check it out, you wont be disappointed!

Random Sites

Out of a lack of anything better to do, I went to see the Matrixagain last night. Going and seeing it again totally makes me like this movieeven more. I seriously can’t wait until the third one comes out, and luckilyit’s only 5 short months away.

I have to ask.. isa site like this really neccessary? Is there really a demand for afucking retarded doll? I can understand having black dolls and fat dolls, butdoes a retarded kid really need to have a doll with droopy eyes? I know I’mgoing to hell for doing this, but if you’re retarded I think a paper bag wouldmake a nice toy, or even a plastic bag…

I’m working on a bigger update, so check back in an hour or two.

– Saturday April 26 – 2003 :: I Want a New Girlfriend

End of the Semester (5:00PM EST) Jack
Well it’s finally the end of the semester and your good buddy Jack needsa little help. Finals are just around the corner and I need some quick answersfor the last couple of problems of the year. If you’re good at either FiniteCalculus, or C++ programming throwme over an email and maybe we can talk a little shop. I’d be willing topay some good green if any one is interested in making a little cash for doingsome simple stuff.

It’s a crappy day out today and that gives me the opportunity to get somework done on the site. I’ve redone the the Archives, added some new galleriesand basically just expanded everything. This is just the beginning, because thissummer I’m taking IWANG up a notch so be ready for more porn and everything elsethat you love about the site.

A sweet little girl runs out to the backyardwhere her father is working and asks him, “Daddy, what’s sex?”

So, her father sits her down and tells her allabout the birds and the bees. He tells her about conception, sexual intercourse,sperms and eggs. He tells her about puberty, menstruation, erections andwet-dreams. Then he thinks, what the hell, and goes on to tell her the wholeworks, thinking that to tell it all is the only way to tell the truth.

The girl is quite awestruck with this suddeninflux of bizarre new knowledge. Her father finally asks, “So what made youwish to know about sex?”

“Oh, mommy said lunch would be ready in acouple of secs…”

There are three blondes stranded on an island.Suddenly a fairy appears and offers to grant each one of them one wish. Thefirst blonde asks to be intelligent. Instantly, she is turned into a brownhaired woman and she swims off the island.

The next one asks to be even more intelligentthan the previous one, so instantly she is turned into a black haired woman. Theblack haired woman builds a boat and sails off the island.

The third blonde asks to become even moreintelligent than the previous two. The fairy turns her into a man, and he walksacross the bridge.

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A man and his grandson are fishing by apeaceful lake beneath some weeping willow trees. The man takes out a cigaretteand lights it.
His grandson says, “Grandpa, Can I try some of your cigarette?”

“Can you touch your asshole with yourpenis?” he says.
“No,” says the little boy.
“Then you’re not big enough.”

A few more minutes pass, and the man takes abeer our of his cooler and opens it.
The little boy says, “Grandpa, can I have some of your beer?”
“Can you touch your asshole with your penis?”, he says.
“No,” says the little boy.
“Then you’re not old enough.”
Time passes and they continue to fish. The little boy gets hungry and he reachesinto his lunch box, takes out a bag of cookies and eats one.
The grandfather looks at him and says, “Hey they look good. Can I have oneof your cookies?”

“Can you touch your asshole with yourpenis?” says the little boy.
“I most certainly can!” says the grandfather.
“Then go fuck yourself,” says the boy, “These are mycookies!”

Tuesday April 22 – 2003 :: I Want a New Girlfriend

The Shady Lady (7:00PM EST) Jack
You’re friendly neighborhood porn maestro is back and ready to post more pictures and videos than your dick can handle. Before we get to all that fun stuff here’s a little bit about what’s going on with me. The semester is almost over and it’ll be nice to have a little break from the books. That’ll give me a little more time to hang out with the lady and work on the site. I’m hoping that most of my free time will be spent by the pool and not in front of the computer. It better be a fucking great summer after the shitty winter we had this year.

My one year anniversary is coming up, and I need some ideas on what I can do for the lady. We’re already going away for Memorial Day so I earned some bonus points there. But I need something good to do for the actual night. We’ll probably end up going to her favorite restaurant (McDonalds) and taking her back to my place for a minute of some good sex. She loves it… trust me.

One great thing about Spring is when all the hot college girls go south to party for one full week. Luckily some buddies of mine where there caught them all on tape. Here’s just a little taste of what they captured after the girls had just a tiny amount of alcohol.

Girls Get Crazy For You Right Here!!

Want more galleries of hot broads? Check out I Fuck Sluts, where I post pictures of all the girls I’ve slept with!

Sexy Amaya’s Live Room | Fuck a Cam Girl – Live Cam Girls

Web wide crawl with initial seedlist and crawler configuration from March 2011. This uses the new HQ software for distributed crawling by Kenji Nagahashi.

What’s in the data set:

Crawl start date: 09 March, 2011
Crawl end date: 23 December, 2011
Number of captures: 2,713,676,341
Number of unique URLs: 2,273,840,159
Number of hosts: 29,032,069

The seed list for this crawl was a list of Alexa’s top 1 million web sites, retrieved close to the crawl start date. We used Heritrix (3.1.1-SNAPSHOT) crawler software and respected robots.txt directives. The scope of the crawl was not limited except for a few manually excluded sites.

However this was a somewhat experimental crawl for us, as we were using newly minted software to feed URLs to the crawlers, and we know there were some operational issues with it. For example, in many cases we may not have crawled all of the embedded and linked objects in a page since the URLs for these resources were added into queues that quickly grew bigger than the intended size of the crawl (and therefore we never got to them). We also included repeated crawls of some Argentinian government sites, so looking at results by country will be somewhat skewed.

We have made many changes to how we do these wide crawls since this particular example, but we wanted to make the data available “warts and all” for people to experiment with. We have also done some further analysis of the content.

If you would like access to this set of crawl data, please contact us at info at archive dot org and let us know who you are and what you’re hoping to do with it. We may not be able to say “yes” to all requests, since we’re just figuring out whether this is a good idea, but everyone will be considered.