What’s your approach? Written By Madame XTC
Ok, so you’ve spotted her at the end of the bar, or across the crowded room. You think she may have looked at you a few times, but you aren’t absolutely sure. She’s talking to one of her girlfriends, sipping her drink. You think, “She’s the one” and you decide that you have to meet her. But what do you do next?
Option 1: Play it cool, joke around with your buddies about what a nice ass she has, and hope that she’ll come over and whisper “Take me home” in your ear. All I can say about this is “Good luck!”. And if she actually does it, it’s probably because she lost some kind of bet with her sorority sisters. There are certain natural laws in the universe, and one of them is that women DO NOT like to be the pursuer… they like to be the pursued. Someday, society might progress to the point where women feel comfortable approaching men, but there would have to be a MAJOR evolution in the male species in order for that to happen.
Option 2: Come up with some dazzling pickup line, wait until her friend goes to the bathroom or gets another drink, saunter over and feed her the line. Ok, so when has this EVER worked? Don’t underestimate women… they can smell a pickup line a mile a way. And if she acts like she’s falling for it, then she’s probably needy and desperate and would go home with just about anyone-AND she’ll probably start stalking you.
Option 3: Have a friend be your “buffer” by approaching them first, then introduce you later. Ha. If your friend has the nerve to go up and talk to these women, what’s going to keep him from hitting on her himself?
Option 4: Get really, really drunk and then ask her to dance. That way, if you make an ass out of yourself, you can blame it on the booze. Oh, just what every girl dreams of-a drunk guy asking her to dance! I can understand your fear of rejection, but be a man for once. Don’t make it seem like you’ve got your beer goggles on just looking to score.
Option 5: Have the DJ play “You’ve lost that Lovin’ feeling” and serenade her in front of everyone. I hate to break it to you, but you’re not Tom Cruise. You might get points for originality, but she’ll be so completely embarrassed that she’ll probably have to leave immediately. Save your serenade skills for your one-month anniversary. So, now that you know all the things NOT to do, what’s left? Well, my suggestion would be to put down your beer, check your breath, walk over to her, look her in the eyes, and say “Hi. My name is ______” and stick out your hand. At this point, one of two things is going to happen:
A.) She’s going to ignore you and you can crawl back to your barstool, finish getting drunk, and go home alone.
B.) She’s going to stick out her hand and tell you her name.
What have we learned here? Basically, women know within the first 5 seconds of meeting you whether or not they are interested in talking to you. Some women go to the bar or to parties to socialize and aren’t looking to get lucky, so if you come off like you’re trying to pick them up you’ll probably get shot down. You’re likely to get farther with girls if you just act like you want to meet them and not get them in the sack right away.
Here’s an example:
I was sitting in a Denny’s having breakfast, and a couple of booths away I noticed a guy that kept looking at me while he talked to a friend. When he got up the pay the check, he came over and quietly said “Hi. My name is Johnny, and I just wanted to tell you that seeing you smile has really made my day. Thank you.” And then (and this is the KEY here) he went to pay his bill. Of course, after about 10 seconds I had to chase after him because I thought that he was the most wonderful creature alive for saying that to me, and it was quite obvious that he didn’t want to bother me… but he let me know that he was interested. That’s all there is to it! I mean, the basic principle here is to let her know that you’ve noticed her and would like to get to know her-at this point you know it and she knows it! If she’s not interested, then she’ll just let you walk away. But, you can find solace in the fact that she probably has a lot more respect for you than if you would have tried some cheesy line.
Try it, and let me know what happens