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Wednesday May 28 - 2003

I'm Bored (11:00AM EST) Jack
Well, after an awesome three days in the wilderness it's back to reality for your buddy Jack. I had an awesome time camping if you care (which you don't) but thanks for asking. It was really tough leaving my cabin, not only because I was so hung over that I couldn't walk, but because it was just a good time. I got to fish, grill, look at some rednecks, and basically get laid a lot. If you've never been camping it's something I highly recommend. 

But since I'm back in civilization I guess it's time to get some porno flowing on the site. Here's a small sample of girls who like to party in the vip. Check out the pics, I'm sure you're going to be just as impressed as I am.

Before I met Monica, it was tough for me to go out and get laid. That was until I signed up for my personals service. There's girls who want to just have random sex, have relationships, or whip you until your ass is raw. I tell you, there's a girl for every one there. Check it out, you wont be disappointed!

Random Sites

Out of a lack of anything better to do, I went to see the Matrix again last night. Going and seeing it again totally makes me like this movie even more. I seriously can't wait until the third one comes out, and luckily it's only 5 short months away.

I have to ask.. is a site like this really neccessary? Is there really a demand for a fucking retarded doll? I can understand having black dolls and fat dolls, but does a retarded kid really need to have a doll with droopy eyes? I know I'm going to hell for doing this, but if you're retarded I think a paper bag would make a nice toy, or even a plastic bag...

I'm working on a bigger update, so check back in an hour or two.

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Sunday May 25 - 2003

More Quality Porn - cman

Don't have a whole lot to talk about today, so this will be short. I thought I would try to pick up the slack while Jack is off partying it up with his women.

I just found this site the other day, but it seems to have been around for a while because it has a very extensive archive. The site is www.yoozer.nl. Its a really great source for a whole shitload of pictures. Looks like they have serveral thousand pictures on there and from the ones I've seen they are very high quality. A wide range of people from pornstars to celebrities and some random hot girls as well.

Sorry, haha, I just realized that kinds of sounds like a commercials. I swear I am in no way affiliated with "Yoozers", I just thought it was a cool site and wanted to share it with you.

Speaking of sites with a ton of high quality pictures, I just finished adding another 8 or 9 galleries to exp0sed, so check it out too! If you don't mind, please click on some of the ads so I can make money haha

Hey! Its my birthday next Saturday! Big 2-3. Can't wait to go out and get trashed, should be fun = )

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Friday May 23 - 2003

How to Get a Threesome (5:00PM EST) Jack

Here's a pretty good guide to getting yourself a threesome. Hopefully we'll see some more articles from this guy. 

Threesomes, when we hear the word we instantly think of the last porno we saw, and how much fun it looks to have two girls. Sadly many people think this is an unattainable goal in life and therefore don’t pursue it. I however decided to go for it, and what do you know, I had a threesome the first weekend I tried for one. I’m not a pimp or a player; I’m also not the most handsome guy in the world. I’m just an average Joe who is confident. I’m writing to not share my personal experiences, but more to offer general advice for fellow threesome seekers out there.

Step 1) Make friends with girls who love sex. While this step may seem like a basic thing for some, other it may seem incredibly difficult. My best advice is to be social and outgoing and just talk about sex to girls a lot. Eventually you’ll meet a few who want to have sex with you.
Step 2) Get one girl into the idea. The common mistake most guys make when seeking a threesome is they try to talk two girls into at once. While this may work if the girls are good friends or bi-sexual lesbian partners, in general this is makes having a threesome a lot harder. The easiest way is by far to get one girl interested at a time. The best way to do this is just too casually bring it up in a conversation about sex with a friend. “You ever want to have a threesome?” In my opinion, this is actually the best line to find out if they’re interested. A side note on picking the girl, I have never done this with a girlfriend, and I find many people are uncomfortable having sex with two people in love. It is much easier to actually have two girls if both the girls are just friends of yours or even just people you know like sex.
Step 3) Together bring the third party in. Here lies the tricky part. So you have a nice girl lined up to fuck you and who is willing to have a threesome, good for you. Now together you have to convince a third person to engage in the mighty act. I found the best method is to find a girl who is willing to have a threesome, or just likes sex and entice them into the threesome. For instance, invite both girls out to hang out with you. One of them knows they are looking for a threesome and the other is oblivious. After spending some time bonding as friends invite them both over to your place and if they both agree you’ve completed the hardest step.
Step 4) Lets have sex! Okay you have to hopefully good looking women in your house, but how does one engage in the actual threesome itself? I find the best method honestly is to lighten the mood with a game like strip poker. This may seem corny but most girls will be game and it gets everyone naked comfortably. The next step is to invite the girls either to your bedroom or to take a shower. Once you get them into the bed or shower the world is your stage.
Step 5) Enjoy yourself! The key to enjoying threesome sex is to not take it seriously. You’re not “making love” to your girlfriend or wife, you’re fucking two girls. Crack jokes, fool around, toss pillows, do whatever you want! Whenever I’ve had threesome the mood was always so uplifting and happy and that is part of their charm. If you’re not enjoying it then you’re doing something wrong.

Well that concludes my guide to having sex with two women. I swear if you can talk to women then you can have sex with two of them. I had my first threesome using this method when I was 17 years old, and found that all that matters is the social skills. It of course helps to be good looking and well built, but hey it still works for me. Good luck and happy fucking.

Vacation Time! (12:00PM EST) Jack
In just a few short hours I'll be leaving to go camping for the weekend. I've got a cabin the the woods, and it's full of beers, burgers, and babes. It's going to be one long weekend drinking of until I can't stand, smoking till I can't breathe, and making the sex like it's going out of style. It's to bad that the weather isn't going to be nicer, but the place does have a heated pool so I guess that's a bonus.�

Check out my new personals!! Whether you're looking to get laid, get whipped, or just find a nice girl, we've got them all right here!

It's going to be nice to take a little break from computers, cell phones, and internet porn for a few days. This is like my first vacation since I took off to Florida with Wondergirl last year. I hope you people all have a great Memorial Day, and don't get bombed or anything. I'll be out in the middle of fucking nowhere, so I'm pretty sure I'm safe.

Here's a story from one of the local newspapers in the are.

Suspect shot by police dies
May 23, 2003

A man shot by police after leading them on a car chase through two towns, and ending at a Monson strip club, has died. Mark Merrill, 36, died of gunshot wounds late Wednesday night at Baystate Medical Center. Merrill was reportedly shot three times, in the foot, chest and head, by Monson Police Sergeant Robert Shumaker. It started earlier Wednesday when Merrill was pulled over in a routine traffic stop. Merrill reportedly threatened a Monson officer with a large knife and then took off.

His car was then found behind the Magic Lantern on route 20. Inside, Shumaker reportedly approached Merrill, who threatened the sergeant with a large barbeque fork. NEWS40 has also learned that Merrill's ex-wife is a former Monson police officer.

See this is how bad the cops are in this area. First the kid has a large knife, and is able to somehow get away from the cops in Monson. Then traveling through the back roads of a couple of hick towns, leads the cops to one of the worst strip clubs you've ever had the displeasure of not seeing. Then after holding a FORK the cops shoot him THREE times!! Are they so retarded that they could not somehow get the FORK away from this kid??? I have nothing against police, but there is going to be a serious lawsuit against these chuckleheads. Next time you guys feel like shooting some one, make sure they're holding something more than a utensil!!

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More to come in a little bit... Check back soon!

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Thursday May 22 - 2003

Webmaster Drug Stories Part #1 (12:00AM EST) Wolfy

What's up y'all, Wolfy from beerandshots.com  here. I figure since this seems to be turning into a free-for-all, I might as well get in!

Jack said something a few days ago about smoking crack, and how all webmasters should just admit that they smoke the shit every now and then... I agree! And to prove my sincerity, I'll let you read about my most recent excursion into the depths of depravity.

It was about 9 pm, and I was a little tossed from drinking close to a 12 pack. I'm always a bit more likely to cave in to my dark desires when I'm a bit tore up, and it's too early to go to bed. Luckily Unfortunately for me, there's a crack motel right up the road - I can ride my mountain bike to it (and not worry about getting pulled over in my new car) and pick up some yellow. It's pretty simple, all you do is ride around and look for the nastiest ho you've ever laid eyes on - she can hook you up, for sure! As you can guess, the tweaked out little snatch was peaking out of her curtains - her eyes saw a new face, her unstable brain saw a way to get a hit or two. Sure enough, out she comes, rubber-necking for signs of the police. When she didn't see any she strode up to me and starts making small talk.

Now, I was fucked up, but I was nowhere near fucked up enough to not realize this crackho was straight nasty. I mean sagging tits, a flat ass, 2 teeth, bug eyes - the works. Finally she asks me if I want a blowjob. Not any blowjob, but "...the best blowjob in the south, baby..." I didn't actually fall on the ground laughing, but I came close. Finally I told her "No, I just wanna have some fun another way". She sad she could hook me up, and we went to her room.

Click here for Club Girls Gone Wild!! (That link's for you Wolfy)

Ok, where was I? Oh yeah, I was in the dirty tramp's room waiting for the crackman to show up. He shows up, tries to pass a $10 rock as a $40, I tell him "Fuck you", he adds a little bit, I tell him "Fuck you" again, etc etc.. Finally it's right and he gets lost. I had told the wench I'd hook her up for hooking me up, so I stayed. Plus I don't indulge often enough to keep my own pipe, and I wanted to use hers rather than smoke out of a can.

A couple of hits into it, my head starts buzzing. Really fucking buzzing - I close my eyes, breathe, run my fingers through my hair... You know, all the shit you do when you get a high like that. Suddenly I feel a tugging on my pants, and I think about the bitch going for my loot - but I never bring extra cash on a dope run, it's just stupid. The fact is, she was pulling my pants down! She mumbles something about sucking my cock for $10, I didn't care. "Do it, bitch". So she starts slobbing on my one eyed wonder, and I feel the scrape of those two lonely teeth. Holy shit! What the fuck am I DOING??!! Can anyone imagine what two teeth could do to my cock if she happened to go into a spasm??? It would be like a damn snake bite, and lord knows I could never be fucked up enough to sit still for that! Needless to say, the bitch ruined my high - I pulled up my pants, grabbed my bike and left the whore on her knees screaming "You were supposed to leave me some you fucker!!"

So which webmaster goes next?

I'd like to thank Wolfy again for posting such a classy story. Check out his site if you're into naked girls and stuff. And if you don't like it, you're probably a homo.

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Wednesday May 21 - 2003

The Star Wars Kid (5:00PM EST) Jack
I know it's old news, but as I sat watching the Star Wars Kid Video for the millionth time this morning,  Monica and I sat naked on my couch (yes we got back together) and could barely contain ourselves while watching this kid with a golf ball retriever dance around like a chucklehead. 

As funny as it is, I have to feel just a little bit bad. I wasn't what you would call a ladies man in high school, but I did alright. I kissed a few girls, felt a few boobies and all that good stuff. But I was a little overweight and a little dorky. I'm sure if there was an internet back then, I'd be on it. So here's this poor kid who never wanted this video seen in public pretending he's Darth Maul or something. I'll admit I've played Star Wars before, maybe not when I was 15, but I'm sure I did plenty of other dumb stuff 10 years ago. Shit I still do dumb stuff nowadays. 

The whole point of this is that most of the comments are pretty hateful towards this kid. It's funny because most of these comments come straight from Star Wars, Computer, and full on nerd message boards. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black... or however that saying goes. That website I just linked to is at least giving a little something back to the kid. They've set up a donation page and it's raised a little over $4000. Not too shabby for swinging around a pseudo light saber. The best part of this whole thing would be if the kid really did do all this on purpose, and is now raking in the cash. Now why couldn't I have thought of that?!

If you can read (which most of you can't) there's a new posted on the site. Make him feel welcome and check out his sites, they're all a lot classier than mine. Also I'm looking for a couple of other people to post here, so if you've got some writing talent (you can put sentences together) then you're more than welcome to submit some stuff. If you're good enough you'll probably get your own little section here.

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