Yes, I have cheated before. Yes, I have gotten away with it. Now that I’m older and a little bit wiser I do not condone cheating. It ends up hurting the one person you’re supposed to care the most for, and all you get is new poon. Is it worth it? Maybe, but you have to decide for yourself. Some people will always cheat, they wont stop, and they dont’ give a shit. This article is for everyone of you guys. If you’re going to cheat, don’t let your girlfriend find out. She’s better off not knowing. So read these tips and make sure you follow them to the letter.
1. Make sure you have an alibi. This is the first and most important step in the cheating process. If you’re blowing off your girlfriend to get some other pussy, make sure she doesn’t have any doubts. Tell her that you’re hanging out with your guy friends, and make she’ll cover for you. Family gatherings are always a good cover. Unless she is close to your side, and then it could backfire.
2. Don’t just cheat with some random stranger. Of course I know you can’t really plan which girl you’re going to sleep with, unless you’re playing for your poon. But try not to make it a a random hook up. Hook ups tend to leave hickeys, scratches, and other incriminating evidence. Girls who know what your situation is, may be more careful about getting you in trouble.
3. Clean up your mess. Laundry time fellas! Don’t slack off in this department. Women can smell another perfume miles away. Do the laundry right away, and make sure she didn’t leave anything behind. Cigarettes are the worst way to get caught. If you’re girlfriend notices a different brand of butts in the tray, you’re flat out busted. You want your cheating experience to be as easy as possible. The last thing you want is to have to come up with last minute excuses.
These are some basic ways of covering your ass. Now I’m not the all knowing god of cheating, so any tips that you have will be generously accepted. Email them to me, and see your name in print.