I Want a New Girlfriend – Friday May 9

I Want a New Girlfriend – Friday May 9

In the VIP Room (7:00PM EST) Jack

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Fuck Fuck Fuck (5:00PM EST) Jack

Well, all good things have to come to an end sometimes. On the eve ofour anniversary, me and Monica finally broke up for good. I guess I should haveseen it coming, but maybe I was just blind to it because of the great sex. Ohwell, I’m sure there’s plenty of other girls who are willing to spread theirlegs for me. I’m not going to dwell on it for too long, so this is probably theonly emotional moment you’re going to get.

In other news, I’ve got one more final beforeI’m finally done with classes for the semester. I tell you I can’t wait forsummer to come. It’s been a long fucking winter and it’s about time to see moregirls at the gym, at the pool, and on my bed. Of course a couple of buddies ofmine are already living the dream as you can see in these pictures.

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Two older men are sitting on a park benchtalking and one of them asks the other about his sex life. The man answers thathe has an excellent sex life and is still very active.

The other man confesses that his sexual appetite has greatly diminished with oldage so he asks the other man if he has any secrets for staying sexually vital.

“Well,” answered the man, “I eat rye bread everyday. That is mysecret. If you just eat rye bread, your sex life will improvedramatically.”

The other man decides to follow this advice and finds a bakery nearby. He tellsthe clerk behind the counter that he wants all of the loaves of rye bread thatthey have in stock.

The clerk then asks the man, “do you want whole loaves or do you want us toslice them?”

The man looks puzzled and asks the clerk, “what is the difference?”

The clerk responds, “Well when it’s sliced, it gets harder faster.”

To which the man responded, “How come everyone knew about this butme?”

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Doesn’t that dude fucking thebroad look a little like Al Snow?? I wonder if the wrestling career didn’t payoff and now he’s using his celebrity status to fuck broads he meets on thestreets?

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A kid comes home from school and says to hismom, “Mom I’ve got a problem.”

She says “Tell me.” He tells her that the boys at school are using 2words he doesn’t understand. She asks him what they are.

He says “well, pussy and bitch”.

She says “Oh That’s no big deal, pussy is a cat like our little Mittens,and bitch is a female dog like our Sandy.”

He thanks her and goes to visit dad in the workshop in the basement. He says tohis dad, “Dad the boys at school are using words I don’t know, and I askedmom and I don’t think she told me the exact meaning.

Dad says “Son, I told you never to go to mom with these matters, she canthandle them. What are the words?”

He tells him…pussy and bitch.

Dad says “OK” and pulls a Playboy down from the shelf, takes a markerand circles the pubic area of the centerfold and says, “son, everythinginside this circle, is pussy.”

“OK dad, so what’s a bitch?”

“Son” he says, “everything outside that circle.”

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