– Thursday June 5 – 2003 :: I Want a New Girlfriend

– Thursday June 5 – 2003 :: I Want a New Girlfriend

Don’t Always Fuck Her Hard (9:00PM EST) Jack

Today marks another milestone in my relatively short life. June 5th willforever be remember as the day I almost got my ass kicked by two hillbillyrednecks. Let me give you a little back story before I launch into my diatribeabout how much I fucking hate white trash. I hate people who don’t know how todrive properly, I hate women who don’t signal, I hate guys who feel the need tocut me off and then go 20 mph. Most people should have the right to drive, andonce I become ruler of the world it’ll be easier to get a fag in a pussy than toget yourself a license. Everyday on the way to work I have to make sure I don’tget behind Grandma, Soccer Mom, or “I Wish I Was in Nascar” businessman. So between trying to drink my coffee, and smoke a cigarette, I’m surprisedI make it to work every morning.

So this afternoon on my way back from Westfield, these two fucking redneckstry and cut off my little Grand Prix in there barely held together by bondo POStruck. Of course I lay on my horn, and don’t let them into my lane, sure itwasn’t the best thing to do, but there was like MILES of road behind me and theywould have plenty of time to merge into my lane then. As I’m looking into myrear view mirror I see this Grizzly Adams looking mother fucker yelling andgiving me the finger. Now since I’m a total prick in real life, I slow down theVERY safe speed of 25 mph. The guys starts riding my ass, and by the way hisface was turning color, I’m sure he was getting more pissed off by the second.So continuing on at my lightning fast speed, he decided to follow me to myhouse. As I’m pulling into my driveway I reach into the back of the car just tomake sure that the wooden bat I use for Sunday’s game is still there. Of courseit was, and it made feel just a little bit safer once I got out of the car.

As I stepped out of the car I finally got a good look at the asshole thatdecided following me would make his day better. He was a good size shorter thanme, and at least twice as wide. Even if the guy could kick my ass, I’m sure Icould outrun him pretty easily. But since I don’t back down from a fight, itdidn’t end that way. As this fat fuck is standing in my driveway yellingsomething about my driving skills, all I can think about is bashing this whitetrash’s head in. Just the satisfaction of taking one bad driver off the roadwould make me smile so insanely that you would think I needed to be committed. Ilistened to his shit for a couple of seconds before a list of foul language cameout of my mouth. Monica was a little taken aback, but since she was in the cartaking down his plate number I wasn’t really concerned with her at the moment.After a couple of minutes of calling him a pussy, he and he redneck fag buddygot back in their piece of shit and drove off. I can ONLY hope that they setfoot on my property again because I’ll come out there swinging and I wont stopuntil that mother fucker either can’t drive again, or until he stops breathing.

There’s a not a lot that pisses me off, but bad drivers is one of the thingsand I’m glad I got that off my chest. Now here’s something that always makes mefeel a lot better. PORNO! And the best porno is when it comes from fansof the site. Check out this broad here for some nice fan pics.

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